the calm after the storm..

[Bevvy Swift]

the storm of my emotions has died
the dust has cleared
bodies wash up on the fetid shorelines -
grim aftermath of a violent night

the cows are landing periodically
here and there
picked up by this raging tornado
and tossed about like ragdolls

but there is light at the end of the tunnel
a glimmer of sun peeks its little head out of the murky mass
bringing hope to those who witness
who was there??

[Ragga_Wh0re]

it seems kinda choppy and forced, the words dont flow nicely together...but maybe thats what you were aiming for?

[Lady Dame]

The clouds shal always find a clearing that light can be shone through.
[paitence]
*hugggggs*

[Bevvy Swift]

Originally Posted by ~*goddessa*~

it seems kinda choppy and forced, the words dont flow nicely together...but maybe thats what you were aiming for?

it is sorta choppy cos i felt like cutting the sentences into peices, instead of having them on one line. funny how that works, isnt it??

[Ragga_Wh0re]

i wasnt speakin in regards to the way youve placed the stanzas,more so word choice. It just doesnt sound nice, and I mean its about a not so nice subject,but even not so nice subjects can sound nice...u kno?!

[Liqwid]

white boys can't ryhm....

!d

[mystique]

I think its lovely bevy
sorry i didnt call you back love, i was sleeping and i dont want to call your house so late now

[Bevvy Swift]

Originally Posted by mystique

I think its lovely bevy
sorry i didnt call you back love, i was sleeping and i dont want to call your house so late now

saight.