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Jul 18, 06
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FNK Boardie Soap Opera!
Uhhmm...I'm booored...but my English...argh, so what... o.O
--- DISCLAIMER Any similarities to users and events on FNK are coincidental. The author reserves the right not to be responsible for the correctness, completeness and quality of this soap opera. If you don't agree with these terms, please don't read any further, refrain yourself from leaving silly comments or go and join Cobain in the great atonal jam in the sky! Thanks... --- ACT 1 - COP INVASION The scene takes place in the living room of FNKs shared flat. Low-lit, lava lamps, burning candles, Sphongle playing in the background! On the right you can see nabs and ebbomega, sitting on the couch and watching TV. In the middle of the room there's the shared linux server with 1 Terrabyte of MP3s on it. prozac and lastwerd are there, as well as mapleleaf4ever and ms. tarantula. On the left there is heffy, passed out and sleeping on the floor like a dead man...one jager bomb too much last night. hardstylin, lil jenna, snyx and tiedye are standing in the background. The curtain draws, public is cheering, the fun begins! [nabs] So, let's watch Half Baked! [ebbomega] Erm, no thx. [nabs] Hm? [ebbomega] I watched Half Baked really stoned once and thought it sucked. [nabs] Huh? [ebbomega] Dude, don't let Half Baked deceive you. It's a bunch of stoner stereotypes without any substance. [nabs] Ohh... [ebbomega] Jay & Silent Bob by far supercede it as movies about stoners. [nabs] No, Half Baked! [ebbomega] Jay & Silent Bob! [nabs] But I prefer Half Baked!! [ebbomega] Jay & Silent Bob ffs!! [nabs] Well... [ebbomega] Jay & Silent Bob STRIKE BACK, GODDAMMIT!!! [nabs] Huh...calm down...okay okay man, wtf. [ebbomega] JAY & SILENT BOB IN YIR FACE DUDEZ!!!!!!!!! [nabs] o.O Suddenly...the door bell rings. heffy gets his ass up...and opens... [stupid cop] Hello! It's the shared FNK flat, right? [heffy] hm? [stupid cop] Well...is this the right place to meet snyx or not? [heffy] jager? [stupid cop] Uhm...are you alright? Could I meet snyx please? [heffy] jager! heffy slams the door...and fumbles to his room to catch some more sleep. then the door bell rings again. mapleleaf4ever goes, opens door! [stupid cop] Hi! [mapleleaf4ever] Welcome...oh, the cops...yeah, we know neoh got arrested cause he had some...erm...substances carrying with him...so...are there any news on that? [stupid cop] What? [mapleleaf4ever] neoh from our flat...when will he get free from jail? [stupid cop] I don't know, sry. I'm here to see snyx. [mapleleaf4ever] Huh? Uhh... mapleleaf4ever calls snyx to the door. In the background you can see tiedye, who is uploading another 80gigs of fresh tunez to the fnk server. snyx gets up and welcomes the cop. [snyx] awreet...hi [stupid cop] Hello...are you snyx? [snyx] think so, yeah. [stupid cop] You're the owner of the flat, right? [snyx] uhmm...kinda, yup. [stupid cop] Ok...I'm sorry, but we need to check your computer! Stupid cop runs into the room, kicks tiedye unda da table and unplugs computer. all fnkers are like mesmerized and nobody can do anyhting. before anyone can insist, stupid cops leaves the flat and takes computer with him! only lastwerd jumps up and breaks the apathy...runs after the cop...and yells... [lastwerd] HEY DUDE!!! We are a bit short on flyering people for tonight...maybe you could stay to flyer after...ermm, wtf...wait...you're a cop? Uhh ehh aww...no worries man... o.O then, silence. 1 minute. 2 minutes. 3, 4, 5. paralyzed fnkers. heffy is on the couch next to hardstylin, mumbling sth 'bout jagers...yeah, jagers. [heffy] ugh erm huh... [hardstylin] never again. never! [heffy] eh? [hardstylin] last nite dude. [heffy] ohhhh... [hardstylin] i mean it this time! [heffy] I find that a shot of techila or maybe jager chases away those hangover blues. Hair of the dog my friend. Does wonders! [hardstylin] jager? shiat... hardstylin runs to the washroom. 5 mins pass. strange noises. funny smell. goddamnmfuckingjagers. then, suddenly, snyx's back in the scene! [snyx] wtf was this? [mapleleaf4ever] fwack...they will sue us for copyright infringement...there's 1 Terrabyte MP3s on our server....crap [prozac] uhm......they'll come over and kill us [ebbomega] calm down folks [ms. tarantula] buut...I'm a poor and innocent girl.... :( [ebbomega] yeah, sure... [ms. tarantula] but I am! [ebbomega] oh. uhmkay... In the background you can see prozac, checking her answering machine thingy on the cell...it was heffy calling...infected mushroom is playing, but then the music fades out...and low-lit gets dark...now there's only the lava lamps and heffy's voice on the 80'000 watt FNK sound system... [heffy] "Jessica!!! I realize it's like 5 in the morning but you totally wanna come I got like 4 shots in this two six *mumble* because there's no fucking way I can do it myself, I mean its a fucking team effort and if you don't help me I don't know what