|
|||||||
| Punching Bag Bitch, cry and whine your way into oblivion. |
 |
|
|
LinkBack | Topic Tools | Rate Topic |
Sep 30, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
woah this needs more info - im sure something in your life is going well
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
well if you didn't know ... I have cancer for the 2nd time in my 19 years of living.
I have shingles as well, which right now causes back spazm's that make me swear, yell, and cry and pretty much this is how it feels... imagine having a drill/screw being screwed into your back, while someone was burning your stomach with a blow torch. Ok that is pain. My best friend is mad at me, and so is another friend of my best friend. And if I don't change the way I act they don't really want to hang out with me any more. {ouch that hurts} It's approaching my birthday, and all I can think about is the fact that I might not get to use and appricate the gifts I get if I die from Cancer. My cat is sick and keeps puking all over the place. I'm constantly gaining of lossing massive amounts of weight so none of my clothes fit me. {this has to do with my cancer} there is nothing good going on in my life, expect maybe the fact that the government is paying my welfare cheque's. {because i can't get a job because of my medical conditions} wow what a life.
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
It can only get better from here girl, there's a ton of people on this board that think the world of you and love you very much, so don't ever forget that. We've never met but I can tell from what I've read that you are passionet and strong enough to beat all the challenges you are faced with right now. Hang in there and don't give up on this, life is the most beautiful thing in this world of ours and you can ever stop caring about it.
much resect and love allie
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
aww allie this is so not you.. ure a strong gal and you know you will get over all this real soon. PLEASE stay strong and keep fighting all the evilness away. sickness is a big downer.... you still have a lot of supportive people around you like your family, jason, AND US. dont you dare give up..
we love ya allie! and to everyone else..STAY HEALTHY PALEASE..dont take ure health for granted.
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
But do you have a roof over your head? Do you have a family that loves you? Food in the cubboards? A boyfriend who has been through tons with you and cares about you? Yes, what you're going through is not easy by any means at all. However, maintaining an attitude like that is one of the most defeating things you can do to yourself. There are many things going wrong with your life, but there are also so many reasons you're lucky to be alive today. I understand that it is quite difficult to really come to terms with an illness that in many cases can be fatal. When you're young, it's even harder to be faced with the idea as well. Why should you go gently? Why should you surrender to your illness? It's fairly evident from reading the board that you've got so many people that care about you and are there to support you. There's a lot of things that are hard to do for you, and I'm sure there are things you CAN'T do...but there still has to be things you CAN do and that you are able to enjoy. About your best friend- are they much of a best friend if they're angry at you for really being yourself? I don't mean to come across as harsh, but sometimes you need firmness when you're reaching out to people. I could have it all wrong, but my words to you would be to live the best that you can right now.
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
And yes. Your birthday IS approaching and you WILL get to use and appreciate your gifts hun. This sentence really got to me and I think you deserve the BEST BIRTHDAY celebration ever. :) hun, if you need ANYTHING I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am here. and there are heaps of other people who are around too. I don't know if that means anything, but you sure do mean a lot to us. <3desiree
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
I can't even imagine the pain and depression you must have day to day but You have the ability within yourself to change the way you feel day to day right now!
