embarrasing story # 239495

sidekick · #1 (**permalink**) Sep 05, 04

Okay, so my friend Lucy and I decide that we want to go out for lunch somewhere, seeing as we are both hungry and to sustain life we need to eat some sort of food. So we head out to fourth avenue and stop in at Sophie's Cosmic Cafe for burgers. Now, for those of you that haven't ever been to this 'Cafe' of sorts, here is a quick description. It's a pretty funky place with weird old fifties decorations and such. Old Coke signs hanging on the wall, weird dolls and old license plates. You get the picture. There is also a row of empty glass Coke bottles that line the top of the dividers that are placed between each table/booth. This is where things went horrible horribly wrong.

So I think to myself, these Coke bottles are cool, I'm going to examine them a little more closely. So sitting on the inside part of our booth, my face is only six inches away from this row of Coke bottles. So i turn my head and focus really close on the Coke bottle that is closest to my face. I note its beautiful craftmanship and the decorative, yet classy writing on the bottle. But what did I see when i unfocussed my eyes on the very close Coke bottle and focussed them on what was on the other side of the restaurant directly behind this Coke bottle that I had been staring at so intently for several seconds? Why it was a fully exposed breast. I'm sure you can imagine my shock. Attached to one end of this breast was a baby having it's own version of lunch and attached to the other end of this exposed breast was a woman who was staring straight back at me with a very stunned (and slightly disgusted) look on her face.

I decided that the best way to deal with the situation would be just to forget it every happened and continue eating my lunch rather than bumbling around some stupid explanation of why I happened to be looking in the direction of her breast for so long with a stupid staring expression on my face.

Moral of the story: When examining objects close up, always make sure there is nothing behind them. Such as a breast.

-ff- · #2 (**permalink**) Sep 05, 04

"its okay its okay! I'm gay!"

That probably would have saved you.

Then again, she might have still been all 'CHAUVENIST PIG! BREAST FEEDING IS A BEAUTIFUL THING!!!'

mapleleaf4ever · #3 (**permalink**) Sep 05, 04

Jake, you should have asked her if you could borrow the other one...

krisamata · #4 (**permalink**) Sep 05, 04

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg thats great
i would have loved to have seen your face.

sidekick · #5 (**permalink**) Sep 05, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ff-

"its okay its okay! I'm gay!"

that's exactly what my friend Lucy said to do. She was like...quick, tell her your gay and you don't even care about that stuff!

i think that might have made it worse.

"don't worry, i'm gay, i'm allowed to look!"