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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Jun 22, 04
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Join Date: Apr 2002
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when old freinds drift apart...

man, its been happening to me these days. All my "freinds" of highschool are so not close with me anymore, it sux, we are just so different. The whole time I was away I kept in touch with only a few and it made me realize that these few were my only real freinds after all. One of them I got in a fight with last week and haven't talked to since which is really shitty,but at the same time I don't really care. To be honest I prefer being by myself then hanging out with most of them, I talk to them on the phone mostly cuz I can't even handle being with them which is clearly a bad sign. I MISS MY BEST FRIENDS THAT ARE AWAAAAAY,only 10 more days to go for one!! yay!! I FEEL LONELY!!! cuz another thing with vancouver is its harder to just go out and make new friends than in the UK,I find people here are more judgemental???
Ok, sorry for my rant I'm just confused and lonely!!
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Jun 22, 04
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Join Date: Mar 2004
exotica is an unknown quantity at this point
everyone drifts apart from their friends after highschool. The thing with the people from highschool is you usually only hang out with them because you grew up with them, when you graduate you start meating new people and hanging out with people that are more your type of people. We all have different goals in our lives and friends can sometimes hold us back on acheiving those goals, so we find people that have the same interests and a strong drive to reach their goals to help us move forward in life. Its sad losing a friend ship, but friends come and go. God grants you a certain friend to help you move on in life and when that friend's use is up, you move on and are granted a different friend. Use this time as a growth time to understand more about your self... LOL wow i just rambled... i dunno if any of that made sense... what i'm trying to say is that change always happens, you just gotta look at it in a positive way.
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Jun 22, 04
the bluebus is calling us
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
DJ Ponz is an unknown quantity at this point
I see my highschool buds from White Rock maybe twice a year, but when we do get together, we have a *good* time. I think its totally healthy to drift from these people, but its important to matain some sort of contact. These people will actually be there for you when you need it, and I've found that they are more reliable than many passing friends. Don't force it, don't worry about it.
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Jun 22, 04
Crack Is Bad!
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Sariel is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally Posted by exotica
everyone drifts apart from their friends after highschool. The thing with the people from highschool is you usually only hang out with them because you grew up with them, when you graduate you start meating new people and hanging out with people that are more your type of people. We all have different goals in our lives and friends can sometimes hold us back on acheiving those goals, so we find people that have the same interests and a strong drive to reach their goals to help us move forward in life. Its sad losing a friend ship, but friends come and go. God grants you a certain friend to help you move on in life and when that friend's use is up, you move on and are granted a different friend. Use this time as a growth time to understand more about your self... LOL wow i just rambled... i dunno if any of that made sense... what i'm trying to say is that change always happens, you just gotta look at it in a positive way.

Pretty much exactly what I was going to say.
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Jun 22, 04
Mexico April 21st!
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
TipSy is an unknown quantity at this point
aww...well i faded away from 2 of my closest friends..and im still in high school...ppl just tend to grow apart...choose different paths...i enjoy different things then they do..and i tryed to introduce them to new things...but it just wasnt possible...plus i started hanging out with different ppl...who i get along with perfect..but..

..its not like u can plan wat happens between u and ur friends..ppl always think that they'll stay friends with the same person forever...well sometimes thats true...but in other cases its not..

i douno it sucks that i lost that friendship..but i guess i'v gained another...i guess its jus sad how things turned out..

but i know that the 2 gurls and the memories we shared..i'll never be able to forget em...
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
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Join Date: Apr 2002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exotica
everyone drifts apart from their friends after highschool. The thing with the people from highschool is you usually only hang out with them because you grew up with them, when you graduate you start meating new people and hanging out with people that are more your type of people. We all have different goals in our lives and friends can sometimes hold us back on acheiving those goals, so we find people that have the same interests and a strong drive to reach their goals to help us move forward in life. Its sad losing a friend ship, but friends come and go. God grants you a certain friend to help you move on in life and when that friend's use is up, you move on and are granted a different friend. Use this time as a growth time to understand more about your self... LOL wow i just rambled... i dunno if any of that made sense... what i'm trying to say is that change always happens, you just gotta look at it in a positive way.

yah I pretty much knew it was gonna happen, kinda even before school ended last year but its still sad!
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
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Join Date: Oct 2003
tested01 is an unknown quantity at this point
always with the negetive posts.woah.
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Ever666
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Clayton. has a spectacular aura aboutClayton. has a spectacular aura aboutClayton. has a spectacular aura about
I've drifted away from some old freinds from high school. Drifted away from my old skater crew when i started partying but i didn't care much. Most of my freinds i've known for a long time and will know for a long time to come, except for a few that are destroying themselves with drugs. And i have another freind who has bin a freind for a long time that i drifted from but mainly cause i didn't get along with his girlfreind.
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
The Mastermind
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Dj G-Style has a little shameless behaviour in the past
I used to have many associates in school but found out that only a few true friends. It really makes you cherish the real friends which is a good thing.
G
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Ever666
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Clayton. has a spectacular aura aboutClayton. has a spectacular aura aboutClayton. has a spectacular aura about
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dj G-Style
I used to have many associates in school but found out that only a few true friends. It really makes you cherish the real friends which is a good thing.
G
I agree.
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Registered
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
tested01 is an unknown quantity at this point
i had lotsa friends in highschool, then left that shithole and left all those friends that we're pretty much just on my nuts behind too.

