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[icey]

today is like you are collecting
empty shells.
you walk the cold shore... so bravely.
a churning marbled sea of ghosts to one side of you,
they call out with feeling; no words.
don't get too close.
you've already swam this sea,
you've swam a million voids.

yesterday was like i walked through a storm
and it soaked my skin - through to the bone.
after all, memory is nothing a downpour cannot erase.
i feel so many miles away from today
yet days are becoming one in the same.

tomorrow we will watch from dry land
while waves destroy our theories.
presumption that the sea will still and the rain will no longer fall.
fictitious, of course.
and the silence is overwhelming

as fated clouds build
on the clandestine horizon.

[InsertRealName]

that's dope. my favourite line is
" after all, memory is nothing a downpour cannot erase."

[Jen-E-03]

oohh I like it ..gave me shivers :)

[Ragga_Wh0re]

i like it,but it makes me wanna slit my wrists.
I think a change in the tempo would work wonders for its overall feel/effect.You can still achieve the same dark kinda morbid undertone if you change the tempo a lil bit.

I really do like it though quite a few sentances stuck out in my mind,its well put together.I dunno I guess im indifferent,I like sad poems that have an upbeat outcome even if it doesnt appear to be so.

maybe its just the tempo of the poem that really gets me.

hmph.