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Jun 22, 07
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To Forgive...
Forgive and forget
To forgive is devine Be the bigger person ...All that jazz, what do you think about it? I always hear about how you should be the bigger person and forgive people and move on or whatever variation of the same thing. But, is it really that big of a deal or is it really something you should go about and do? Would it make me that much of a better person if I were to forgive someone who hurt me, broke my trust, and a lot more. It was a few years ago, and recently they've been trying to get in touch with me. Ive just not returned any contact to them, and I had no intention of doing so. But, people do change, this I know. So, should I talk with them? I dont think we would ever be good friends or anything like that, but I can still chat and see. Or I can just stick with my current decision and tell them to fuck off. Right now Im just sticking to no contact with them. But Ive been thinking it over, and Im not sure what the best course of action would be. Should I say hi and talk to them, or just keep the 'fuck off' sign up? What are you opinions on the whole forgive and forget ideals? 
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Jun 22, 07
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Its not so much the act of forgiving as it is the act of moving on, and not hanging on to something that really isn't worth your energy anymore. As with this individual it is up to you I think... if you did forgive them for whatever past transgressions or not, it pretty much comes down to whether you want them to be part of your life again (albeit just chatting over msn or what have you) or if you think that it is best left in the past.
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Jun 23, 07
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Forgive the things that in the end bear you no harm...some gestures are an outright insult, that may be the time to be vicious and unforgiving.
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Jun 23, 07
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well, if its been a long time since what this person did to you, its easy to forget how they made you feel back then and exactly WHY you lost contact with them... so right now, it could seem like forgiving them and whatever is harmless because you dont feel now how you felt then
but I suppose if you did decide to forgive and talk again, and it turns out bad, you could put the f**k off wall up again no problemo! but sometimes when youve gotten over something, past is best left where it is and you gotta just keep movin on up :)
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Jul 18, 07
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i think time is something that is always well needed. some ppl are like weeds...just get rid of them, but if u ever had a connection then maybe one day u can be friends etc again. ppl always think when they get into a fight with someone thats it, they will never speak again. fact of the matter is i never stay mad at ppl for long and i always become friend with ppl who i thought id never speak to EVER again.
matty maybe just hear what they have to say. it cant hurt right? i mean they took that step to swollow there pride and get in contact with you. its not like u cant just close the book again if u dont like what they have to say:) ppl make mistakes. dont go thru life wondering what they came back to say because u have been angry with them ever since. closure is a wonderful thing:D xoxoxx best of luck.
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Jul 18, 07
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Theres no sense in holding onto any anger or grudge you have towards the person, its not healthy. However, forgiving them dosn't mean you have to let them back into your life again.
I would be civil towards the person if I ever saw them but Id probably end up blowing them off afterwards. Last edited by SEAN!; Jul 18, 07 at 04:27 PM.
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Jul 18, 07
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Forgive but never forget. Be happy for who they are if they have made inprovements. Be nice to them, and sure, why not talk to them? If you have learnt your lesson the first time you are not going to put yourself in the situation that exposes you to having your trust broken again.
If the situation develops remember, trust must be earned- and its three times as hard to earn it the 2nd time around.
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Jul 18, 07
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^^such a true statement...."TRUST" the foundation to every relationship (friendship,romantic relationship, family relationship what ever)
if u dont have trust or communication with a person..its done
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Jul 18, 07
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I believe that forgiveness provides virtue. It paves a way for a new beginning for both parties. A clean slate.
However, people tend to abuse this. Sometimes, forgiveness is often provided more that once for the same situation. I think that those who feel that it's right to manipulate others to be forgiven are just plain wrong. Maybe I'm an optimist. I like to see the good in people and feel that everyone deserves a second chance, but if one chooses to make the same mistake over and over and continuously asks to be forgiven, one day, that forgiveness won't exist.
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Jul 18, 07
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fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
(i think thats how it goes)
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Jul 18, 07
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"To err is human, to forgive define"
It can be very difficult to forgive someone and you have to be very careful. Although being the bigger person doesn't necessarily mean letting people walk all over you. I also think that walking up to someone and admitting your mistake can also be the bigger person. You need to be careful as I teach my students that you need to explain WHAT you're sorry for and that you can only say sorry for something ONCE. I have forgiven people for horrible things. Mostly because I knew it took a lot for them to come up to me and I truly believed they ment it and it would never happen again. I have also refused an apology. The person couldn't really give me a reason to believe it wouldn't happen again as they knew what they were doing was wrong to begin with and the reasoning for it could quite possibly happen again. Last edited by R Wellbelove; Jul 20, 07 at 10:23 PM.
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Jul 18, 07
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dalyn everything you post is basically gold lately.
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Jul 20, 07
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doesn't mean you have to trust them or have them in your life. holding on to something like that is so negetive, let it go! i know of people that can't let certain things go, and although they think they don't care, they're carrying around all these negetive vibes about it. its people like this that i truely feel bad for, everyone deserves to be content and happy and carrying around hate and baggage is anything but positive!
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Jul 20, 07
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Quote:
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Jul 20, 07
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hehe!
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