realize who your true friends are early, dont waste your time on people that just wanna spoon your ass and cherish the real ones best.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
kickitliketae-bo
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Ragga_Wh0re will become famous soon enoughRagga_Wh0re will become famous soon enough
I totally know how your feeling, but as for making friends in van...its fucking easy! Ever since i moved out of abby 2 and a half years ago Ive made tonnes of friends,everywhere i go I meet new people. I havent found any of the people I have met to be judgemental.

Perhaps you only meet judgemental people because you are judgemental yourself.
Change your mind frame and think outside the box,people may look different,act different,and be into different scenes tthan you...but you shouldnt let this be a barrier. Look past differences,once you start doing that you`ll start many new relationships with people whom you normally wouldnt give the time of day.

:)
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
The Orginal Trance Addict
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
trance4life is an unknown quantity at this point
i cut off all ties from highschool, isn't not so bad
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Ever666
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Clayton. has a spectacular aura aboutClayton. has a spectacular aura aboutClayton. has a spectacular aura about
Quote:
Originally Posted by tested01
i had lotsa friends in highschool, then left that shithole and left all those friends that we're pretty much just on my nuts behind too.

realize who your true friends are early, dont waste your time on people that just wanna spoon your ass and cherish the real ones best.
Why the fuck would anybody be on your nuts? must of bin some really hurting kids.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Crack Is Bad!
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Sariel is an unknown quantity at this point
I've drifted apart from most of the people that used to be in my life. Ever since I moved to Nanaimo, I have lost contact with most of my friends from Victoria. Time brings distance, and unless you have a lot of contact with someone, you are going to drift apart. It sucks, but it happens.

And unfortunatly, most of us don't have the time to have constant contact with everyone in our lives. Work, family, life in general tend to interfere with friendships.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Gravity Slave
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
MC Hammered has a spectacular aura aboutMC Hammered has a spectacular aura about
This might sound cold but you will realize that whether or not certain people are your friends or not will not change the outcome of your life.

So leave them behind and move on.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Mexico April 21st!
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
TipSy is an unknown quantity at this point
^^ i guess thats true in a way

for some ppl its hard letting ago of a close friend.. i guess theres no way of stopping something like this from happening...its jus wat life brings us..
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Future_Raver_J is an unknown quantity at this point
I Hope This Is Not True!

I am not really liking this thread. Reason is I have one of my best friends who is probally going to move up to Kamloops in a few months. He might be coming back, he might not. Now we live in Nanaimo now. So its about a 6hr drive away.

I read this post with all your comments about how if one friend leaves, your bound to loose that friendship with that person. Because of the long distance, or becasue of other things that are going on in one another's lives. That the friendship will not last. So I got all upset reading this and thinking its going to be true.

So I talked to him about it today. And stuff. And he tells me not to worry that it would never happen. That were still going to talk on the phone, email, hang out once in awhile. If I ever needed him for anything he would be back down here in a second. And I would even do the same for him. He even made me an uncle to his baby that is coming in September. So thats got to say somein right?

I don't know I am a little confused I guess. I trust him and belive what he says. But have never gone threw losing a friend before. So I don't really know what to expect. And your guy's answers saying that there is no hope and that it will end just makes me more upset. Anyway done ranting now.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
....spiney?
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
tahiti__treat is an unknown quantity at this point
my group has been together since gr9 in highskool... we've also been driftin apart because ppl hav work, bfs, school etc. My best friend told me yesterday that shes not my best friend ne more(kinda childish to say such a thing) and shes like ur hanging out with a bad crowd "ravers" ... this really pissed me off cuz i nevr was able to be myself around her! honestly i dont really like rap music or wanna be thugs like she does.. n it took me a while to actually say these things to her and because im not like her she thinks im ruining my life! bahh i guess wut i wrote has little to do with this topic but it was jus pissing me off and kinda helps to write it out :) thanx for reading
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Living in the NOW
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Bobby_T is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally Posted by Future_Raver_J
I am not really liking this thread. Reason is I have one of my best friends who is probally going to move up to Kamloops in a few months. He might be coming back, he might not. Now we live in Nanaimo now. So its about a 6hr drive away.

I read this post with all your comments about how if one friend leaves, your bound to loose that friendship with that person. Because of the long distance, or becasue of other things that are going on in one another's lives. That the friendship will not last. So I got all upset reading this and thinking its going to be true.

