The lunatic is on the grass...

[oddmud]

One evening last week, my girlfirend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets geta pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile... You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[yoko*]

e-heh-heh

[Oscar Da Grouc]

oh dude, thats the funniest shit i've heard...props to u for doin that..

[miSsy_chriSsy]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiing!!!!

fucking rights.

That was BEST story EVER.

[bl0nde]

that is awesome! what type of gf is she to expect you to buy her all that! i would never ever expect my bf to by me anything like that.. thats rediculous but that is a really funny story hahaha

[Chet]

wow that is pro

[crackdragon]

hahahaha

[BAL1STOPHER]

You cannot give Karma to the same post twice.

[axion]

dude, you so didnt say that to her.

a buddy from work forworded that to me in an email about a year ago.

BUSTED

[bl0nde]

:325: :076:

[mystique]

he never actually said that this is somthing he did or said, that was an assumtion you all made

[jim]

JASON, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO POST SONG LYRICS AGAIN????

[Candy-Kid]

hahahh dude so ownd...

When she said why cant you? You should have said something like you never know until you try lol or somethign!

[jim]

Originally Posted by Candy-Kid

hahahh dude so ownd...

When she said why cant you? You should have said something like you never know until you try lol or somethign!

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN EVEN FUNNIER???

IF YOU READ THE THREAD AND HAD ENOUGH COMMON SENSE TO KNOW HE DIDN'T WRITE IT!!!

[dapimpstress]

funny story... however... i dont think there's N E 1 that has actually done this.. cuz if I was their girl, they wouldn't be getting play for a LONG ASS TIME....

still hilarious tho... great for a mornin laugh!

[M!SKA]

that is fucking funny.

[dapimpstress]

still laughin about this one....^

[oddmud]

I never said I did it. I just posted a funny story.

Jim, STFU.

[crookedking]

Originally Posted by jim

JASON, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO POST SONG LYRICS AGAIN????

why to defeat the caps lock filter dude!

edit-i meant "way" not "why"

my bad.

[jim]

Originally Posted by influenza

Jim, STFU.

I love you too jason.

At anyrate, next time I run into you I'll buy you a beer for ruffling your feathers.

[kAyB]

haha ripper story

[.muffy.]

Originally Posted by influenza

One evening last week, my girlfirend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets geta pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile... You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

ha
I got that email too from my aunt in Washington State

still funny tho :)

[Grapes]

I knew it wasn't his story as well. As if Jase would ever get with a girl.

[ppcock]

that wasnt 12.

[dapimpstress]

Originally Posted by Grapes

I knew it wasn't his story as well. As if Jase would ever get with a girl.

hahahaha.. oh thats kinda sad.... humorus... but sad....