Cheated on for the second time.....

[xxViceRoyxx]

Ok, I have a story, something that I thought wouldnt go beyond movies or hollywood....
I started a relationship with this girl, she really liked me, or so I would hear from my friends and her friends as well. During the 8th month of the relationship things start to go wrong, she wasnt the same, she started to give me the impression that she hated me, no specific reason, nothing that i had done to annoy her or offend her, towards the end of our 9th month, I saw us heading nowhere but towards the worse, so I break up with her, only to find out that my best friend whom I had known for more than 8 years at the time and considered to be a brother - knew him since i was fucking 6 years old - was fucking around with her for about a month before I broke up with her..........i got traumatized, i mean what the fuck should i be mad about, my gf cheating on me or my best friend whom i considered to be a brother backstabbing me. I stayed away from dating for a few months. I started to get over it little by little, so I decide to start dating again thinking that it would help ease things off, before i knew it I found this girl that i liked, didnt expect anything to happen yet i find myself dating her for about 6 months,my feelings for her were strong and by the 13th month of our relationship i was amazed at how strong my feelings were for her. I did everything for that girl, listened to her, talked to her, never made her feel like she was unappreciated, always taking her shopping and buying her things like a $100 Triple 5 soul pair of pants.....flowers, i would make her food almost everyday, do her dishes for her, do her laundry for her sometimes, fuck I almost never cursed her or lipped her off, i showed her uttermost respect and consideration i fucking loved her.....never flipped out on her.
Towards the 16th she started treating me like shit tho, she got her home phone disconnected so i lent her my cellphone for about a month only to find that she put the fucking $200 cellphone in a washing machine and destroyed it, i let it slide, i cant let $200 over take me and cause me to yell at her, so i call the cellphone company - bell - to try and find a solution, instead i found out that she racked me up a $700 cellphone bill which was great!!, i got the fucking bill, weird numbers everywhere! i confronted her she denied everything. I took it with a grain of salt, she promised that she would pay it all up, then a few days later she promises that she could help but she cant pay all of it, a week later she flips out on me mentioning the fucking cellphone bill infront of her and says that it wasnt her problem! As usual being a dumbshit i didnt do much about it and forgave her again let it slide thinking that money shouldnt come in between me and her..............a few days before valentines day she was stressed out and upset she had some family problems so i comfort her and listen to her talk all about it, i put her head on my shoulders and told her not to worry, that i would always be there for her and would try to help her out by any means possible, i started to caress her hair and kissed her head.....she calmed down a bit, so i tell her that i was gonna take her to a nice romantic dinner to a restaurant on burnaby mountain, Horizon, or since she was so stressed out, i could take her to a spa and help her relax and such! She answers me with total arrogance and inconsideration...."I'ld rather you buy me shoes..." at the end of march i decided that this garbage wasnt going anywhere so i broke up with her, although i still have feelings for her...........today i decide to go through my documents and clean it up, when i find some msn history logs, she always used msn on my computer whenever she had a chance to.......i know it was wrong, i that i shouldnt be doing that but being curious i do it, i read through one log to find nothing but a conversation between her and this friend of hers about how she was seeing this guy behind my back............i felt crushed, that ungreatful bitch, after all that i had done for her....everything she does that to me, i was with her for 2 years almost and she does that to me........i dont understand why that happens to me........i never did anything to desserve such shit i know that this is turning into a rant but i dont know what i should do, should i bother even saying anything or should i just let it go and move on...i know that im young i know that theres a long way ahead of me but with my kinda luck........shit like this makes me feel insecure and makes it impossible for me to go for another relationship without freaking the shit out of the person whom i date....-_-

So FUCKING depressed right now........

[mugsy]

a bitch is a bitch.... just kidding.
honestly confronting her wont do yourself or her any good. it may feel really good to throw it in her face and slander her for awhile, but it will fade and the reality of the situation will prevail.
maybe you're too nice. thats terrible to say isnt it? but sometimes it can be true. ladies like to strive in relationships just like boys do. dont get me wrong, surprise flowers and gifts are always great, but not 100% neccessary. plus the lady can grow a bit dependant on this type of treatment, and this can spark fights and so on if the treatment stops even momentarily.
i donno if im making a big assumption here, but always trying to or always solving her problems not always the best either. we all like to be the damsel in distress sometimes, but other times, its good to hear that the lady needs to handle this one on her own.

the bitter truth: every relationship is a lesson. when you finally figure out what all the lessons are that you learned through all the relationships, your ready for the next.