I'll do!!! cus I mean fuck there's no fucking way I can do it myself I'm a little drunk and I need your help because theres more booze and I know you're partially at least an alcohol *mumble* processing machine so you can at least help me process this alcohol cus it's like 5 in the morning and I will not go to sleep till I finish this then I'm going to come over tomorrow and take all your money playing poker *mumble* I don't know if you have to work at your telus store fuckin selling cellphones and shit all day but *mumble* fuckin what the fuck you should help me drink this shit its like 5 in the morning and we're watching a hockey game and I believe Edmonton's kicking ass I'm not entirely sure however..." it brightens up a little, low-lit. prozac alone in the middle of the stage, puzzled. the other fnkers stare at her, not knowing what to say. projectone is the only one who breaks out in laughter. heffy's on the couch, passed out, mumbling sth bout...erm...uhh...jagers...lights out...goddamnjagers...curtain draws. break. --- ACT 2 - STUPID COP'S RETURN 6 hours later. door bell is ringing. stupid cop enters room, plugs pc in and leaves without saying a word. all fnkers are around the computer, even heffy is back, hanging over the hangover of his life. tension fills the air! [ms. tarantula] start it up!!!!! [mapleleaf4ever] I'm sure they killed our mp3s [ms. tarantula] and all my party pics!!! waaaaaaaaaa!!! [nabs] stupid fucken cops......funken idiots.... [ebbomega] plz just stfu all of ya. snyx, boot up the dang machine!! snyx boots computer. Then...surprise.....the partiton with the mp3s is still there....nothing lost.....but there's a message on the bootscreeen "Dear FNKers...Dear snyx! The police officer was a staff guy of Microsoft. We checked your computer, deleted Linux and reinstalled Windows. So now it should be safe against viruses, worms and spyware (provided that you donwload all our weekly released patches, the patches of the patches, the patches of the patches of the patches, and the patches of the patches of the patches of the patches). We just have one more question: How the hell did you manage to delete the recycle bin icon from the desktop?!! Your sincerely, Bill Gates!" The curtain draws....lights out.......crowd is cheering! --- COMING UP NEXT IN THE BIG FNK BOARDIE SOAP OPERA... - will hardstylin eva drink again? - heffy and jagers...has all the love gone? - what about lastwerd and her funky flyer peeps? - is Jay & Silent Bob strike back really better than Half Baked?! Stay tuned...to be continued when the next rush of boredom hits me... o.O 
Last edited by anewlife; Jul 18, 06 at 09:51 AM. 
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Jul 18, 06
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im in this thread :)
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Jul 18, 06
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haha oh man. that was awsome. good way to start the day!
You should definatly keep making these :D
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Jul 18, 06
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theres not enough drugs and underaged girls in this story.
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Jul 18, 06
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Jul 18, 06
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hahahaha <3 that was awesome
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Jul 18, 06
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i've learned 2 new words here today, jerk off and cameo. awesome!! *throws away his verbal advantage vocabulary builder book* :)
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Jul 18, 06
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i really hope that you don't know any of those fnkers and you just created that whole soap opera from information that you gleaned from their posts.
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Jul 18, 06
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Jul 18, 06
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i was hoping that you had never met the people in your soap because then it would have been more amusing.
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Jul 18, 06
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way to post the same thing twice. i was going to give you Karma of Goodness for the funny read, but after seeing your double posting i've thought better of that idea.
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Jul 18, 06
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*hug* lol oh man I forgot about that. But that was outside Richard's lol. and tim, i think a lot of that was from posts but some was from meeting us (well me and heffy anyways). . . either way it's fucking funny.
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Jul 18, 06
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^ fuck you I just paid for my part of the bills!
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