When do you want to settle down?

[rawb]

HONEST QUESTION: Why do girls feel like their "waiting"? i don't understand that shit. (I AM NOT SAYING YOU ARE WRONG I AM JUST SAYING I DONT UNDERSTAND IT)

[shebavpg]

Originally Posted by Courtney

pussy kat and shebav...i know how u feel well its different but Im gonna need someone else to walk me down too :( probably my mom to be honest..........maybe strange but I love her the most so why not

That would be very cute. <3

If my best guy friend and I happen to fall adirft, I would get my step brother to walk me down the isle :), but he'd probably make me laugh or something lol

[Disco_Whore]

Because we expect the guy to ask, and we usually feel we are ready for marriage before they are?

I don't really know either.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by rawb

HONEST QUESTION: Why do girls feel like their "waiting"? i don't understand that shit. (I AM NOT SAYING YOU ARE WRONG I AM JUST SAYING I DONT UNDERSTAND IT)

Because traditionally chicks don't propose, I'm guessing.

edit: outposted

[Courtney]

Originally Posted by rawb

HONEST QUESTION: Why do girls feel like their "waiting"? i don't understand that shit. (I AM NOT SAYING YOU ARE WRONG I AM JUST SAYING I DONT UNDERSTAND IT)

Societal pressures make it that way
you COULD have a kid at 40 but that's really not the "norm"
Men can be older- 40's even but women do have a biological clock and having kids after 30 increases birth problems as well as reduces chances of fertility. People are having kids later now but biologically your twenties are the most fertile time for a woman- our bodies are telling us to get prepared...I never believed in maternal instinct until i got it- I know I have it, I don't think every woman has it but I definetely know it exists
thank god for the pill!

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Courtney

Societal pressures make it that way
you COULD have a kid at 40 but that's really not the "norm"

It's not a matter of norms so much as biology. Chicks go through menopause in their 40s. If you're waiting that long to have a kid, you stand a good chance of missing out.

[Courtney]

I want to have kids at 35 at the most, with or without a father
I will adopt if I have to
I will not settle to be with a man just because I feel that I should settle down but I know at that point I will want kids regardless (since I even want them now) so I'm content in knowing I will be a mom one day
I can only hope I have a great father for my kids

[Disco_Whore]

I think I was born with baby fever :(

[SEAN!]

whenever, ill play that shits by ear.

can'ts be plannng every aspec f o life, knaimsayin?

[diva]

Originally Posted by Courtney

I want to have kids at 35 at the most, with or without a father

Who's going to take care of the kid after your mat leave runs out? Please don't say daycare.

=(

[veN]

i'll take things as they come. i stopped making plans a long time ago.

edit: after rereading, that sounds kind of cynical. I didnt intend it that way at all. I just meant i've been in serious relationships where we did lots of "life planning" and when you come out of something like that it can be hard to get yourself sorted again. kind of like "well, now what?". So i just stopped making definite plans. That said i'm not afraid of making plans this time around, so much as I've had a lot of success just going with the flow this time around. i'm learning to be less neurotic.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

i have adhd when it comes to relationships, and I am also emotionally retarded. The ideal of marriage is really warm and fuzzy and makes me sigh every so often, but knowing the reality of marriage quickly melts away any fairytales Ive occasionally entertained.

Im happy that I had my terrorist when i was 22, and that I hold the upper hand in the parenting situation with her father. I thought I wanted more kids until I took my daughter and my niece who is also 2 to another 2 year olds birthday party. never again!

[Ragga_Wh0re]

Originally Posted by diva

Who's going to take care of the kid after your mat leave runs out? Please don't say daycare.

=(

...whats the issue with daycare??

My daughter goes to daycare and her daycare workers have done an exceptional job caring for my child.

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

God, the amount of booze and weed that will be at that wedding...

im going off the wagon big time for that.

ill aim for just a few notches below mr lahey drunk

[ebbomega]

Why do so many people always assume that marriages are by definition bad?

Last I checked 50% of them turned out generally fine...

[Ragga_Wh0re]

^ i dont think marriages are bad, I am just incapable of sharing my time and space with one person for an extended/ongoing period of time. With marriage its you and one person forever...or until you get divorced...which ever happens first.

Knowing my capabilities and limitations Im not about to set myself up for an expensive failure.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

^ i dont think marriages are bad, I am just incapable of sharing my time and space with one person for an extended/ongoing period of time.

This is silly. You've just said you're perfectly fine doing it with your kid.

Before you get into the "You don't know what it's like to have a kid" rhetoric - I do know what it's like to have a strong family unit, and the love that happens between husband and wife can be every bit as strong as the love between mother and child.

[tiedye]

boosh!

[Ragga_Wh0re]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

This is silly. You've just said you're perfectly fine doing it with your kid.

Before you get into the "You don't know what it's like to have a kid" rhetoric - I do know what it's like to have a strong family unit, and the love that happens between husband and wife can be every bit as strong as the love between mother and child.

I think you misunderstood what i was trying to explain.I wasnt arguing or trying to deny the love shared between two people within marriage, I was simply stating that marriage is not for me (not because I think marriages are all bad) because I know myself well enough to know that I would not function well within a marriage setting...or even something close like common law.

thats all.

[tiedye]

Basically what everyone's trying to get at here is that it's got to be pretty rad in the sack.

[ebbomega]

Well, I don't really know you at all so what you say could be true.

I just know that limiting yourself one way or another - saying "I'll absolutely get married" or "I'll never get married" - is cheating yourself on personal happiness.

Rawb has it right. Making plans is pointless until you're at a point that you're ready for it.

[Erin]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

This is silly. You've just said you're perfectly fine doing it with your kid.

Before you get into the "You don't know what it's like to have a kid" rhetoric - I do know what it's like to have a strong family unit, and the love that happens between husband and wife can be every bit as strong as the love between mother and child.

... :)

[Courtney]

Originally Posted by diva

Who's going to take care of the kid after your mat leave runs out? Please don't say daycare.

=(

What's wrong with daycare?
I went to daycare where I was in contact with some of the most inspirational adults I have ever come across. I still see them today and consider them like family. My best friend works at a daycare she's amazing with children and she went to school for it, she does a great job-better than some of the parents I would go as far to say.
Daycare is great, it exposes kids to other children and life outside of the family unit I think it is healthy and I plan on putting my kids in daycare, whether or not I finanically have to or not.
Kids with nannies are generally not the type of kids I want haha

[diva]

I don't think one year olds should be in daycare. They're still babies. That's just my opinion, though.

[Courtney]

Well some people don't have the privilege of staying home later than that
These days both parents have to work in order to support their children enough- I think it takes a lot of courage to put your kids in daycare, it is for their benefit in the long term that these parents go to work, not out of selfishness.