Rare Chosen Path

[thebobman]

You commit verbal crimes with your stolen ryhmes.
I've told you this a thousand times;
if you deal with nickels and dimes,
Your search for fame will leave you blind.

its your daily grind, in which you'll find
this mental 8-ball you're behind.
no way but up there is to climb
so set the spurs within your mind.

the path is lined, with deadly mines.
tread lightly and avoid their spines.
Deceptive words upon the signs,
be sure to read between their lines.

for those designs are your confines,
your greatest weakness it combines
with fears that plague you of all kinds
'til paranoia it defines.

So over come, the damage done.
heal scars burnt by midnight sun.
brick by brick and one by one
piece by piece you've just begun

The chronograph, turns on behalf
of those upon rare chosen path
while all the world feels time's cruel rath
be sure that you are left to laugh.

But understand, the task at hand,
your own future is what you've planned.
fill your hourglass with sand,
and forge your own fate strand by strand.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

the first four pargraphs sucked.
but i liked the last three.

[{dC!}]

It was alright ...

[-ff-]

you need to vary your rhyme scheme

[thumper]

i'm new at this, but how exactly are guys judging this?

[Ragga_Wh0re]

^yer dumb.

[thumper]

^^ hah! that wasn't a rhyme. but back to my original question..