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Jan 16, 06
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~Alcohol Horoscopes~
Kinda long but funny I got it in an email and I thought it was good so I thought I'd put it up on here. I'm pisces which is at the very end lol
ARIES >>>Drinking style >>>Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when >>>to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to >>>closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they >>>get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people >>>drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other >>>methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they >>>will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not >>>forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for >>>you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really >>>horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini. >>> Trademark cocktails >>>Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of spicy >>>food and red things -- and for balance, astrologers recommend they >>>eat tomatoes, onions, olives and greens. That's right, Aries, you >>>were born under the sign of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules >>>grapefruit, and they've been known to kick back a salty dog and a >>>sea breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a concoction with >>>cinnamon liqueur in it. >>> Drinking buddies >>>Marlon Brando, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Al >>>Gore, Thomas Jefferson, Elton John, Eric McCormack, Rosie >>>O'Donnell, Sarah Jessica Parker, Reese Witherspoon >>> >>> >>> TAURUS >>> Drinking style >>>Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow >>>glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus >>>is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop >>>inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart >>>jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud >>>and >>>buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest >>>of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a >>>teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious >>>(full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing >>>to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated. >>>Trademark cocktails >>>Early-to-bed Taureans need a picker-upper -- try a Red Bull and >>>vodka. They also have a leviathan sweet tooth and are fond of >>>drinks with names that sound like dessert (50-50 bar, mudslide). >>>Sweetly caffeinated drinks, like Irish coffee or white Russians, >>>are ideal. More macho Taureans will go for something >>>unpretentious, like a Jack and Coke or whiskey sour. >>> Drinking buddies >>>Cate Blanchett, Tony Blair, Pierce Brosnan, Cher, Penelope Cruz, >>>William Randolph Hearst, Jerry Seinfeld, Barbara Striesand, Uma >>>Thurman, Renee Zellweger >>> >>>GEMINI >>> Drinking style >>>Geminis can drink without changing their behavior much -- they're >>>so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just >>>hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with >>>finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely >>>advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Geminis >>>possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and >>>uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at >>>once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- >>>repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow >>>drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own >>>amusement. >>> Trademark cocktails >>>Easily bored Geminis need some stimulation in their drinks -- >>>those with two parts, like a black and tan (or just a double), are >>>particularly appealing. Otherwise, they'll drink all over the map, >>>ordering frou-frou drinks to add to their collection of cocktail >>>monkeys or going for whiskey rocks because they're feeling rather >>>noir. Gemini rules the herb anise -- make some home-infused anise >>>vodka as a gift. >>>Drinking buddies >>>George Bush Sr., Johnny Depp, Rupert Everett, Boy George, Allen >>>Ginsberg, Angelina Jolie, John Kennedy, Ian McKellen, Kylie >>>Minogue, Morrissey >>> >>>CANCER >>> Drinking style >>>Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an >>>after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer >>>darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must >>>guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out >>>secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in >>>true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, >>>they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But >>>there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few >>>bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your >>>second-favorite Cancer will do. Keep in mind once started, a >>>Cancer never stops... drinking. >>> Trademark cocktails >>>Ruled by the moon, Cancers are intrigued by the idea of moonshine >>>-- any booze, from a bourbon press to a whiskey and soda to >>>grandpappy's special brew in a mason jar, will do. They also like >>>comfortingly warm and sweet drinks, like hot toddies and hot >>>buttered rums. