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| Coffee Lounge Talk amongst other community members. |
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Aug 05, 04
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The Wisdom of George Carlin
Here's one from my Page-A-Day Calendar:
There's a thing called Shaken-Baby Syndrome that people get upset about. Personally I think you have to give'em a good shake, or they don't Bake uniformly. 
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Aug 06, 04
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i love george
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Aug 06, 04
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Yah... his Page-a-Day Calendar wakes me with a laugh every day. Like today:
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance. It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep from getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
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Aug 09, 04
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Well I'll do it... when I get home I'll add todays quote.
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Aug 09, 04
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If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?
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Aug 13, 04
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The Carousel and Ferris Wheel owners traveled in different circles, so they rarely made the rounds together.
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Aug 17, 04
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"Life is short" Sorry. Life is not too short, it's just that since everything else lasts so long - Mountains, Rivers, Stars, Planets - life SEEMS short. Actually life lasts just the right amount of time. Until you die. Death, on the other hand, is short.
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Aug 26, 04
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This one made me laugh this morning...
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the opposite direction.
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Aug 26, 04
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Quote:
This is more depressing then anything ... but still genius.
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Aug 26, 04
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he is pure genius.
my fav: I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them. There are some people that are not into all the words. There are some that would have you not use certain words. There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7, Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember? "That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions, and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television? "Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits" Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul, curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war. "Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits" Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits, Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer." It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now." And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said, "I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay, Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow." So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word. I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed, and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out. But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words. Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no i have watched almost everything on his www.laugh.com :D
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Aug 26, 04
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I'm unusual in one respect. My lucky number is 541,633.
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Aug 28, 04
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The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Aug 28, 04
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Aug 28, 04
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hes comin to my place
200 bucks a ticket .. theres only room for 7 on the couches http://www.ticketmaster.ca/artist/702556?list_view=1
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Aug 31, 04
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I buy stamps by mail. It works okay until I run out of stamps.
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Sep 07, 04
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Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook.
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Sep 10, 04
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say "He was a loner." Well, of course he was a loner; he killed everyone he came into contact with.
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