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Dec 29, 05
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facts about mr. T
Mr.T facts
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood. Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest; the result was the 80's. A break in the space-time continuum occurred on July 9th, 1986. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy into Mr. T while he was pitying some fool. Mr. T and Chuck Norris had words (better known as jibba jabba). Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the exact moment Mr. T punched him in the chest. The result was an alternate universe where Mr. T roundhouse kicks people and Chuck Norris pities fools. Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity. On the A-team, Face, Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr. T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear. Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth *** itself and created Scotland. Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity. Mr. T personifies pity. Should there be no fools, there would be no Mr. T. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it. Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus...all Caucasian people moved to the back. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday. Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway. Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T. Mr. T pities the fool who doesn't pity the fool, thus creating a never-ending loop of pity and pain. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him. Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occurred next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history. Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain. It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T. Mr. T once appeared on the show, Fear Factor, not as a contestant, but as a stunt. There were no winners and 6 deaths on the show that day. Mr. T has not been invited back. Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise. Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you." Mr. T is capable of spontaneously creating life. Once, while flexing, parts of each of his biceps broke off and created Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold. Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry. Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time. April 1st became known as "April Fool's Day" only after Mr. T decided it would be easier to pity a whole bunch of fools on a set date rather than pitying a few fools each day. Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods. Mr. T can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved. Mr. T lost two arm wrestling contests in his life. One was to the planet Jupiter, and the other was a two hour battle with his own umbilical chord. Mr. T's Mohawk is not held up by hair gel, his hair is just scared of him and is trying to get as far away as possible. 
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Dec 29, 05
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Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth *** itself and created Scotland.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
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Dec 29, 05
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Dec 29, 05
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Dec 30, 05
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Quote:
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fuck, i just shit myself!
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Jan 07, 06
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AHHHH HAHAHA! Treat her right!
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