Things I learned from watching movies

[Sniper]

wish some of these could really be true

[ja_raul]

you could've at least copied and pasted the text instead of attaching the file.... also, its not even that funny, but ill post it anyways to save this thread

Things I Learned From Watching Movies
...All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

...If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

...All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the
armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

...All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

...It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in
the control tower to talk you down.

...Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

...The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.
No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

...If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

...You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

...Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

...The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

...A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

...When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a
bill -just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the
exact fare.

...Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

...Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

...Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

...The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

...A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.

...Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

...Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

...It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

...Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to
turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

...All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

...It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are
visiting.

...A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
duty.

...It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

...When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

...No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic
eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

...Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

...When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
other.

...Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

...Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at that precise moment.

...Any elevator will automatically go to your floor without pressing any buttons and take as long as you conversation to reach the right floor.

...One product will magically appear at the top of the bag with the
label in clear view.

...A building/car on fire will only explode when the star is out.

...There will always be a doctor in a plane or building with the right
medical supplies.

...70% of all black men are Denzel Washington. The other 30% are Morgan Freeman

try to give credit to where you get your shit from too, unless it was an email fwd.. in which case its sad that youre forwarding the junk from your inbox to a raver message board.