For one moment forget all the things that are disempowering in your life and think of all the good things. In fact write them down! Think of anything that is postitve. I'll bet if you take the time to do that you'll realize that there's a lot more positive people/things in your life than you've been thinking lately. I'm a firm believer in psychoneuroimmunology (I'll break that down a bit) Phsyco---How you think Neuro----Your Brain and how it works Immune----Your immune system and how it works to fight diseases Ology---The Study of There's also something I believe that improves my life ALOT. There's not an English word for it (what a shame) but the Japanese word for it is Kaizen. It means constant improvement, maybe 1 % or 2% at a time! If you apply Kaizen to keeping emotionally positive, keeping your physical activity up as much as you can, eating well, keeping a close relationship with your family, friends and boyfriend, and most of all knowing that your life is precious and you will fight with everything you got to beat the cancer. Then doing all that will for surely boost how you feel about yourself When you feel great about yourself your brain sends electronic impulses throughout your body telling it, that you feel great! Giving you energy, making it easier and easier to get up in the morning and facing the day! When you feel great and smile a lot your immune system go's up turbo charge...its proven! Thats how psychoneuroimmunology works. My advice is to do something that you enjoy, whether its helping others, going swimming, writing a book...anything! Get excited about something, set goals and achieve them. Don't forget about your problems but rather try not to concentrate on them so much. Think positive as much as possible! SMILE! Whenever you think of soemthing painful, counteract it with something pleasureable. be strict with yourself, go 24 hours without thinking a negative though, if one comes up, shoot it down with something positive! You'd be amazed how much postive thinking can do for you! A lot of people say that life is fragile.....well it isn't, Life is Tough! or we all wouldn't be here! Once you find within yourself that you are tough enough, mentally and physically you'll find everything so much easier! I find it amazing that people don't realize their full potential! I remeber talking to my friend Arthur. He was trying to convince me that it was pretty much impossible for him to quit smoking, he told me that he's tried so many times and at this point in his life it was basically impossible..he just couldn't do it! So I asked him.....What if your Mom would die a painful horrible death if you took one more drag of a cigarette? Would you be able to quit then? Of course he could, he said! Without a doubt he realized if he really wanted to, he could quit that very instant, no matter how hard it was. He always had the power to quit, he just had to find it within him! So to sum all this rambling up. If you condition yourself to take baby steps of improving your mind, body and soul 1% or 2% (Kaizen :keebler: ) every day (everybody can do that, 1% is nothing!) before you know it you will feel a lot better about yourself and your body will thank you for it! You'll feel better about yourself and the people around you will also feel better knowing that you're going to be ok! AGROout Last edited by AGROculture; Oct 01, 03 at 01:05 PM.
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
wow dave, that was a very thoughtful inspiring deep shit moment. cheers to you man.
all i can say allie, is that life is what you make of it. hard as it is (and it really is fuckin hard) to do it, without trying to sound like a mom, count your blessings. seriously. get a pen, paper, and start writing down all the little things in life that make you smile. might just find yourself in a better mood sooner than you think :) things are going to change. smile sunshine :)
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
I'm sure you guys all mean well, but it's up to Allie to decide how she's going to deal with her situation. She has a right to interpret the impact of her illness in her own way--that includes feeling negative about the possible outcomes of her illness.
It's pretty hard to "look on the bright side" of things, or see the glass as "half-full" when you're suffering from debilitating pain on a daily basis. For some people, coming to terms with and being realistic about their prognosis can be a lot more therapeutic than trying to feign optimism about things. Telling someone to see something in a more positive light than they currently do can actually end up doing them more harm than good. You impose unessassary stress on that person, and deny them the right to deal with their illness in the way that they see fit. Allie: Maybe if you felt as though you had more control over your illness, you'd feel a bit more empowered? I think you mentioned something about a support group before, do you have access to other resources? Can you talk to your oncologist or nurse about better pain management techniques and ways that you can better manage your energy deficits? I personally think that you should be surrounding yourself with people who are going to support whatever decisions you make on how you're going to deal with your current situation. Ditch your shitty friends. People who stress you out will just drain you of whatever energy you have left to fight this thing. Did that make any sense? I hope it did. I've been studying for the past three hours and the screen's starting to go all blurry... :284:
|
|
Oct 01, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
holy shit. wow i never thought i would get responce's like that.
