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Jul 23, 03
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no close friends near by...
lately I've been stressing out.. harsh.. I just can't handle my home situation really.. theres way too much drama.. and my boss doesn't seem to like me because I'm a girl.. I have to work with the creepy guy named dave.. and so.. on and so on.. [really dont wanna talk about that]
but yeah... i've been sorta wanting to just get thing out.. and just have a friend to listen... sure I can do that by phone.. but really.. its not the same as in person to me.. cause way more can be expressed in person. But all my close friends are soooo far from me and I'm so far from them.. But really.. if I think about it.. if I were to tell them what was/is bothering.. I just keep thinkin to myself.. they probably don't care, so why am I even bothering.. Seems as if I can be there for my friends whenever.. but for it to be the other way around just isn't possible.. sorta.. I don't mind being there for them.. but I would like the same thing in return sorta... it's kinda like questioning who are your actual friends and who can and can't you turn to and so on.. I'm questioning everything... that has to do with friends really.. at the moment actually.. I'm thinkin none of them are actually true friends. just people I know and tend to hang out with now and then. I'm sure some poeple are gonna be like 'wut are you talkigng about your my friends!' but really.. are we? let alone.. I have trust issues.. so that fucks more shit up then needed... I really dont know wut to do.. I'm lost.. and rather alone. [now I'm just gonna wait till I regret posting this...] 
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Jul 23, 03
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i know exactly what u mean. one christmas break, a couple years ago, i didnt see or talk to any of my friends for the whole two weeks. by the end i had convinced myslef they all hated me. i'm still a little sketchy about some of them.
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Jul 23, 03
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Jovi I know exactly how u feel. Although your quite lunky. You have friends that are far away. I at times dont even have that.
Cheer up hun. I hope things get better for you and everything. Im always here if you want to talk and everything
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Jul 23, 03
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its good to questions your friendships, and sometimes when your goin through bad times it is indeed the best time to question friendships - clean up all the bad ones, throw out the crappy ones, and be really happy about the good ones.
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Jul 24, 03
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i think sometimes people just dont know how to be a good friend? i know i dont know how to be a very good friend cuz ive spent more time guarding myself from people then building good friendships. im sorry you feel like that, you deserve too feel very differantly i know that much. i think your friends probably care about you a lot more then you know.
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Jul 24, 03
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im going to come save you this weekend casue i finally have a car again...well i gotta go pick her up soon.
i've been dying without seeing you jnetter. you know im here for you, i always will be, i know the phone doesnt do justice in these kind of situations...but i still want you to know im totally here for you. and yes grrr to us living so far apart. i will SEE you very very soon!
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Jul 25, 03
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JOV'S WE'RE FUCKING HOOKING UP AND SHARE STORIES AND TEARS AND LAUGHTERS.. enough is enough.. you know too much about me and i need someone here for me...and i promise i can be there for you and your shitty life as well. call me you bitchin lil girl.
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Jul 25, 03
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you're soundin a little stressed jovi.
i'd recommend goin out and bogin a couple joints, but seein as how you havn't been converted yet... i'd recommend some k instead. you know, that or what normal people do and go out and grab a beer or coffee or some kinky shit like that. just lettin ya know you got 2 ears if ya need em. smile :)
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Jul 25, 03
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well i kinda doubt ur close friend(s) are out of province ...cuz mine is. Hop on a bus hop on the sky train do sumthing atleast u can :toasted: I have to hop on a plane or a grey hound!as baaaaaaaad as u think it is.. things could be a million times worse,be thankful for what you have and dont dwell on ur misfortunes, cuz the more u dwell on them the larger they seem to appear and then you get more overwhelmed AND BAM! Nervous break down before the age of 20!
:smoke1:
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Jul 25, 03
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I was going to comment that you and Bev are going through similar times in your lives, judging from the posts at least :P
Jovi, you have to put a bit more faith in your friends sometimes. I'm sure you have some reasons as to why you would feel a bit of doubt in your friendships. And I know they probably don't show you that they care 24/7, but generally I think they do. People don't tend to show such emotions unless they have to, it's just the way it's always been, most people are mellow until "pressure" is put upon them. But hey, if they're really your friends, then they'll stick by you... if you let them. It's hard to really understand and comfort someone who is unwilling, or if you don't know there is a problem. You can't expect them to know that you're feeling down if you don't say anything, especially if they're far away. You seem a bit reserved, and like I said to Bev, people may just think that you don't need anyone, but if you don't tell them, they're just left to assume. Here's a question: What do you consider to be "true" friends?
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Jul 25, 03
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^^you are totally right.. cheryl, jovi and i are goin through the exact same shits...strangly we all just graduated. its an after graduation disease i tell ya.
true friend? -someone who doesn't judge, but is very good at excepting -trustworthy -there when needed...either an ear or shoulder or even as a towel -common interests -able to forgive and forget ...sorry i wouldn't know..never really had one.