So I talked to him about it today. And stuff. And he tells me not to worry that it would never happen. That were still going to talk on the phone, email, hang out once in awhile. If I ever needed him for anything he would be back down here in a second. And I would even do the same for him. He even made me an uncle to his baby that is coming in September. So thats got to say somein right?

I don't know I am a little confused I guess. I trust him and belive what he says. But have never gone threw losing a friend before. So I don't really know what to expect. And your guy's answers saying that there is no hope and that it will end just makes me more upset. Anyway done ranting now.

He "made" you an uncle? How the hell does that work?

I was under the impression you had to be his brother to be an uncle to his child. You are breaking the rules mister!
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Registered
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Future_Raver_J is an unknown quantity at this point
Well not an official uncle. But an uncle figure I guess. But technically I am not really the babies uncle. But still one of my other best friend has a baby. She is 24 her baby is 3. And I am considered her uncle. Just cause her and I have been friends for so long. Were like family. Same with my friend who is moving up to Kamloops I guess. Were really good friends so were like family. It's the thought that counts anyway.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Jun 23, 04
Mexico April 21st!
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
TipSy is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally Posted by tahiti__treat
my group has been together since gr9 in highskool... we've also been driftin apart because ppl hav work, bfs, school etc. My best friend told me yesterday that shes not my best friend ne more(kinda childish to say such a thing) and shes like ur hanging out with a bad crowd "ravers" ... this really pissed me off cuz i nevr was able to be myself around her! honestly i dont really like rap music or wanna be thugs like she does.. n it took me a while to actually say these things to her and because im not like her she thinks im ruining my life! bahh i guess wut i wrote has little to do with this topic but it was jus pissing me off and kinda helps to write it out :) thanx for reading

that exact thing happened to me! wow... Yeah i could never feel that comfortable around her..i couldnt be myself..and she was all about the whole rap and thug thing..and really thats not my style..then she bitched about me raving and shit.. and that totally pissed me off cuz i never bitched once about her style.. well as of now were not friends anymore... but i cant say our friendship was horrible cuz we still had alotta good times together..but for now...we jus dont agree on our life situations ...i guess thats wat grew us apart
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old Jun 24, 04
flick ma bean
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Kelster is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally Posted by Courtney
cuz another thing with vancouver is its harder to just go out and make new friends than in the UK,I find people here are more judgemental???
i dunno bout that.

you're kinda snobby, not that i dislike it, but i'm sure you scare a lot of potential friends off.

friends come and go. find something/a hobby that doesn't involve people to occupy your time between finding new friends.

i'd be your friend if you didn't live in north van :D
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old Jun 24, 04
break dance, not hearts
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
bebu*funfun will become famous soon enough
hey courtney i totally know wut u mean.. i think because of this i have already developed a fear in gettin close to ppl. because i KNOW eventually they'll drift away...it has happened to pretty much every person i put my gaurds down with. either a girlfriend comes along or they just get "bored" of me.. oh well right? just be careful in who u become close with. hopefully they'll be worth ure time.. like winston said.. the ones who drift aren't worthy to be ure friend.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old Jun 24, 04
femme fatale
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Jingles is on a distinguished road
wow.
people do come and go in your life - and some people will be there for it all. Like family, i have a close group of girlfriends, we have been tight since i was like 10, 15 years later and we are the same core group we have always been

sure other ladies come and go - and i will always love them, but sometimes we are close to people who fit in with a paticular time in life, and then we change and they do not - or they do but it is a different direction. Friendships are like relationships that way. Most of the time, your boyfriend from highschool will not end up being your husband
But there are those rare beings out there that you truly connect with and they will be there forever
even if you drift apart, if they are a real friend - when you see them again it will be as though no time passed at all
real friends are a part of your soul, spirit (whatever you like to call that core being that makes you - you )

Distance has very little to do with love, other then that it can get trying
if you maintain the distance, you are right, they will drift from daily life, but if they were really your friend, when the distance is removed you would likely be able ot fall right back into pace

One of my closest girlfriends has been away for almost 2 years - I love her very much still - though she doesn't know all the comings andgoings of my current life, she knows me, my beliefs, my dreams and my values -- and even if i didn't see her for a decade - those things may change some, but she will always know the real me
it's a rare gift to find it
and in highschool i think we are more concerned with quanity of people, and keeping ourselves distracted - whereas in adulthood , quality of relationships matters more

Anyway - my rambling leads to this, sometimes a person isn't meant to share a moment wth you - we are not stagnant beings, we are ever evolving, in ourselves and our relationships with the people that surorund us - sometimes experience separates us, but it doesn't nulify the experiences you had with them, or the love you once shared -- it just means that your time has passed for the moment
Sometimes we long for things and relationships to be the way they once were, and that can leave us feeling sad
but you are at a point of major change in your life - there are good things on the horizon, but not everyone can come with!
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