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd >>>be >>>adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda. Though a >>>six-pack of bud will do. >>> Drinking buddies >>>Pamela Anderson, George W. Bush, Bill Cosby, Tom Cruise, Harrison >>>Ford, Sean Hayes, Lil' Kim, George Michael, Princess Diana, Prince >>>William >>> >>>LEO >>> Drinking style >>>Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, >>>and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding >>>dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware >>>they're darling -- Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally >>>know their limit, probably because they loathe losing >>>self-control. >>>When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and >>>perhaps not with the one what brung them. But Leo's not the type >>>to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try >>>harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish Lion to make it up to you >>>the next day. >>> Trademark cocktails >>>Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions >>>festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common >>>strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, they often have a taste >>>for the fruity -- try a screwdriver, or add an extra cherry to the >>>next Manhattan. Their sense of drama lends itself to a kir >>>royale, of course. >>> Drinking buddies >>>Ben Affleck, Gillian Anderson, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, >>>Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Debra Messing, Kevin Spacey, Martha >>>Stewart, Andy Warhol >>> >>>VIRGO >>> Drinking style >>>Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. >>>Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less >>>than other signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze >>>neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They >>>rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's >>>controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast >>>lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead >>>sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to >>>declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of >>>intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ! >>> Trademark cocktails >>>Many Virgos prefer clear, simple, untreacly drinks like vodka >>>tonic or a real margarita, though you'll find 'em drinking >>>anything from unflinchingly downing Cuervo straight to smirkingly >>>ordering a dirty virgin. They also tend to like bitter, low-alk >>>guzzles like Campari and soda. They rarely change their drink once >>>they've found it, however. >>>Drinking buddies >>>Cameron Diaz, Hugh Grant, Christopher Isherwood, Michael Jackson, >>>Freddie Mercury, Carrie-Anne Moss, Dorothy Parker, Ryan Philippe, >>>Keanu Reeves, Lily Tomlin >>> >>>LIBRA >>> Drinking style >>>"I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm >>>damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and >>>relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with >>>Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side >>>(they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really >>>work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking >>>in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of >>>trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early >>>in the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even >>>blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops! >>>Trademark cocktails >>>Aesthetic Libras like pretty, pouffy drinks like a pink lady or a >>>brandy Alexander. That's the influence of Venus, their ruling >>>planet, which also gives them a horror of crudely named potions >>>like Sex on the Beach. They're fine with "normal" guzzles like >>>apple martinis, but every Libra secretly just wants Champagne, and >>>lots of it. >>>Drinking buddies >>>Jimmy Carter, Simon Cowell, Ani DiFranco, Janeane Garofalo, Hugh >>>Jackman, Martina Navratilova, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting, Oscar Wilde, >>>Catherine Zeta-Jones >>> >>>SCORPIO >>> Drinking style >>> Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk >>>at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're >>>hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to >>>drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them >>>see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a >>>personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing >>>Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating >>>drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. >>>They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you >>>were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you. >>>Trademark cocktails >>>Just as a Scorpio can look you in the eye and smile while secretly >>>plotting your demise, so does the brandy-laced stinger's sweet >>>taste hide a potent amount of alcohol. If you want to get literal, >>>serve them a scorpion -- they may not love tropical drinks, but it >>>shows you're paying attention. Scorpio rules watermelon, so break >>>out the blender and fix a pitcher of watermelon margaritas to >>>seduce 'em -- though red wine will do the trick just as well. >>> Drinking buddies >>>Truman Capote, Hillary Clinton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie Foster, >>>Bill Gates, k.d. lang, Megan Mullally, Demi Moore, Sylvia Plath, >>>RuPaul >>> >>>SAGITTARIUS >>> Drinking style >>>In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: when >>>buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. >>>Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. >>>This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect >>>from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna >>>Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the >>>room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- >>>like a nightclub, or a layground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks >>>are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; >>>spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call). >>> Trademark cocktails >>>A travel-loving sign, Sagittarius might be intrigued by drinks >>>like Moscow mules, Singapore slings -- perhaps even a Long Island >>>iced tea (not a bad option, given how much Sag can put away and >>>still stay