5 years old again

[junglequeen]

Im five years old again
after all thats happened
sleeping with the lights on
afraid to move until the sun
breaks through the blinds

Come check my closet
because I think I hear him
breathing, and Im petrified
frozen beside mountains of stuffed animals

Im five years old again
not quite sure of myself
in a body I wish werent mine
no longer a temple
a cage for my bleeding thoughs

Quick - look under the bed
I think I feel him moving
he'll reach out and grab me
smothered by hands Ill be unable to cry out
and Im afraid

Im five years old again
please lay with me until Im asleep
but dont turn the lights off
because in the night



he still comes for me

[Ragga_Wh0re]

im not sure in which context i should analyze this poem.
i like this poem tho! It reminds me of one of mine.

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

This brings up so many memories of being that young..Reminds me of when a serial killer was hung..dont remember his name..it was years ago..anyways..thats what this reminds me of. Gave me goosebumps.

[wum]

err. were you ever mistreated when you were younger?

[Ragga_Wh0re]

^I beleive shes using the 5 yr old thing as an anology for her present feelings of fear,uncertainty,vulnerability.

read between the lines people it aint that hard to do.

[Hota$$]

awww sheena, its so cute.....

[{dC!}]

Well written Sheena ... :)

[Ragga_Wh0re]

^thats all you ever say to anyone who ever posts anything in regards to poetry.

cant you come up with something more indepth to say as opposed to "nice work".????

[{dC!}]

Originally Posted by ~*goddessa*~

^thats all you ever say to anyone who ever posts anything in regards to poetry.

cant you come up with something more indepth to say as opposed to "nice work".????

... No.

[wum]

Originally Posted by ~*goddessa*~

^I beleive shes using the 5 yr old thing as an anology for her present feelings of fear,uncertainty,vulnerability.

read between the lines people it aint that hard to do.

But it almost sounds like she's regressing to an earlier time. like people who get into car accidents and when they get into a car again they start shaking. flashbacks, you know?

[Ragga_Wh0re]

yeah im well aware of that thanks for pointing that out for me because im too fucking stupid to see that myself.

once again its called analogys&metaphors and whatever other fricken writing vice you wanna throw in there.

[wum]

^^ It's alright, I'm new to this too :)

[junglequeen]

its actually about rape
but thanks for the support all

i still dont have the balls to write about my car accident but that one will be a doozy
watch for it

[Ragga_Wh0re]

i thought it may be about that,my bad.
i cant articulate my thoughts and feelings about my rape at all,mad props to you for being able to do so.

[junglequeen]

i think ive been writing something similar to this once a week every week since i was 8
the rest got too personal and make me cry
so this is what ya get

[wum]

Whatever helps you cope

[sungoo]

Originally Posted by Hota$$

awww sheena, its so cute.....

... wow, that is the most misguided reply I would of ever thought someone saying....

as far as the poem goes. I think it would sound better if you just completely removed the "while you're upstairs" part in the end.
I think the line takes away more impact from the "he still comes for me" at the end.
Not to mention it I think the imagery moves more from the lingering feeling of fear and paranoia, to a dependancy thing.

Anyways, I quite enjoyed it, I thought it's message was clear, and the poem goes through fast paced imagery as if you were running away at the same time.

[Euro Dollar]

i'm gonna ruin this thread by saying:

j/k

sheena, i think you should talk to me on msn more... and post such personal stuff less on fnk... you'll always get hurt by opening your self up on these forums... i've been burnt before.

[junglequeen]

sungoo - I agree completly - thanks for the advice

and Euro dollar - I post these peices as a way to get feedback from a young adult audience. I need to bounce concepts off someone and fnk is more neutral than making just my close friends read my work. Everything I post is personal but protected, Im not going to cry if someone doesnt like it. Writing is a way of unleashing for me, its easier for me to get my thoughts straight on paper than it is for me to get them straight verbally. but all that being said - TALK TO ME WHEN IM ONLINE BUTTFACE! <3

[dapimpstress]

you're a hot babe, i just know it (evn tho i havent met u yet) and it seems to me that you are MAD brave for being able to put yourself out there like this and not be afraid of "being burnt" propz to you, cuz u are lovely.

i *heart* u. **hugs**

PS- your poem is beautiful and striking, dont ever stop writing...

[Ragga_Wh0re]

Originally Posted by €uro Dollar

i'm gonna ruin this thread by saying:

j/k

sheena, i think you should talk to me on msn more... and post such personal stuff less on fnk... you'll always get hurt by opening your self up on these forums... i've been burnt before.

the thing is tho egor,is that youre an attention mongering try hard whore. Thats what sets you and sheena apart.

Comparing yourself to Sheena is like comparing horse shit to diamonds.

dont do it again.

[LeeBrat]

wow, thats awsome

[wum]

Originally Posted by ~*goddessa*~

the thing is tho egor,is that youre an attention mongering try hard whore. Thats what sets you and sheena apart.

Comparing yourself to Sheena is like comparing horse shit to diamonds.

dont do it again.

um. he obviously didn't mean it that way.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

thats irrelevant.

[wum]

Originally Posted by ~*goddessa*~

thats irrelevant.

it seems like you're trying to start shit all the time