someone help...i dont know what i did!

[Gilkayo]

so this is a long story..one of which i do not understand that that saddens me every time i tell it.
you see i have lost my best friend and i dont have a reason why.
she just stopped calling one day like a boy friend who was cheating on you.
it really hurts me.
its been over a month and ive called her LOTS! so much that its almost obsessive and she wont return my calls.
i left her a message on her birth day she didnt even call to say thanx.
i dont know what ive done.
i talked to a friend the other day and she says its because i rave and that im getting mixed up in the wrong things (like drugs)...yes i cant deny that i have done drugs in the past...but i mean nothing diffrent then what im doing now
i feel like ive killed her dog and she wont forgive me for it.
some help!
i need a hug!
:040:

[stabmyhead]

she probably doesnt want you to get her hooked up on your wacky drugs. maybe shes had someone close to her get into drugs and fuck themselves up or something and doesnt want to see that happen to her bestfriend, er. exbestfriend now i guess.. but she might be avoiding you so it seems like shes not losing her bestfriend to drugs cuz you guys arent friends anymore.

either that or shes being a bitch and has found a new bestfriend.

its probably cuz you're a "raver" now.

[Gilkayo]

im not a avid drug user...no more then shes known me to be...she dealt with it then..and why wouldnt she tell me if that was the case?
yes i did stop the whole rave thing for just over a year when i moved back here...so yes that could be it.
i mean i used to bash it left and right...but i mean im just into my 4th year of it so its not like she didnt know i did it or anything..and whats so wrong with it?
i understand and respect that she doesnt want to do it but that doesnt mean that she cant still talk to me does it?

[stabmyhead]

hoe old are you now? just graduated or grad a few years ago, what i think is that shes probably wanting to move on with her life and maybe sees you being your "kandy kid" self as being immature and wont fit in with her new fast paced life style.

you may not of noticed change but she probably does, and thinks you guys are too different and whatnot now. meh, it happens.

i could be totally off..

[djmarkpaul]

Maybe it's nothing to do with you.

Maybe it's all in her head, like this kid dies at some rave, makes headlines - and the last thing she wants is some dumb raver chick bringing her down.


Fuck it, there's a lot more people out there that will give you a shot for who you are rather than WHAT you are.

She might have good qualities and you might have fond memories - but if someone is so ansy to jump the gun just because of the personal style you've chosen to associate yourself with, then is it really time well spent?

I know one thing, raving has inriched my life and I wouldn't take it back for a second. I've met a lot of nice and interesting people and the good definetly outweighs the bad.

PLUR plur, hope you feel better.

markpaul :384:

[Gilkayo]

well i was thinking i mean ...i know shes going to school she works all the time and i know she doesnt have a lot of time anymore...but becuase we havent gone to school together or whatever we kinda lost touch...
maybe im not ready to?
i just hurts that people that you thought were close to you really werent...its like being cheated on.
i dont think it has much to do with my status in life.
she never had a problem with it b4 so what the fuck is up now?
new friends ok fine..i have those too...but i still know thats shes a friend that i love and care about..maybe im just being stupid and im not willing to give up on something. this is 8 years of my life im talking about here...and for what???????
nothing it turns out now!!!