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Aug 03, 01
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Breaking a Heart
Has anybody been in a relationship where there gf/bf was totally in love with them but they didn't feel the same way back? I'm in that situation and it feels like I'm lying to myself by staying with them....it seems that pretty much the only reason I stayed with them for the past little while was because of sex....don't get me wrong I do care about this person a lot ....I mean there is no way I couldn't because she has played a big role in my life both as a friend and as a lover...
A little question I have is what would u do if u were in my position...stay with the person that u don't love but loves u? or break it off and move on....and if your answer would be to break it off how so? slowly first by seeing each other and then breakin it off or just by breaking it totally off??????? 
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Aug 04, 01
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break it off.
sooner or later they'll try and make you feel guilty that YOU DONT LOVE THEM back. and since you already stated that you dont love her.. maybe its better to not play along and give her false hope or she might turn into one of those psycho ex gfs that stalk you and try to poison any woman near you and alas killing you then herself and swearing that "we are meant to bee!!! we will DIEEEEEE togetether!!!" k.. so ive been watching a lil bit of screwed up shows lately.. im calm..
GOOD IDEA: i guess since im guessing you guys see each other often.. and that you guys seem like you're bestfriends.. then stop hanging out for a while and make things more friendbased... i know it;ll be tempting to rip her clothes off and make SWEET SWEEEEET LOVIN' to her all night long... or the span of 3 min.. but still. gotta control yourself.. and her. dont want things to lag on do ya? and itll probably destroy your chance of any friendship you can have with her in the future. hang out in groups and not just so solo.. CRAZY STABBY IDEA: go for her bestfriend. she'll hate you for it. slap you. you'll come off as a jerk. she'll avoid you. you go to college and become a frat boi mac daddy and get all the chicks and meet her later on in life with your wife and they fight in a mud pit and then end up having mad sex together and you join in. and then they start to learn how to use dildos, strap ons and whatnots and become more skilled at it than you. and leave you and have a healthy sex filled lesbian lifestyle while you stalk and watch through the window in a high up oak tree. :Kam: errrrr.. im not much of a help.. bleh. QUESTION: how do you know you dont love her? and if you cant stand to see her with someone else.. then thats a lil too bad.. cant have them all.. cant let them down.. then treat them good and keep them. dont hang on to something you really dont want.. cuz there are probably others that would treat her better and give her what she wants/needs. .stabitout.
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Aug 04, 01
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Do what you may
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but you have to question yourself first the reason that you don't really want to break it off. is it really that you don't love her? and you don't want to hurt her feelings? if you didn't love her, then you wouldn't really care if you broke it off. and wonder how she would deal. you would just leave. -bb blabering-
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Aug 04, 01
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Break it off now.
You know that you don't feel the same way about the person so it's going to end eventually. The longer you keep it going the more it will hurt both of you when you end it. If you want to still be good friends with the girl then break it off slowly and gently and tell her exactly how you feel. But if you don't really care then i reccomend breaking it off totally right away. I was sort of in this situation once. We aren't friends anymore but that doesn't really bother me at all. Hope it all works out 4 u!! :)
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Aug 04, 01
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Re: Do what you may
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but y'know? break it off.. if you really do care about her! think about this way.. if you break it off with her now...then it's saving her some pain..and you don't want to see her in pain do you? it's only fair to the both of you.. i mean she has these feelings for you..but u don't feel the same.. if you let her go she can take the time, gt over you and fins omeone else who she'll get all these feelings for her, and who will feel the same about her in return.. it might be hard cuz you so care about her.. but it's not that fair for her.. just explain to her that your situation..it's always best to just cum out with the truth.. maybe you can just see each other..but not be exclusive..ro what not..who knows..discuss it with ehr..she how she feels bout it.. but.. just be sure you don't love her first.. cuz who knows how you'll feel once you actually lose her! (you don't know what you got till it's gone) so take somet iem..think bout things... good luck.. =]
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Aug 05, 01
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Love
I love her a lot when we are being "intimate" and occasionally at other times.... but that's it...I do care for her a lot but I know I don't love her and won't...I don't even really wanna be in any relationship right now let alone a serious one....but thanks for the input girls...
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Aug 05, 01
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dont lead her on.. it hurts a lot to have someone you "love" pretend things are mutual.. you're just betraying everything.. her.. your emotions.. your friendship.. relationship.. yourself.. etc.
there'll always be times where you love her and times that you dont.. you cant love someone 100% but you can also love someone and know they arent right for ya.. that hurts. choose wisely.. sex is easy to come by.. but a good friend these days.. is really really hard to find.. .stabitout.
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Aug 05, 01
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If I punched her..
..in the face she would probably become a lot uglier....and then it would be easier to not make sweet sweet love to her.....GOD Damn why is she so hot!!?!?! I'm a slave to pleasing women.....is that my fault?!?!? I'm weak!!!!
BTW- I would never even consider hitting a female....regardless to the fact that u think it is okay stabby....jk
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Aug 06, 01
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I didn't mean it like that... maybe my post last time was not so nice
well I know beatitfarmer is not a heartless bastard like many guys that I have came in contact with before. If you are unhappy, then why stay in the relationship? it would only make it harder for you to leave if you stay LONGER ANd LONGER. Beat it farmer, if you think she's hot, and the only thing that captures you is her beauty but she doesn't capture your heart compleatly. whats the point. Tell her the truth. Love hurts, Truth hurts. what does love and truth matter if they aren't "real" ?
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Aug 07, 01
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Aug 07, 01
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um, hun?? isn't she on this message board??
i'm sure it would hurt her to read this... or am i wrong?? anyways, do what's in your heart. If you really do not love her enough to share a relationship with her then you are just going to end up hurting her more in the end. You said that you love her when you are intimite and some other times. well, hun, this is impossible. that is called lust. it's a false sense of love and it happens to pretty much everyone. i trust that you do really care about her so i think you should do what's best for both of you and end it now. ya, she probably will be hurt but she'll be even more hurt if you let the relationship carry on. you say she's been an important person as a friend,. this may not be easy or even possible, but try to hold on to that. you care about her and wshe's your friend so that'a the part of your relationship that you should try to keep. good luck hun:) liza
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