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Mar 30, 02
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~loss of a best friend~
what do you do when one of your best friends since you both were young, just lost touch? like you don't seem to talk as much anymore or see each other as often. you were friends when you first were able to walk and now 17 years later both of you guys just split?
i don't really need help or advice, i just need some comfort i guess?? i just don't like that feeling of losing a friend and a best friend at that. i feel so bad like i did something wrong but i didn't. *sigh* this isn' a good feeling...... 
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Mar 30, 02
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the hardest thing about friendship is letting go..cuz sumtimes..that's all we can do..accept the fact that u've drifted..but don't give up on the friendship entirely...you could try to spend more time with them..or just make sure they know that u'll always be there for them..hope u figure sumthing out~..
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Mar 31, 02
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hunny... I've lost a lot of best friends that I've simply just stopped giving people the label of "best friend".
it's not necessarily anything you do wrong. it's just life. people come and go. people change. but that doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. --Joanne :P
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Mar 31, 02
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Re: ~loss of a best friend~
Quote:
After enteringn high skool (gr.8) i became frends, and eventually best friends up until grade 10 (long story) We weren't just friends who talked occassionally or hung out every couple of months, we were 2 ppl who got to get to know each other thru interests and all the good times , which eventually got to the point of TOTAL trusting of each other. even tho we wre BEST friends for onlee 3 yrs, it had felt like a lifetime thats the jist of it...but EVERYONE changes as time goes on, sum for the better, sum for worse, sum just even grow up , or develop their own way into wat sort of a person they want to be. lifestyles change, attitude does too...lots of best friends, well ive seen this happen to quite a few, but they split apart, and sumtimes things just CANT be the same. its hard to understand most of the time, but its just the way it is. if u havent had a fight with this person uve been frends with for 17 yrs, and vice versa and none of u r mad about ne thing, then my comments said above r prolly what has happened...i duno! try talking to the person, get them to tell u whats goin on, other than that, there r ppl out there just waitin for ur frendship. :)
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Mar 31, 02
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thanks guys.......but i'm not going to give up on the friendship and i don't think she has either. but i know that we both think we arent as good friends ne more as we used to be. unfortunately tim, this friend isnt going to be going, shes going to be staying. we've both grown up together meaning we both matured at the same time even though we don't see each other. and i don't even think that she knows whats going either.....everytime we talk we're always saying that we'll be friends forever and our kids will be friends just like our moms and so on and so on.
this isn't even the only friendship i'm worried about. this makes me sound like i'm not a good friend at all but i think i am or maybe its just the ppl i meet? like how we say we'll still be friends, that saying never happens. or you spend so much time and everything with ppl and u tell them so much but yet you still have that feeling of not really connecting with them even though u've told everything...? i don't give up on friends, i always think that the make up ones life, w/o them you don't have a life, u don't have fun at all......i just wish that they understand me better......
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Apr 02, 02
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that's great that you're not going to give up... :)
Just consider yourself lucky that you still have the chance to rebuild the friendship. She's still physically there, and that is something to appreciate... Maybe you are both at a stage in your life where you just need some space away from each other... maybe it's just part of the processes... I have certain friendships that I crave back, but can't do anything about because they are physicaly miles and miles away... I have some friends in Toronto... that I miss a LOT.. but still keep in touch with through e-mail... You still have a lot of oppurtunities and ways to rebuild the friendship... maybe all it needs is time.. I personally, am guilty of letting many friendships slip, I'm only lucky that certain friends have given me second chances (unknowingly). I feel like I was a terrible person last year, and I still feel flawed today, but even after all the shit I put some people through, all I needed was time to myself and to get my life back in the direction that I wanted it, and that meant time to myself... There are, however some people who I most likely don't have second chances with, and it hurts but it's something I have to accept. If you gave up on her now, she'd probably be kicking herself later, so it's great that you're willing to stick by her.
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Apr 03, 02
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i think it really depends on the people..cuz i know lotsa guys that have kinda drifted..as well as me and sum guy buds..as well as me and sum girls...
both people gotta want the friendship to keep goin...one way friendships don't work..~
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Apr 03, 02
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jens right.. one way friendships never work..
but it sucks just as much when the one way friendship flips at the wrong time [still a one way friendship but the other way around] when the other person finally realized and wanted to fix it..adn then it's too late.. i don't know. i'm prolly notmaking any sense now tho..
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Apr 03, 02
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hrmmmm... yeah I sorta went through that with my best friend... but we still consider each other best friends we dont spend much time together anymore but when we do, its awsome..
Just think of all the memories you have and all that great stuff.. and even if you guys dont wee each other that much its not that hard to call each other up to go out for coffee, now is it? just think of the good times and the good times to come.. cause your still young and have many other people to meet!
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Apr 04, 02
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Quote:
sumtimes i feel sooo distant from sum friends..but with just one long awesome conversation..i feel closer to them then ever...those kinda talks are awesome..~
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Apr 04, 02
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Friends will come and go, so don't dwell on that fact, just remember all the good times and the thing's your friends have taught you, all the problems they've helped you to over come. Remember that people can be passionate about what they do, so sometimes in order for them to get ahead they have to leave thing's behind, move on in life and work towards there goals and dreams.
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Apr 05, 02
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Ya, one way friendships never work. The word "best friend" i think should never be used. A friendship will go through ups and downs, just the way life is.
However, if your doing all the work, she ain't worth your time. People who are blind to see friendship that is infront of them do not deserve it.
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