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Federal Government interfering with the Stanley Cup
OTTAWA - The federal government today announced it would award the STANLEY CUP to Quebec, even though Alberta's CALGARY FLAMES will win the competition. The cup will go, instead to Quebec's MONTREAL CANADIENS, who were defeated in the early rounds of the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Prime Minister Paul Martin said the hockey series was "only a guideline," and non-binding. He conceded that CALGARY might have been the best hockey team, "but we have to look at what's best for Canada." "We have to support Canada's hockey industry which is centered in Montreal" said the prime minister. "Montreal is in the best position to take full advantage of the Stanley Cup."
He said the decision to overrule the playoff results was "difficult and painful," but that national interests had to prevail over petty "regional considerations." Loss of the coveted trophy left most of Alberta seething with rage. "It's another example of Quebec getting the goodies and the West getting the shaft," said Ted Byfield.
Indignant Quebec MP's who lobbied long and hard for the Stanley Cup vehemently denied that the decision had anything to do with politics. "It's not as if the West isn't getting its fair share of federal support," "We've announced the Lloydminster upgrader eight or nine times. And let's not forget about all that rain for Western farmers this spring."
A Quebec industry minister dismissed Western complaints as "anti-French hysteria from Alberta dinosaurs." "Quebec absolutely deserves this," he said. "The MONTREAL CANADIENS have extensive experience as Stanley Cup champions, while the CALGARY FLAMES have little to none. Sure CALGARY will win this series with a couple of fluke goals and lucky saves, but the CANADIENS have proven themselves over the long haul." "If we're denied the Stanley Cup now, it could only rejuvenate Quebec separatism and threaten the integrity of all of Canada."
The Quebec premier was delighted to see the cup go to MONTREAL. He said the trophy will be re-engraved with its new name - "La Coupe Stanley" to comply with Quebec sign laws.
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Jun 02, 04