[Revolver]

wow!, dude i can relate to this story like no other. ive lived it....well sort of.

anyways, the most important thing to consider is the BIG picture. that is your life.....your journey. what can you learn from this?.what can she learn? the toughst mother fucking thing to do with a heavy relationship at this age is to accept the fact that were young and only begun to develop and explore relationships with others.

basically, without all the philosphical shit, theres plenty of fish in the sea. just dont forget the bait wich got her...cause sometimes they'll bite again.

best of luck man.

[Hot Karl]

so lemme see here...

$200-phone
$700-phone bill

and you cooked for her almost daily, you did her laundry for her.

cooking and laundry on a consistent basis? there's being nice and being a good bf, but there's also such thing as being a doormat.

[diesskei]

Dude, stand your fucking ground with the ladies from now on. I know it's nice to treat them and you feel like a man after having done so, but it comes back to fuck you in the end. Dinner here and there, sure... small things... sure. but $900 bills, expensive clothes... here is where I draw the line. Girls like a challenge, or so I've heard. So give them one! Don't do all their shit for them, buy them everything, and clean up after them. That shit is cool once in awhile, but damn, not every day.

[dapimpstress]

That's wack. This pisses me off because there are SO many girls out there who don't bust stupid shit like this. Sounds like the girls you have been dating don't know where their priorities are.

I try to do just as much for my man as he does for me. That's the only way shit can really work out, if everything is equal. We split the cost of everything, I buy my own shit, he buys his own shit, we buy eachother shit occasionally. It's just like, man, iono... girls like that are fucking morons. they all got somethin HELLA better than good, and jus chuck it cuz they are so materialistic and naive.

its a disgrace to the rest of us ladies. im sorry that happened to you man, there aint no excuse for it, and its str8 cold fukd up no matter how you look at it.

take care, you will find someone better than that. or they will find you. you jus had some bad luck there bro, don't lose faith that there are some good hearted women out there. <3 *hugs* ashes

[cheeseburger]

I've been in a really similiar situation. Its scary how similiar

younr confidence and faith in girls wont exist for a while, but you;ll get over it with time

msn me if u wanna have a heart to heart
hang in there

[Gusto]

i had a long response typed out, only to realize that it was the same as most of the other posts in here. been in a similiar situation myself, so i know how you feel. seriously, it sounds like she's a total bitch and you're better off without her. i know that doesn't make it any easier now, but it might when you look back at it later.

[IntakE]

I've been ina situation like that, I found out my bf was still cheating while I was with him tho. He promised to changed and I thought I was in love with him so I gave him a second chance. everything went great for a while. Then his room mate(whom was a good friend of mine at the time) calls me to tell me that he's out at some chick house and he's been there for a few days.
I called him freeking out he tell's me he's breaking up with me cause eh just reconected with some girl he's been in love with since he was like 11.

so it happenes to the best of us
I had to move on with my life and I got my revenge you better fucking belive that.
you'll start to feel better after a while, but think's like this are hard. Ppl shouldn't take other's emotions for granted.

[xxViceRoyxx]

Thank you, i knew i wasnt the only one out there, yes i know i was a doormat for her, yes i know i shouldnt be that nice, but thank you all for everything, no i didnt totally lose my faith in women, but i dunno, its kinda scary cuz i was thnking about that and yea, like ashes said, there are many others out there that are not like that i guess, i take the rotten pick of the apples, other than that this helped i never imagined getting this out of fnk to be honest, but thank you all......feeling a little better, couldnt sleep at all, kept on waking up and yea, looks like today is gonna be one hell of a day.

[LeeBrat]

aww, hun, im so sorry to hear that :( *hugs* thats harsh. i feel your pain tho, almost every relationship i have been in i have been cheated on, or *worse*
but i hope things get better for you and you find someone who will treat you right, im sure theres someone out there for you. good luck:)

[stabmyhead]

I think you're spoiling your girls. Taking them on shopping trips, pampering them, and making sure they don't have to do a thing... You're becoming more like a sugar daddy than a bf and girls just don't give you the same respect. You've got to stand up for yourself or people will view you as the guy that they can just piss all over. You just get taken for granted if you let everything slide.

Sometimes I think when you're "too nice" you fall back into that category of being "THE FRIEND". You know what I'm talking about, the elusive friend that girls go to for advice and to engage in deep conversations with while they get pounded by some asshole prick.

However, it's girls like that who end up losing out in the end because they're going to get fucked over bad, and they'll wonder - "Where did I go wrong? Where are all the nice guys?!" and we'll all be here laughing.

