without a hope

[justin]

like freshly cut roses
turned over a new leaf
like a red drop on freshly fallen snow
your eyes smile at me

you want to sway me
swimming in a pool of insecurity
im still your friend
like two early graves

wrapping my arms around familiar emptyness
all too familiar, too relative
Its all me

your emotions are too abstract for me
and sometimes we have to let free what we adore
the clouds always find me, the rain always falls on my face

the sun might rize on your horizon, but the moon always falls
when i look through my shattered looking glass
and see your face in place of my own reflection

[zarlon]

but that face is one and the same
can't you see me?
i can't see you,
looking through this piece of broken glass,
in search of an answer,
as it must be,
for i am you,
and you are me.

it's always nearer than we think, we reach to far,
to the greatest of heights - never imagining that what could be accomplished -
lies in the stars of a moonlight night

so take these thoughtless wants and needs and.. throw them away!
as if you could throw no farther, to the wind..
and as she opens her mouth to kiss you -

let her steal what's left of your soul.

[vacant]

[justin]

i cried too many tears
while pipe dreams fell
and hopes lowered the bar

washed down like jagged edges
curled fingertips and salted sorrow
take me to a place where expression lies easily
where i can breath again
these lungs sink like lead
and fill with dread while each and every one of you

slip away from me
and change into something you were not
easily forgotten it seems.
maybe im just washed down
like shards of pain

just out of sight
like this whole facade
swirling down a rusted drain
in tune with rusted eyes

[zarlon]

and the water
it rips my throat apart as i try to choke these words out
"its only being lonely that hurts"
they could never touch me again
sit against the other side of the other wall of the other room
on the other side of my fragile planet

and i could be whole
or sane
[ patterns emerge ]
why do i always want to be like someone else?
why do i always want to BE someone else?
health runs rampant with his little knives
and i'm shaking in my shoes
so wonder why i can't take you to those pots of gold we used to speak of
and break mirrors under the sun
so that we could send ourselves to the stars -

reduced
to a mess.

in synchronization with the tap plugs being pulled out -
pulled down the drain ...... and filtered out

[ you can be my coffee drainer ]

until it all becomes so ridiculously abstract that i don't even know where i'm coming from anymore.

can you teach me how to smile?

[justin]

I cant teach myself how to smile
i have to go over the steps and re learn,
how to feel happiness again
how to flush it all away like
false hopes falling on puddles

I turn myself out
like closed eyes shut out the world
behind closed doors and broken floors
walking upon crushed dreams

I cant smile until i've defeated the word lonely
until i've overcome the extremities thrown in my face


[im going to bed] and dream the world away
because in sleep i find solace

emotions turn quicker than pages

[zarlon]

i'm not going to bed,
but i'm going to sleep for as long as i can...
maybe it will grab me from my dreams and rip something out
that i don't even need.

i feel like i can't make make a difference
and it keeps on repeating itself, same old
every day
night after night i want to be somewhere [ someone, something ] else

until i just want the nails through my heart to dissolve

and leave me with nothing.