don't put up with it

[spunsugar]

I just found out my cousin is getting divorced from her husband because he has been beating her so much and the neighbour finally called the cops and he went to jail. they have a three year old daughter and when I heard the news I honestly couldn't believe it because he was so nice ad everything looked so normal. they had moved down to chicago for his work for the last 3 years or so, so I haven't seen them lately but this has supposedly been going on from the start. it makes me so mad! I just wish she could have seen that she doesn't have to put up with that and I feel so bad for they're little girl who was supposedly watching the last time. maybe it was the distance they lived from the family that made her afraid to say anything but still, I just wish things had gone differently for her. I just wish things like this didn't happen and that women would learn to stand up to shits like that. she has had about 3 miscarrages as well through their relationship and it makes me sick inside to think they could have been caused by him. thankfully she has come back up here and has a restraining order against him. I hope that if anyone is reading this who is having a problem of abuse from their significant other will think about doing something about it. you don't have to put up with it. your friends and family are there for you and will support you in everyway.
I just had to get that off my chest...

[hardstylin]

i totally agree ive been a few scraps over the years because of cockhead dudes beating up on there girls, i dont want to see it and i dont let it happen if im around its totall bullshit! any man that has to hit a girl for ANY reason is no man.

[Sykonee]

Sadly, the pain of loneliness tends to outweigh the pain of physical violence for many.

[hardstylin]

Originally Posted by Sykonee

Sadly, the pain of loneliness tends to outweigh the pain of physical violence for many.

ya the fucked up thing about it is alot of the girls are so nice and gorgeous and could easily find someone thats way way better i just do not understand why people put up with so much bullshit specially violence.

[e_BoY]

1 word love

i think its bullshit. "but i love him/her so much"

guy beating on girl = bullshit. dont matter how much u love them or whatever you should get the fuck out

[Jingles]

the cycle of vilolence with an abuser and the abused is a very strange thing to the people on the outside
No one gets why a smart man/woman would ever stay with their abuser, and it's not just love, it's self worth and familiarity

the whole power dynamic
it's usually not just a matter of someone 'smartening up'
Many women will stay with violently abusive men, because they honestly believe they don't deserve anything better. And not only that they are embarassed to say anything out of the ordinary is happening - some are so badly abused, they don't really know that their situation isn't normal
their idea of love gets mixed in with the beatings - they don't truly unerstand that if someone really loves you they wouldn't beat the snot of you

Usually it is someone else who notices, it's an outside party that brings the abuser to the attention of the police

[*Geminiz*]

I knew someone in this type of situation. They weren't married, but had been together for 4 years and the violence was more emotional than physical, but it was bad. So utterly painful to see someone you love in this situation. Sometimes they don't even realize they are in an abusive relationship, keep things to themselves and think everything is normal. And often they think everything is their fault - as hard as it is for us to understand this, it's what's going through their head. They are so belittled they think they are nothing without that person who's the one hurting them and ruining their life. As outsiders, there's so little we can do - the abused have to want to get out. :( I'm sorry to hear this, but be happy it stopped now and didn't go on further.