[hardstylin]

start putting it in her hoop, that will straightin the bitch out.

[LeeBrat]

Originally Posted by stabmyhead

I think you're spoiling your girls. Taking them on shopping trips, pampering them, and making sure they don't have to do a thing... You're becoming more like a sugar daddy than a bf and girls just don't give you the same respect. You've got to stand up for yourself or people will view you as the guy that they can just piss all over. You just get taken for granted if you let everything slide.
.

i agree strongly, its one thing to respect and treat a girl nicely, but when you start doing everything for someone at their every wish, it is you who becomes used...theres a fine line between being a nice/good/repectful boyfriend and being pussywhipped.
but like i said, i hope everything works out for the best in the future for you.

Originally Posted by xxViceRoyxx

always taking her shopping and buying her things like a $100 Triple 5 soul pair of pants.....flowers, i would make her food almost everyday, do her dishes for her, do her laundry for her sometimes,

[neoh]

Holy sentence run, Batman.

It's called paragraphs, son.

But on a serious note.. that fucking sucks.

I've never been cheated on, I have never given my women a reason to cheat on me.
You need to find what you're missing and do it so these women stop fucking other men.

[xxViceRoyxx]

I tried too hard to make her feel better, i tried too hard to make her feel like she dont need nothing, but i forgot to make her feel that she needs me, i was too nice to her, she took it for granted, now i suffer the consiquences......i was a doormat i guess.

Edit: i didnt have to do all that stuff, but i did and she got used to me doing it....too much of anything is a bad thing.

[Carrie]

*internethug*

girls like that give the good ones a bad name!

I don't believe in disrespecting others and their property.
I don't believe in cheating, if someone wanta to sleep with someone else, then they should break up with the person they're with.

[Goat]

start putting it in her hoop, that will straightin the bitch out.

Listen to this man!

ps: Slap the shit out of her.

[axion]

fuck her, man. the best thing you can do to get back at her is to forget about it and pretend like it never happened. by the sounds of it, you got cheated on because you were smothering her. for most people, too much affection says that you are needy and desperate. if you were to forget about her right away and move on, she will almost for sure come crawling back. when that happens, kick her ass to the curb.

[dj_soo]

Originally Posted by xxViceRoyxx

I tried too hard to make her feel better, i tried too hard to make her feel like she dont need nothing, but i forgot to make her feel that she needs me, i was too nice to her, she took it for granted, now i suffer the consiquences......i was a doormat i guess.

Edit: i didnt have to do all that stuff, but i did and she got used to me doing it....too much of anything is a bad thing.

yes, you were a doormat, but she's still a bitch. If she was bored of you she should have had the common courtesy to dump you before sleeping with other guys.

[mojo]

ouch.

i can sorta say i understand the feeling, not with the cheating aspect though. i wish you the best man. dont forget that eventually you will look back on this experience grateful for the knowledge you learned, and laugh about it. hopefully.

keep your chin up.

[decypher]

A nice girl would have told you that you shouldn't buy all that crap for her. As nice as receiving things are, any nice girl wouldn't be all gung-ho about you paying a 900 dollar bill unless she was paying you back. Steer clear of those types of girls that use you. I know where your coming from though, i hate immature girls who aren't sure what they want. (yes yes i know the same can be said for certain guys)

[Kandyapple]

Originally Posted by hardstylin

start putting it in her hoop, that will straightin the bitch out.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

But yah like everyone else said. It's really about keeping the relationship equal. If your paying for everything and doing all the work, then people will take advantage of it. It even happens in relationships where people are not out to gain from the other. But sometimes people will fall into a routine. But it does not justify cheating on someone.
All the things you said you have done seem wonderful. You should not feel bad that you treated her well. But you must moderate how over board you go, as I'm sure you are aware. I'm sure you can look for signs now. Look for a girl that will hold her own. Cleans up after herself, pays her own way. And from time to time treat her. And let her treat you.
I know how good it can feel to think your doing so much for the other person. But if they are not appreciating you for all that you do, and not reciprocating. Then you should start re evaluating your current relationship.

Good luck in the future and remember to learn from these unfortunate moments, and don't let them hold you back.

[miss.myra]

2nd time? should have cut it off at 1st time.

[yoko*]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

2nd time? should have cut it off at 1st time.

I think he's talking about two different people, two consecutive relationships..
------
I feel for you, it's too bad you put your heart into something and got stepped all over.. At the same time, you may have set yourself up to some degree to be stepped on. 700$ cell phone bill? That's brutal.

bah, some relationships are such a waste of money! :P