How does one deal with death?

[qtsylv]

My close friend just passed away on the morning of January 2nd. His body was found burned to death. I've never had anyone so close to me die and I don't know how to deal with it. I keep thinking that I'll see him or hear from him or get a msg from him on icq and when I realize that I won't...I break down. I'll never get to see him again. They burned his body and I won't see his face again. How could they do that?
I won't be responding but would like some advice.

[Anjew]

Wht I did when my grandpa died was i just locked myself away from everyone and stayed in my room and wrote 17 page letter sayin all the stuff i wanted to say... all the things i wanted to do... ll th things i apologized for ... there were many tears but it had to be done.... after I completed it i read it over and i felt a sence of being a bit relieved. It's now locked inmy drawer along with many othr heartfelt journals

Best of luck to you

[stabmyhead]

i try to numb myself from the rest of the world so i begin to not care if those around me or myself died, but i guess that really isnt much help nor is it really "healthy"...

err... there's really nothing you can do about it now, cuz you cant bring him back, maybe get a psychic to communicate through... (im serious!) they might not be that honest or trustworthy or even possess any powers.. but its peace of mind and it'll make you feel like you actually tried.

good luck!

[spike]

I had a difficult time dealing with the death of my dad when i was 13.. I was a afraid that because i was never going to see his face or hear his voice I would forget him as i grew older. As time went on, i learned to accept that death is just as much a part of life is as is birth, that no matter where a person is, whether you can or cannot speak to them or hear them, they will always be a part of you if you cared about them. Nine years have gone by since my father passed away, and i still have many questions i wish i could ask him, but i find great strength and courage in knowing that he'll always be a part of my character and the time and memories that we had together can never be taken from me, not even by death. I wish you all the best in your time of sorrow.

Hamel
20800755

[Wellbelove#1]

Let your self feel how ever you want for awhile, then try to move on.
What realy hepled me was thanking so much for getting all the time i had to get to know the person and the great memories ill always have with them. It can alsow teach us a lesson that we cant take ppl for granted, we never know when there gonna go.

One day you will be reunited, and intill then i think they wish you the best of your life.

[inkster]

I'm guessing this was a homicide...

that makes matters worse. :(

Closure is really the only way to get over such things...

...

I can only offer sympathy, because i have never experienced such a thing like this... :(

][nkster

[ƒORM]

Dealing with any death is often very hard and often confusing situation. I've lost friends along the way due to alcohol (John would died on his way to Whistler), drug overdoses (Rodney Galpin), suicides (in my family including my Cousin Liam & friend Ricky), disease (My Grandma), murder (a friend of mine named JD that was stabbed behind Dairy Queen in New West), and another Grandma from Lou Gehrig's disease. Some of them were predictable but others were very unexpected. You would almost give anything to see that person again and tell them how much you miss them or appreciate them. The other things you wish you could are turning back the clocks of time and changing the course of history. Somehow you might feel responsible knowing that if you were with that person that night maybe nothing would have happened. But maybe if it didn't happen that night it would have happened another night. I believe things happen for a reason and everyone dies sooner or later. Some people are just ripped away from us at the worst time. I know the first thoughts going through your mind are loss and sadness. This will weaken over time. You'll also be experiencing revenge and hatred, especially in this case where it involves a homicide or murder. There may not ever be a way to forgive the perpetrators of this horrific act. The only thing close to closure you will feel is if these felons are put behind bars. Somebody knows something and it's only a matter of time before it leaks out. The next while is going to be very tough for you. Your days will be filled with constant visions of past experiences with this person and you might have the occasional dream about this person. You will be surrounded by people who also feel your loss so It's important to talk and express your feelings openly. Stay with those who feel your pain and work through it together. That's all I can say for now. I really hope your ok when everything settles down. For now just try and be strong and live your life day by day.

My thoughts and heart go out to you and him and everyone who knew him.


~form

FYI
These are some sites that might shed some light on how others are dealing with it.

http://griefnet.org/
http://members.aol.com/GlennS1956/death.html
http://www.teachervision.com/lesson-...sson-6823.html

[~lazee_grrl~]

everyone deals with death differently..but however u cope with it..take ur time..u'll eventually be able to accept it and move on..living with ur friend as a part of u bcuz he is..as long as u remember him and hold him close to ur heart..he's never really that far away..

during this time..i hope ur ok and that u get thru this alrite~

[kiMMie]

Originally posted by qtsylv
My close friend just passed away on the morning of January 2nd. His body was found burned to death. I've never had anyone so close to me die and I don't know how to deal with it. I keep thinking that I'll see him or hear from him or get a msg from him on icq and when I realize that I won't...I break down. I'll never get to see him again. They burned his body and I won't see his face again. How could they do that?
I won't be responding but would like some advice.

My heart goes out to you... he was also an old friend of mine too :043:

I know that it's hard to accept, but try to remember the good times (especially the ones that bring a smile to your face), and he'll live in your heart and memories.

[kiMMie]

Your post made me sad... sad that you had to experience all those events. My heart goes out to you too babe.

It's awful how quickly one can leave this earth. Some slow... some in a blink of an eye. Sometimes one is ready and others are taken by surprise. Nevertheless, it's always leaves people sad and hurt. But we, all of us, finally find the strength deep inside to help us pull ourselves outta of bed every morning and function.

I've been through many losses... some were very, very painful. I'm thankful that I made it, and I'm sure that they're glad that I did.