vertical). Party monsters that they are, they're >>>attracted to shots, like the ever-popular lemon drop. Sag rules >>>pears, and could use a nice pear cider right about now, come to >>>think of it. >>> Drinking buddies >>>The Bush twins, Margaret Cho, Noel Coward, Betty Ford, Lucy Liu, >>>Brad Pitt, Keith Richards, Frank Sinatra, Anna Nicole Smith, >>>Britney Spears >>> >>>CAPRICORN >>> Drinking style >>>Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, >>>money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the >>>astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David >>>Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the >>>true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, >>>not too >>>eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who are >>>you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either >>>totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social >>>lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if >>>they can hook up with a cute groupie. >>> Trademark cocktails >>>Old-fashioned Cap would probably like an old-fashioned just fine >>>or a dry martini, or a gin and tonic, or a gimlet -- or any other >>>no-nonsense quaff. They prefer drinks that taste like alcohol and >>>generally hate drinks with more than three ingredients. However, >>>they like the flavor of cranberry and will order a cosmo >>>if they can handle the wait for it to get mixed. >>> Drinking buddies >>>Orlando Bloom, David Bowie, James Dean, Marlene Dietrich, Martin >>>Luther King Jr., Jude Law, Annie Lennox, Marilyn Manson, Richard >>>Nixon, Elvis Presley >>> >>>AQUARIUS >>> Drinking style >>>Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for >>>water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward >>>know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're >>>more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party >>>or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with >>>their >>>duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks >>>in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. >>>They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them >>>before they start raising their wrist): Aquarius is fascinated by >>>drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with >>>soused strangers while sober. >>>Trademark cocktails >>>Aquarius is likely to order stuff most people have never heard of: >>>a capirinha, Satan's whiskers, a negroni, an Arthur Tompkins. They >>>like to stump the bartender. This sign rules the color electric >>>blue and would be pleased by any tipple featuring blue curacao. >>>They also rule the olive tree, so pour the juice into that >>>dirty martini. >>> Drinking buddies >>>Jennifer Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Dre, Matt Groening, Ashton >>>Kutcher, Ronald Reagan, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake, Oprah >>>Winfrey, Elijah Wood >>> >>>PISCES >>> Drinking style >>>If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a >>>sign -- and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza >>>Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose >>>themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can >>>give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an >>>expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously >>>enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the >>>right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas >>>and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive >>>personality" can be read two ways, you know. >>>Trademark Cocktails >>>Pisces rules fresh mint, and they do love a mojito or three -- >>>though a julep will do just as well. They also like punches, like >>>sangria or the oh-so-aptly named fish house punch. (Pretty much >>>anything will satisfy a Pisces in a pinch, though -- "drinking >>>like a fish" is an idiom pulled out of the zodiac, not the deep >>>blue >>>sea.) Pisces is a chocoholic and loves creme de cacao (and spiked >>>cocoa). >>> Drinking buddies >>>Drew Barrymore, Chastity Bono, Chelsea Clinton, Kurt Cobain, >>>Edward Gorey, Queen Latifah, Liza Minelli, Anais Nin, Sharon >>>Stone, Liz Taylor >>> >>>Cheers!!! >>> 
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Jan 16, 06
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"Sagittarius might be intrigued by drinks like Moscow mules, Singapore slings -- perhaps even a Long Island iced tea (not a bad option, given how much Sag can put away and still stay vertical). Party monsters that they are, they're attracted to shots.."
LOL It's so true, I love singapore slings, and I'm sooo attracted to shots!! My alcoholic horoscope was almost right on :P lol
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Jan 16, 06
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Jan 16, 06
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wow baby that made my day! <3
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Jan 17, 06
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Hmm.. I find this to be pretty accurate. I loooove drinking and I looove to dance. :) And, well, it's so very true- I can be such a horrible flirt when I'm drunk. *blush*
Mmmm.. strawberry daiquiris are tasty. :PartEkid: Hmm.. drinking with Madonna and/or Andy Warhol would be mighty interesting. Quote:
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Jan 17, 06
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i don't neccessarily aaalways get emotional..=oP but it's true.. i never feel quite drunk enough where i get crazy like some people do.. i wish i could! and once i start.. i must always have a drink in my hand otherwise it's bed time.. and yes, a six pack of bud will always do!
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