This may be a mistake...

[KrisisID]

this may be a mistake posting this question on this site... but i'm going to do it anyways maybe someone will give me a good response that i can use. :)

I met a girl through a friend, just on MSN, we had a good conversation. It ended there... sort of. A situation came up where I needed to talk to her again, so i messaged her on facebook. She messaged me back, got my answer, but since then we've been messaging back and forth on facebook, about our lives, stuff we like, stuff we dont like and all that wonderful stuff. She initiates most of the conversation, where she poses questions to me and expects answers. So i did the same.

Now comes the tricky part. I already have her number because of said situation, which has nothing to do with a personal relationship (meaning for business use), How would i pose the question of "hey lets talk on the phone" (not exactly in those words) through a facebook message without sounding like a creep. Or have i already laid the foundation to just ask it without it being wierd.

I've never met her in person, but I will meet her come the end of February. Our conversations are usually based on: I like this, i like that, this is what like to do, opinions on random topics... and stuff like that, no dull boring awkward conversation.

Suggestions?

[jenai]

Originally Posted by KrisisID

this may be a mistake posting this question on this site... but i'm going to do it anyways maybe someone will give me a good response that i can use. :)

I met a girl through a friend, just on MSN, we had a good conversation. It ended there... sort of. A situation came up where I needed to talk to her again, so i messaged her on facebook. She messaged me back, got my answer, but since then we've been messaging back and forth on facebook, about our lives, stuff we like, stuff we dont like and all that wonderful stuff. She initiates most of the conversation, where she poses questions to me and expects answers. So i did the same.

Now comes the tricky part. I already have her number because of said situation, which has nothing to do with a personal relationship (meaning for business use), How would i pose the question of "hey lets talk on the phone" (not exactly in those words) through a facebook message without sounding like a creep. Or have i already laid the foundation to just ask it without it being wierd.

I've never met her in person, but I will meet her come the end of February. Our conversations are usually based on: I like this, i like that, this is what like to do, opinions on random topics... and stuff like that, no dull boring awkward conversation.

Suggestions?

obviously, you two have something in common. part of networking involves phone use, so apart from giving directions when you two meet, you'd have to focus on a recent exchange that went on for the longest time.

there also has to be mutual understanding built during that particular conversation on facebook.

i do not know how appropriate "shooting the shit" with a girl is gonna go over. but considering that this is a close friendship, it helps to have a topic and rapport before risking a telephone chat.

[tiedye]

In this day and age, people get to know each other better over MSN before they meet than they would in weeks or months in person. You can lift social bonds, articulate your words to better capture your frame of mind, and, most of all, there's less pressure. Yeah, it's a lot less personal in a lot of ways... and really, the in-the-flesh experience is what matters... but it almost relieves that initial awkward phase that everybody goes through when they first meet. That metaphorical white space in conversation doesn't exist because that time is spent doing other things. It's almost like a mission briefing - you get a good idea of the target, background info, hazard assessment, and ultimately prepare yourself for engagement. (Mind you, that still doesn't mean that enemy forces won't pull a surprise attack and you find immediate danger between you and the Evacuation Zone).

Anyways, all metaphors aside, you're already meeting her, right? Just wait until then. It won't be a forced rendezvous and it'll give you a more comfortable opportunity to pursue socializing outside of the professional environment.

[KrisisID]

Oh and another thing, i did not add her to my MSN nor yet add her to my friends list on Facebook, I've done this before with a girl that i was interested in, and it just totally diffused the whole interest in each other for some reason, which is something i dont want to happen with this girl.

[KrisisID]

Originally Posted by tiedye

In this day and age, people get to know each other better over MSN before they meet than they would in weeks or months in person. You can lift social bonds, articulate your words to better capture your frame of mind, and, most of all, there's less pressure. Yeah, it's a lot less personal in a lot of ways... and really, the in-the-flesh experience is what matters... but it almost relieves that initial awkward phase that everybody goes through when they first meet. That metaphorical white space in conversation doesn't exist because that time is spent doing other things. It's almost like a mission briefing - you get a good idea of the target, background info, hazard assessment, and ultimately prepare yourself for engagement. (Mind you, that still doesn't mean that enemy forces won't pull a surprise attack and you find immediate danger between you and the Evacuation Zone).

Anyways, all metaphors aside, you're already meeting her, right? Just wait until then. It won't be a forced rendezvous and it'll give you a more comfortable opportunity to pursue socializing outside of the professional environment.

I understand, but i want to work my way up to phone conversation before that.

[-evil-duerr-]

i'd msg her about doing something together, than after she says yes you ask if it's cool to use the business number to discuss it further.

I think you already knew that though, so my best advice to you is to quit over-thinking it, this is what it's really about I can tell.

If she likes you, you'll get a fair shot. If not, who cares there's always another one.