soma: for someone i've never met, things that you have said over the last really while are sticking with me, thank you. myra: tough love, is often the road to go. thank you for what you said, a lot of what you said hit hard - and i think i need to look at things differnetly. des: the best friend isn't who you think. it's someone else. i will call you tomorrow night, we'll talk. dave: shit. i've never had anyone write that much to me ever. crazy like i've been telling you about the psychoneuroimmunology - maybe i'll read up on it in my sister's text book. seriously, the thought you put into that, being that we hardly know each other means a whole lot. i think i need to make a trip to the library and pick up some books soon. starting tomorrow i am going to try this whole improvement by 1% or 2% theroy and i will let you know how it goes. thank you so much. goat/max?: i feel like a terd, im 90% sure your name is max, but if it isn't im sorry, i've got a lot going on and i forget things easily. thank you for sounding like a mom, sometimes people need more then one mom's. diva: you have it right too. i mean everyone has an opinion of what they think will help me. i mean im not going to drop all my thoughts and go with what one person says, but if i think it might help me in someway i'll try to encourate it into my life. i dont go in for treatment again until the middle of october but i might talk to a nurse about it. im the kind of person who doesn't like to talk about things with professional people, they scare me. but its late im going to bed. thanks for what you said. again not knowing you it means a lot that people care, it makes me think possitive and puts a smile on my face. everyone, thanks. things got even worse today, but i'm going to start applying what dave said into my life and hope to hell it works. but i need my sleep. xoxox allie Last edited by All!e; Oct 01, 03 at 01:43 PM.
|
|
Oct 02, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonics so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow. - O. Swett Marden
I know that there are no words to heal the pain that you are and have been experiencing. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be in the situation that you are in, and to struggle every day through your illness. Remember that you have support all around you, and that you are greatly loved. I definitely agree with Esi on considering a support group. I was going through an illness for years, and I was able to find comfort in talking to people who could relate to my situation. If you need any help in finding one, PM me and I would be more than willing to help you out! I have several really great resources that could suggest a few supoortive environments that you could check out. Hang in there sweety!
|
|
Oct 02, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
i can not begin to compare or give advice to you. i have lived on the outside of many illnesses, both my parents are goin through treatments at the moment for things, and to see them struggle is hard enough to even begin to imagine it personally.
i was very positive on the outside, and negative to myself about these things, and in the end it all got to me. i broke down, and it wasnt good for me or people around me. personally i believe it a good thing for you to be angry and upset, its what you truely feel. but you already know this im sure and its mostly re-iterating what alot of people have already said. take care of yourself, and no one else, your the one that matters in the end.
|
|
Oct 02, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
I was thinking of you today =) .....
What would I do if I was in your position, or a position similar to yours. It could happen anytime...am I ready for it? I came up with a lot of idea's and answers, and after all of it I thought to myself; Would I acually apply myself to my beliefs and idea's? Of course a lot of things are easier said than done I realize that everything we do as human beings We either do to it to gain pleasure or avoid pain Everything! So I asked myself how would I improve the quality of my life even a little bit at a time? Our Emotions are "E"nergy set in motion "E Motion" and once that motion gets enough momentum it can go farther than we can imagine. If you're up you go way up! and when you're down you can go way down I also believe that its not the events that shape our lives but how we percieve them. What may be an everyday occurance to one person may be a great fortune or even a tragedy to another. I believe there's a positive and a negative to everything that happens to us, in everything we do. Sometimes we need to dig deeper to find both of them. For example cancer is definatly a negative, but the positive side may be that it helped you realize that you have so many people that care about you! Some people go all there lives never finding that out. I believe if we apply enough positive energy and emotions to our our everyday lives in everything we do the momentum would be unstoppable! I will share with you what I would do to to enhance my quality of life. Contstant improvement or Kaizen to my mind, body and soul. CONTRIBUTION I can't figure out anything that would make me feel better than to help others in need. I acually went as far as calling the YMCA today and asking if they were doing any kind of Thanksgiving Dinner for the homeless, they're not having one for Thanksgiving but they do have a dinner for the homeless every Tuesday Night