Girl: "Looking for a guy with money." Guy with money: "no thanks"

[NinjaBoy]

Found this funny today.

Howard Lindzon » Craigslist Meets WallStreet...Classic

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810


THE ANSWER


Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

[mojo]

Ladies, you can lease me for a 10 page paper on Cuban/US relations.

[Phrenetic]

i hate females like this

[mojo]

Originally Posted by Phrenetic

i hate females like this

Why? She is putting it all out there, the deal is open and on the table. I can understand that type of attitude if she was an undercover money grubbin' prozzy-type, but this lady is honest about her wants. I say good luck to her.

[Phrenetic]

Originally Posted by mojo

Why? She is putting it all out there, the deal is open and on the table. I can understand that type of attitude if she was an undercover money grubbin' prozzy-type, but this lady is honest about her wants. I say good luck to her.

I base my relationship on love and our salaries

i may be living in a different world

[Senior]

Originally Posted by NinjaBoy

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.


[/i]

this really nailed imo. why can't she find that trophy husband because you know he's looking. inflated ego maybe? all the same nothing against her for trying.

[wishbone]

my name is wishbone and i approve of this thread

[esoter1c]

She's tryin' to muddy her waters to appear deep.

She's a puddle.

[SEAN!]

this is about the 12th time ive seen this this week, i betcha itll be on CNBC next.

still kind of funny though

[Grapes]

Originally Posted by esoter1c

She's tryin' to muddy her waters to appear deep.

She's a puddle.

I don't give her anything other than barely minimal points for the "everyone's superficial, at least I'm honest about it" angle.

Not nearly as original as she seems to think it is, and if you have to explain yourself with an "at least", you probably are a bit of a shoddy excuse for a human being.

[DefJef]

"Give me half Eddie"

[Gusto]

-Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys.

ahaha, maybe they have their own jobs and money. or maybe something besides just looks. this woman doesn't really think much of her gender.

[galaxie]

^ She thinks that men want to marry hot, dumb, greedy women. That's not true, men just want to fuck and chuck those types. In my experience, a man wants a good looking, trustworthy, intelligent woman that doesn't need (or expect) him to support her.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by mojo

Why? She is putting it all out there, the deal is open and on the table. I can understand that type of attitude if she was an undercover money grubbin' prozzy-type, but this lady is honest about her wants. I say good luck to her.

I don't think honesty is his problem with her. It's the fact that she's shallow.

Seriously, if all you're after is deep pockets then what's the point?

She wants to be a trophy wife. I hate trophy wives. We have another word for people like that: "mooch"

[Revolver]

oh my....

well...the world is saturated to the tit with young women like that. no substance,no soul,no happiness. those types are doomed to become miserable old wenches who drink to much wine,pop too many pills,ignore the husband fucking the 'newer model' secretary and raise horrible bratty children to continue the cycle....makes me sad.

but anyway i loved the guys line about her being a depreciating asset. that was just gold.

[-evil-duerr-]

ha ha. that was classic

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Revolver

oh my....

well...the world is saturated to the tit with young women like that. no substance,no soul,no happiness. those types are doomed to become miserable old wenches who drink to much wine,pop too many pills,ignore the husband fucking the 'newer model' secretary and raise horrible bratty children to continue the cycle....makes me sad.

but anyway i loved the guys line about her being a depreciating asset. that was just gold.

Agreed. This chick is destined to become Celia from Weeds.

[Crunch]

just what I needed to read. thanks Ninja

Originally Posted by Revolver

oh my....

well...the world is saturated to the tit with young women like that. no substance,no soul,no happiness. those types are doomed to become miserable old wenches who drink to much wine,pop too many pills,ignore the husband fucking the 'newer model' secretary and raise horrible bratty children to continue the cycle....makes me sad.

but anyway i loved the guys line about her being a depreciating asset. that was just gold.

while i agree this woman is probably a troll, she has a point.

qualities i look for in a guy include job that pays better than mine, and doesnt live with mom. i dont want to be with someone that is forever broke or cant take a vacation with me if we wanted to go somwhere exotic. now i havent set a minimum amount that he has to make, he does have to have his own flow or no dice.

but then again i am totally shallow, so the richer the better.

[Revolver]

Originally Posted by Avana

while i agree this woman is probably a troll, she has a point.

qualities i look for in a guy include job that pays better than mine, and doesnt live with mom. i dont want to be with someone that is forever broke or cant take a vacation with me if we wanted to go somwhere exotic. now i havent set a minimum amount that he has to make, he does have to have his own flow or no dice.

but then again i am totally shallow, so the richer the better.

LOL!..you should use this to place a personal add

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Avana

while i agree this woman is probably a troll, she has a point.

qualities i look for in a guy include job that pays better than mine, and doesnt live with mom. i dont want to be with someone that is forever broke or cant take a vacation with me if we wanted to go somwhere exotic. now i havent set a minimum amount that he has to make, he does have to have his own flow or no dice.

but then again i am totally shallow, so the richer the better.

six digits is a bit more than "doesnt [sic] live with mom"

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

six digits is a bit more than "doesnt [sic] live with mom"

what are you talking anything less then 250k a year is abject poverty..particularly in new york

[thebobman]

For those of us without a coke habit or a black-crack (aka vinyl) habit, $250k/yr is not abject poverty. In New York, yes. But why would you wanna deal with all those assholes when you could just move to Europe for the same money?

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by thebobman

For those of us without a coke habit or a black-crack (aka vinyl) habit, $250k/yr is not abject poverty. In New York, yes. But why would you wanna deal with all those assholes when you could just move to Europe for the same money?

Because as blunt as they may be, NYC assholes ain't got nothing on the French.

[kir mokum]

Originally Posted by Avana

while i agree this woman is probably a troll, she has a point.

qualities i look for in a guy include job that pays better than mine, and doesnt live with mom. i dont want to be with someone that is forever broke or cant take a vacation with me if we wanted to go somwhere exotic. now i havent set a minimum amount that he has to make, he does have to have his own flow or no dice.

but then again i am totally shallow, so the richer the better.

BACK TO THE KITCHEN WITH YOU! MY STEAK ISN'T GOING TO COOK ITSELF.