[KrisisID]

Originally Posted by -evil-duerr-

i'd msg her about doing something together, than after she says yes you ask if it's cool to use the business number to discuss it further.

I think you already knew that though, so my best advice to you is to quit over-thinking it. If she likes you, you'll get a fair shot. If not, who cares there's always another one.

well im sure she's interested in me, or else our conversation would have ended after the first message. She initiated the reply. So just go for it? We're already meeting though at the end of the month, i just want to get the phone conversations going.

[tiedye]

Originally Posted by KrisisID

I understand, but i want to work my way up to phone conversation before that.

I totally got a second question out of your original post that wasn't actually there. I thought you were also asking about the whole 'meeting someone online' thing. I need sleep.

[tiedye]

Originally Posted by KrisisID

well im sure she's interested in me, or else our conversation would have ended after the first message. She initiated the reply. So just go for it? We're already meeting though at the end of the month, i just want to get the phone conversations going.

Just do it.

[galaxie]

facebook msg:

"You know, we seem to have a lot in common. I don't mean to overstep my bounds, but would it be OK if I called you sometime?"

I think that's pretty simple...

[tiedye]

Originally Posted by galaxie

facebook msg:

"You know, we seem to have a lot in common. I don't mean to overstep my bounds, but would it be OK if I called you sometime?"

I think that's pretty simple...

Haha, I was just having a conversation with a buddy tonight... he was making a huge deal about how his ex and him still have feelings but all they do is have awkward moments when they run into each other. Through the grapevine, they always hear about how they're both really still crazy about one another. He expected me to give him this deep, insightful advice that would cast a whole new light on the situation.

My reply was, "You're an adult now. Adults are supposed to be able to talk about things openly. Do that."

[KrisisID]

Originally Posted by galaxie

facebook msg:

"You know, we seem to have a lot in common. I don't mean to overstep my bounds, but would it be OK if I called you sometime?"

I think that's pretty simple...

I like that one.

[-evil-duerr-]

Originally Posted by KrisisID

i just want to get the phone conversations going.

why i need to go to sleep lol, ya i didnt read your post right....

but ya sounds like your in like a dirty shit anyways, get er done!

[jenai]

i have a 30something lady on my Fb friends list who pokes me regularly, and we chat about a few things, but nothing intense.

i think the thing we have in common is we both vowed never to have close relationship with the opposite sex.

and for the record, i am too old to think with my gonads. in this day and age, i feel that's the woman's perogative. ;)

ediit: the reason why i am mentioning this is, most women usually chat for about two or three times, and then don't bother replying after that.

because we both understand we're over the opposite sex, we are actually talking like two friends, rather than like hr0ny teens.

[tiedye]

Originally Posted by -evil-duerr-

why i need to go to sleep lol, ya i didnt read your post right....

but ya sounds like your in like a dirty shit anyways, get er done!

I heard bitches love doing laundry.

[b0ld]

[impure]

"feel free to gimme a call sometime if you want my cell number is 604....."

[sNyx]

mate just ask if you can give her a bell on her mobile and when she is free to speak. her follow up will give you the answer your looking for. don't piss around on it, if you chew on foot you learn best for next time.

[Revolver]

Originally Posted by KrisisID

we've been messaging back and forth on facebook, about our lives, stuff we like, stuff we dont like and all that wonderful stuff.

good indication right there of a connection.....you know that feeling that made you type 'wonderful stuff'?...follow it.

Originally Posted by KrisisID

She initiates most of the conversation, where she poses questions to me and expects answers.

she's interested. shes asking you questions to suss out just how interested she wants to be.

Originally Posted by KrisisID

How would i pose the question of "hey lets talk on the phone" (not exactly in those words) through a facebook message without sounding like a creep.

just like this....... "hey,lets talk on the phone"

Originally Posted by KrisisID

have i already laid the foundation to just ask it without it being wierd.

yes you have,and so has she...

Originally Posted by KrisisID

Our conversations are usually based on: I like this, i like that, this is what like to do, opinions on random topics... and stuff like that, no dull boring awkward conversation.

basically it should be pretty obvious that she,and you, are trying to match up likes and dis-likes.thats a big signal right there. esp. during a msn convo.

what you need to do,as a man, is put your fear in check and just take the plunge....

if you want something or someone,but you dont have the salt to actually pursue it...then you dont deserve it.

[-evil-duerr-]

Originally Posted by tiedye

I heard bitches love doing laundry.

hhaha

[mojo]

Just call her, stop thinking so much. If it comes up you explain that you like her and be done with it.

[KrisisID]

Done, and done!

[tiedye]

Oh yeah... and pics or stfu.

[ebbomega]

Make plans to make plans over the internet, and then solidify them over the phone. Plain and simple.

Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be.

[dj_soo]

ah the complexities of dating in the 21st century.