me: I was attending a soccer game 4 years ago and apparently the biological mother of one of the players there was in attendance (the guy was adopted when his bio mom was really young, like 16), and they had reunited a little bit earlier. she was sitting with the adopted family and her sister. i was sitting nearby and i could see she was trying to play it cool, and cheered when it was appropriate and all that. probably didn't want to come off as stalkerish, or trying to 'reclaim' her son.
When he scored a goal the whole family cheered, but the mom was just . then i noticed tears were streaming down her face but she wasn't making any sound and no one around her acknowledged it. like she couldn't express emotion because it would embarrass her and because it wasn't her son anymore, so it wasn't appropriate.
later at half time I saw her sitting on a curb, crying and gasping, like a wounded animal saying to herself "that's my son" "that's my son".
I sorta left the game myself and started sobbing into my sleeve for about 15 minutes.
losing my best friend last week. i've lost grandparents and close friends but i didn't know what it felt like to ache for someone like this until last week. he was like my brother and i love him so much. and i bet this will move me to tears for the rest of my life.
Jan 23, 08
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