Caution - Religious Joke

[Sariel]

A young woman teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too.

Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air.

There was, however, one exception. A girl named Sarah had not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asker her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a Christian."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm an atheist."

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Sarah why she is an atheist.

"It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom is atheist, and my Dad is atheist, so I am atheist."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason." She says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

"Then," says Sarah, "I'd be a born-again Christian."

[Sariel]

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES--$50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the cop, "How come you don't stop them?!"

"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."

So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day found the same cop in the same area when he noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he decided to catch up with them -- when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"TWO FALLEN ANGELS SEEKING PETER---$50.00."

[rawb]

roses are red, violets are blu-ish, if it wasn't for christ we'd all be jewish.

[Raver_O.G]

HAHAHAHA you had to share my jokes with the rest of the world eh? I just came on to do that myself!! GOLD I tell ya GOLD!!

Plus you get any bad karma if it pissess someone off!! :P

[Oscar Da Grouc]

hah, those are sweet

[Quin600]

Here is a much more physical gag, but I will try to translate it into words. If you want to see it in person, ask me to do it.

The joker, or performer of the gag stands with legs close together and ams out to the sides, forming a T shape. The Joker then calls out to the audiance "Whats this?"

The audiance, or jokees, will generally answer with confused looks, sass remarks, or "What?"

The joker then delivers the punchline "A really shitty way to spend easter."

[~god~]

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job".

So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job.

But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted his computer. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?"

God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves".

[neoh]

^^ rotfl.

that one is awsome.

[crackdragon]

lol...