Random Thoughts

[Atlantis77]

I felt like pure crap for the passed couple of days. School, family, girls, work, friends . . . life in general is getting to me. So i decided to put my thoughts onto paper.

Sitting in this fantasy land. This alternate reality that i've created for myself. Even i can't tell the difference anymore. I've been in denyal for so long that i've started to believe my own lies. Running away further and further, getting lost in this new world. Running away from the expectation, covering my life with a layer of substances that alter the human mind, so that i can be ME. Not the Sami that everyone knows. That Sami is dead. I want him to be dead. But everytime i put him away he comes back stronger then ever. Boosted by their words. The ones always looking for entertainment, pulling on the strings that have turned me into a puppet. I run further and further away from their hungry eyes. Judging me, never carryin about why i am the way i am. My mind twitches, hoping to come back, but i'm lost without a map. Every face i see is the same, fail to see color and feel warmth. I only find the way back when the faries are around. But the fairies dissapeare when the sun comes up. The smiles dissapeare and i'm left alone in the cold. Hoping for a meaningful smile. No more efforts. It's over, but then what? Broken promisses haunt me. I've lost the will to trust. The sharp daggers still remain in my back, and pierce my heart harder and harder as every day goes by. Bitter and hopeless i roam the streets, hoping to find the fairies. The cold air of the day wont let me sleep and my body shivers, yet the hope of finding the fairies at night keeps me sleepless. Hope is all i have, but hope is a dangerous thing. It leads to an unhealthy obsession and once there, there is no turning back. I remember her words, and her smile, they both left me alone. They both broke their promisses. But somehow i feel ok. I dont want them to see me like this. How i long for another breath for one and the vision of the moon in the eyes of the other. Tears wett the paper and everything is blurrey. I see a smile but i dont know who it belongs to. It makes no difference, becasue i'll know you're with me. But i'm not so sure about the other. Only if i knew. One last promiss, and it hasnt been broken. I cant let him break his promiss. The one he made to her, on the day of her journey. Pride keeps me moving, to go out and look for the fairies in the cold. But the clouds will go away and i'll see you smiling down on me. And i'll know you're with me, always. She 'll be here too. I will find the fairies, for you, for him . . . to her.


ps. im not en emo kid :) hope u enjoyed my random depressing thoughts.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

^ u are teh epitome of teh emo.

[Atlantis77]

too bad u r not in my shoes

[Ragga_Wh0re]

If I was,id buy another pair.

THEY ARE SO LAST SEASON!

[Atlantis77]

ooooh touche!!
:D


it is pretty emo, lol but it made me feel better.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

thats good eh.