cliche or lack thereof

[junglequeen]

What am I doing here?
Lying on the floor,
head in hands,
feeling so cliche.

I'd been setting the clock ahead for so long.
I wanted it all faster. To grow up, settle down, move on.
But somehow I missed the stop. And Im sitting here beside an old man
reeking of beer,
pretending hes not peering down my shirt.
And it hurts
even though Im smiling.

Let me off.

Because I think this is all there is.
Words that have lost their meaning.
action but no theory
theory and then laziness
Im spinning my wheels trying to conform.

I have an emptiness. That everyone gets but cant put their finger on.
I am no different than everyone else. And thats sad.

Help.

Im crying out but not sure what I would do if someone looked up.
Turning inside out and round and round trying to find the beginning.
For where you can re-start you can re-end.

Everyone grew up without me. Ive dumbed myself down for so long.
Im running their relay but without the baton. All my fans have gone home.

Im soo behind. Ill never catch up. So all I have are these cliches as I lie on the floor,
head in hands,
wondering how it got this bad.





(constructive criticism please :) )

[mapleleaf4ever]

Sounds like riding the Bus after partying Downtown.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

im failing to see what is cliche.
You jump from one thought to the next without bringing greater understanding and closure to the previous thought at hand.

Im not entirely sure what this poem is supposed to be about EXACTLY.

To me it looks like a bunch of scatterpated thoughts stringed together with the odd period,comma,and stanzas.

[G-Style]

I'll just say this. Growing up is fun isn't it!

[junglequeen]

thanks Val - Im gonna revise it
I felt really scattered so thats how it came out
now Im gonna bring it together

[Ragga_Wh0re]

^wicked.post your good copy when its done id like to see how it turns out.:)