and are always looking for Volunteers. I think I will volunteer my services there, would you like to join me? MENTAL I would take some time really look at myself and who I want to become, who I was in the past and who I am now. I'd dig deep to find out my true values in life and make a point to live by them. I'd think Empowering Thoughts, I'd think of ways to probelm solve my negative thoughts, I'd dream, I'd take time to fantisize and I'd smile. I'd realize that I have the power to do anything I put my mind to and I can do it at anytime! I'd read a lot. I'd read anything and everything that interests me, From inspirational Stories to touch my soul to Educational stuff. I would take time to learn and to grow PHYSICAL I'd excersize......it doesn't matter if its a walk around the block, an aerobic excersize or anything. Everyday I'd take a little time to do this, before I know it I would be more energetic, my metabolism would increase, my immune system would increase and I'd feel better about myself. I'd get outside and breathe fresh air I'd drink a lot of liquids, take vitamins and eat the right foods, foods to nourish me and make me feel great! EMOTIONAL Life isn't complete without others. Some of the weathiest people in the world still have an inner emptiness and are not truely happy becuase they don't take to the time to be close with the ones they love. Love can make even the poorest person with absolutly nothing truely be happy All of this is what would truely be empowering. I believe it would set Emotions in such a momentum that there would be no room for discouragement and depression. Remember psychoneuroimmunology? If I felt great a lot more than usual and my depressive state was down to a minimum or even abolished how would this affect my immune system? Its proven that Constant Positve Reinforcement of yourself truely boosts every function in your body! but even if it didn't work. Would I rather be someone with a disease who looks at myself in a positive way and feels good about myself, cherishing everyday, waking up ready to face the day or a person with a disease who is constantly depressed and doesn't feel good about myself, dreading having to go through another day. The answer is obvious! By all means I would never forget my problems but instead of focusing on my problems I'd focus on myself and who I truely am. A powerful person who is in charge of his destiny! We ALL have it in us Purple Monkey Dishwasher AGROout
|
|
Oct 02, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
I like what dave said. It was well thought and meaning.
I really respect your courage, you've been thru alot. Other people said some of the things i wanted to say and i wanted to re-iterate the fact that there is alot of people supporting you, and if u ever need to talk/hang out you have my number and if ya lost it here it is again =) 604.807.1210
|
|
Oct 03, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
Everything that has been said is really well thoughtout and is a good thing to say.
I try my hardest each day to live it to the fullest, and be happy as much as I can. And for the most part my life is like that ... but somedays it's much harder to put a smile on this face. Sometimes it just hits you, you're really sick and you could die. Yes we are all going to die, it's just a matter of when, but I'd rather die of old age then of diease. I think a lot of my feeling down is because of the time of the year, it is fast approaching the 3 year mark of when my best friend died. One thing I think a lot of people also don't understand is that there are so many different kinds of cancer. Each one is treated differently, some I bet you'll never ever hear of, and the some you hear of almost every day. For example before knowing, or reading my story, have you heard of Neuroblastoma? I'm going to be none of you have. The kind of cancer I have is very uncommon, very. When I was a child there was so little funding I had a 15% chance of survival I believe, and now it's not too much higher. That is something that comes into my mind whenever I think of how sick I really am. But today I'm having a good day ... I talked to a few friends, I played with my cat, I've listend to some music, and now I'm on here ... little things that many people don't even really realize they do, I am really enjoying. I really don't know what I'm trying to say really, I guess it's just there is more to trying to just have a good day ... somedays you just can't. blah. geeze I don't know ... but yea I'm going to go. Oh yes. I might be on the news soon, talking about this and trying to get fundrasing for a trip, but once I find out the details I'll tell everyone and if you know anyone with lots of money that would want to sponser a child with cancer, ms, or other life theatning things, even young adults {like myself} let me know. We are looking for funding, for a trip to go theapudic swimming with dolphins. * allie
|
|
Oct 03, 03
|
|||
|
|||
|
see this is why you're one of my inspirations allie.
because of you're attitude, because you alwasy try and havea smile on your face. you're realistic but you don't let it get you down all the time. you're just very very inspiring, i've been thinking a lot like you have lately...you know enjoying everything, and i've been extremely happy lately. thank you. and i think i may be one of the only people that has heard of neurblastama, cause as far as i could remember, that's what my rfiend alana passed away of.
|
