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Jan 03, 02
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Why is it ok that everyone always hurts me?
OMG .... I'm so upset ... i don't even know if that is the right word to even use. This whole week ... wait no, this whole month has be one big shit feast for me ... and it only seems to get worse.
I don't even know where to start .... what's the point to even tell .... it has already happened to me ... And now the only person that i thought that i could talk too , decides to lay a guilt trip on me ... Fuck i'm fuckng sorry for not going to newyears w/ u .... what ?! Do u want to know that i had the worst time in my life on new years and i wish i would have stayed in coquitlam ( so that u feel better about ur self) .... or should i tell u that i had the best time in my life ( but then that way u could make me feel bad for going). But of course u just continue going on about how i'm such a bad person and best friend because i never make time ... Hey fuck newsflash, i don't live in Vancouver anymore ... and it's kinda hard to meet up everytime we decide to meet , because it always seems to be in Vancouver! i thought that this newyears was going to be a something that i needed .... i thought that i could leave my x-boyfriend behide , that my days w/ drugs were over, that Bryce was the one for me , and that i knew who my friends were. i think this hurt me so badly because for the last month everyday it seems that someone phones me and hurts me .... i just can't take this ... i try putting on a strong front , but now little things i just can't handle ... everyone close to me isn't even there for me but instead is agaisnt me ... and for some reason i don't even care anymore 
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Jan 03, 02
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ack..glenda...i sorta know how it feels in the weirdest way...cuz stuff for me with friendships has been all wonky lately..with drugs...haha..u know me..and with guys..hafta tell u about sumthing happening saturday~..lalala..and i'm not against u..sorry if i was a bitch to u on new years day..i was such a lazy ass and thinking myself to death..sorry..and i'm not against u for any reason..ok?..just thought i'd let u know that...cuz i hold the scissors and u don't!..luv ya~..ttyl..!!:384:
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Jan 03, 02
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you know what you do?
you smash those fuckers faces in.. so they KNOW they shouldnt mess with you. :310: lost soul_
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Jan 03, 02
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ain't no pms gonna get me down...
*sigh*
I've been really emotional lately due to pms... and I went crying to my friend on the phone and lay crying to myself so much this week, and now that I got my rag I feel major guilt for relying on one of my friends.. but I gotta say she's been awesome for sticking by me ;) I'm all weepy dammit... --------------------------------------------------- anyways.. glenda, hang in there... some things do suck, but sometimes all you need is some time to yourself, think things through before you act... Give it time, and do what's best for you.... (meaning that you consider how it affects other too) and what I'm saying is probably all shit that you've heard and know for yourself, but sometimes we all need a reminder of things we already know... I've got some shit to work out with couple of people right now, but it really took me some time to realize that all in all, even though these problems have risen, my life is at a great point right now, and the challenge is in trying to resolve these minor glitches givin it patience and time... I also realize, and I'm sure you will too, that I do have friends and people in my life that are willing to help me through. Even though there's a limit to what they can do, (because in the end it is your problem, and not theirs) the thought that you still have friends that are willing to make that effort, is kind of comforting. or at least for me.... I'm known for my outbursts of bad attitudes, so let me tell ya that I know... this for a fact..: calm down before you speak ;) calm down before you make any major decisions.... make sure you know it's realy what you want, not just an act of revenge to hurt them just to give'em a taste of their own medicine.. because now I'm regrettin something I just did today and it's time for me to go and see what I can do about it... *sigh* some body please wish me luck... goodnight,
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Jan 03, 02
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Quote:
oh i feel so much better, i made a shit-load of phone calls today ... and i did alot of bitching but also alot of listening and i feel much better .... gosh there is so much shit going on right now but i just want to deal w/ everything that i still have a little power over ... and everything else i just have to let it flow. mmmm ... there is something really wrong w/ me .... i'm not my blunt self anymore ... fuck i just don't care ... and i hate it because now everyone is walking all over me. *sigh* maybe i should do some ass kicking. Last edited by Glendita*; Jan 03, 02 at 10:36 PM.
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Jan 03, 02
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^^^
ass kicking could solve the prolbem... but i think you need to sit downa nd have a heart to heart.. WITH YOURSELF... and figure out what it si you actually should/want to/need to do, and blend all those together..t hen do it its time to take action yo.. dont let motherfuckers walk all over you becasuse you dont deserve it.. seriously.. doormat = bad... ser4siously :310: lost soul_
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Jan 07, 02
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~hugz~
damn gurl!!! wish you have told me earlier! whats going on?! i hope its nothin that we've done to you? glenda u know we are here to talk to. just let it all out.....we can take it! we don't stomp all over you because we're too afraid too!! u might actually beat us up?!! hee hee kidding
just let me know whats goin on and for sure i'll help you out ok? u've helped me so i'm helping u now......if you want my help.......? well u know i'm here for you ok? wish you all the best!! we'll go for coffee and hmmm......ice cream? hahahhah maybe just a little too cold......u think? it was an idea so i'll give you a big big BIG hug tomolo otay?! luv ya and don't let ppl step all over you...........
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Jan 07, 02
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I think a lot of people become angry but they never know how to deal with it. People end up hibernating their feelings and only when something important happens, they let these feelings go like a flood gate. I advise writing about how you're feeling and continue writing, whatever comes to your head, and sooner or later, you'll start writing down things you never thought you felt... It works for me.
also why don't you just try taking a sebatical from life and maybe then you'll might able to realise what's wrong. It helped me out. and another bit of advice, if your friends treat you poorly, they aren't your friends. sometimes that's the hardest thing to realise.
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Jan 07, 02
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whoah i got bad karma for this post.. funny shit.
alright, what i think you should just do is let everyone know that your NOT their doormat.. NO WAY nuh uh. because i mean, hey who likes taking other peoples bullshit? not i, said the bear.. or whatever it was. but yeah, just stick up for yourself and remind yourself that YES you are worth it :) dont let anyone get you down.. if someone says something bitchy.. just be like "meh, they know nothing." if its just a comment to get you down. if its something serious that you do need to consider, well then think about it but calmly.. just dont take peoples bullshit, thats what it comes down to. lost soul_
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Jan 07, 02
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oh thanks guys
But i'm gald to report that i'm slowing getting back to my BLUNT self .... finally .... but i know it isn't cool to let ppl walk all over u ... because if u do that for little things ... ppl are going to think ur a big pussy and not take u seriously.
oh wut da?! u guys got bad Karma for u reply ... well i know i gae u guys good karma .... i think .... mmm knowing me i pressed the wrong button ... but i don't i think i did but from now on no more taking shit .... :293:
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Jan 08, 02
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Re: oh thanks guys
Quote:
i mean one of us has gotta be tough.. cuz we all know i'm the pushover~ and yeah..i do like ur bluntness.. cuz its wut u truthfully think.. nehoo..catch ya later~ :288:
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Jan 08, 02
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Glenda
. I'm glad as I scrolled down this section that you would be better
but if you have any doubts just call me hehehe or call trevor! hahaha just think the most important person in this world is yourself.. you make things happen, therefore you hold change and structure of how things go. reveal yourself to people, have fun.. say what's on your mind cause if you hold back you'll feel like somethings bugging you cause you haven't gotten it off your chest but talk to me if you need anyone to talk to .. hehe
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Jan 09, 02
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sorry :Power-P:
got ED MM
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