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Jul 26, 03
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I can relate with you. I live like about an hour distance by bus/c-trian from downtown...but only like 10 mins by car...Im not really far from downtown calgary....at all. But without a car..its a fucken pain in the ass..and 99% of my friends don't have cars...and I dont have a car...and its like ahh..it sucks.
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Jul 26, 03
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Bev, ya know I'm here.. of course.. I'm sure we can do that.. but fuck.. I dunno... its my rather hatting to bother ppl with my shyte.
Max, yeh.. no drug.. but then again.. i drink every day.. :soak: ears can be could.. but I've sorta been typin a bit Godessa, I know.. just I dont have the bus fare to go out anywhere cause my job is likin ass atm... haven't worked in 2 weeks.. yay for an imcompitent boss! leslie, a true friend. I wouldnt know. I dont have any... atleast anyone that I could have thought was a true friend.. has foxor me over atleast once. But I guess.. I could say.. they would have no judgement on my actions, honest, trustworthy, be there, I dunno.....
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Jul 27, 03
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Jovi you must realize that whereas someone can be a good/great friends, they are prone to fuck up once in a while. You can't honestly say that you've never "fucked up" being a friend before. Perhaps since of previous let downs have lead you to your highered expecations, but you can't always put these limitations to your friends now. I mean, someone else's fuck up shouldn't affect everyone, it's hard, but you must realize that not everyone is out to get you.
Going through life shutting off opportunities for social interaction just deminishes your chances of finding a meaningful friendship/relationship. Granted, there could be people out there willing to jump over hoops and go through insane obstacle courses to win over your friendship, but that's rare in such a society like ours. Then again, like I said to Bev, sometimes an escape from your current friends is all you need, start little, build up, trust takes time, if you, yourself can't take the time to establish a strong foundation for the friendships, then you should rethink your strategies in going about friendships... I mean you can't go about life expecting everyone to come to you, sometimes they just don't know or they're waiting for you... How silly does it look, two good friends, wanting to hang out but being too big of pussies to call one another. BTW: It's aparent from the thread that you do have friends that care about you, or at least seem to be a bit offended when you said that you have no true friends.
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Jul 27, 03
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I hear wut your saying leslie, I'm aware that people fuck up but when they stab you in the back and shit.. thats diffrent in my opinion.
I know I can do the same.. I've done it once theres no excuse for it tho I was at an all time low at that times due to recent events we wont discuss. I guess you can say the main factor in this is insecurity.. and I cant help it.. I dunno.. [cant believe I let that out] I know I need to get away but cant.. I'm broke and shit.. also I didnt intend to insult my friends.. this is just how I feel and think.. I cant help it.. I'll be honest and say it. if they have a problem wit it then they can talk tome about it.
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Jul 29, 03
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Ur my best friend, so obviously I view you as a true friend! It really sux that I have to work like 5 days a week cuz we never get to chill together anymore. You really should move back to the ditch so we can wander at all hours and share stories (but then again who would want to live here) Geez, will we ever win? :keebler:
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Jul 30, 03
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Thanx nick..
I know ur my best friend soon.. but yer far and I dont blame ya for working we all need the money and I'm far from you and sooooooo on.. it really sucks.. I dunno.. I'm so confussed and lost right now.. I dunno anything.. fawk. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo lost blah anyone wanna adopt moi for a bit? haha
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Jul 31, 03
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you're a close friend of mine trust me, and about 4 minutes after i left your house last nite i really wished i had told you that....what a fucked nite....if im ever shy again about saying i consider you a good friend just kick me or plow into me 80 km hour i aparently can take it
Last edited by cinist; Jul 31, 03 at 08:56 AM.
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Aug 01, 03
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blah... I'm so fucking glad your fine from last night.. yer da shit!!holy fuck.. never did I expect a wake up call like that.
man.. if I could have one on one talks wit friends right now I could tell em wut I think or feel.. blah.. FUCK!!
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Aug 01, 03
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ya sorry about waking you up and shit. my mom saw her car today and now she is being so nice, i think she realizes i am lucky.
i got mad luv for ya ji dub, i just come off as sarcastic and annoying a lot cuz otherwise i couldnt say it...
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Aug 01, 03
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j-dub, why ya got to be hatin'? j/k!
whenever life gets ya down, just know that ya got a shitload of people all around you that deeply care about you and love you, and that will never go away, ya know why? ....... BECAUSE YOUR J'NETTE!!! :sixpak: and you can't be anyone else, and none of use would want you to be anyone besides you!!! wOOt to tha power of three!!! :smoke1:
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Aug 02, 03
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I kinda take a lil offense to that whole "true friend" thing there kid. I agree with stabby though... we all fuck up... no one's perfect. I've fucked up... you've fucked up... I'm sure somewhere along the line we've even fucked up together but you're still an incredibly good friend of mine and as far as I know we've forgiven each other for anything that's ever gotten slightly fucked up or confusing. You know I love you n time and again I try and drill it into your head I'm here whenever you need anything.
Just pick up the phone when you need to you tard... I know it's not the same but you know I always stop everything I'm doing to talk to you and help you deal with shit. *messes up netters hair* Don't be a goof!
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