My Words: Need some feedback please!!

[JadoreJDM]

Alright so I am an avid poet and I cant seem to find any feedback where ever I go, and I mean honest feedback. So since this is fnk I'll let you read my 2 most recent poems about the scene/music etc. Here it goes....


Entitled: My DnB

It growls deep inside
hammering itself down
grabbing hold and jolting--you
every-which way, feet moving simultaneously

deep, dark and dirty
enviously, your blood bounces and shakes
to its hyper-hard beat
body symbiotic with the bass

Nothing successively expected
Spontaneity.
Exhibition-istic.
Beats from the heat; jungle; landslide; heartbeat.
Now, thats love.


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Entitled: PLUR


Wanton to ride the heat
that push that feeling that drives your beat--heartbeat
Heavy breathing with the bass
closed eyes
raised thighs
pulsation and realization
enriched with a synth.
drop.kick.flow
four on the floor
sweat falls
enthralled
bounces like the fists
saluting the Gods

Lets dance till we break.
Break till we collapse
and beg for more.

complexity of braveness
a new sound for a new era
our generation of ravers

When loves all we got
for fantastic spectacular beats.
whats to stop us from taking the world over?
Bringin love to the doorsteps
using forceps of musical appeal.


alright, let the comments rip! Ciao...:)