May 01, 01
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Parents
My parents are pissing me off SO badly right now. They have been for a while, but now that my bf is back in Chicago, I moved back home. Right when I get in the door, I get pounced on with questions and harsh accusations. Stuff that is just SO incredibly ridiculous that I'm way too embarassed to even mention it on here. None of it holds any truth whatsoever...I have done nothing to make them think those things, yet they still go way off blaming me for this and that. It's pissing me off SO much that I think I'm going to move out. I'm willing to get a full time job so that I can pay for rent. Even if I'm scraping bottom, anything is better than living here right now. Gawd...driving me fucking up the wall...stressing me out SO much, when even without their shit, I'm already barely handling things. Fuck it all...seriously. I'm sure a lotta you know what I mean about parents. *grrrrr* :027:
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May 01, 01
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i so know how you feel! yea i haven't moved out.. but my parents decide to bitch me out for every friggen little thing i do!.. so i've come to the realization that anything i do won't be enough for them so i don't try to please them anymore.. i just sit back and try to deal with the shit they give me as best as i can, which is sometimes unbareable.. i find leaving the house as much as possible helps... well thats me... hope everything works out for you!!!
*hugs* -vince
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May 01, 01
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aawwwww AZN-SWEET-E!!!!!!!! ish okay *huggies* all you got to do is take a breather.... okay.. better? Well it's hard to say why some parents are so questionable at times and can be up your ass about everything. I guess it's fuked at times.. but I have to say, sometimes they DO do it because they love you, they don't want you to do anything stupid. Or they don't what you do do anything that you may regret or make the wrong choice. It's kinda weird for me to say this.. but .. you have to look at it from your parents perspective that, since you think your parents are always up your ass and they have no life but to bug the living hell out of you. But the truth maybe that .. ever since you were born, you have became their life and they don't want to lose you, if they do, they would be losing such a big part of them. I've learned that parents ask questions to learn more about their children to make a good relationship.
My parents hardly ask any questions.. especially my dad.. I tell my mother lots of things.. not everything.. but lots.. and my dad .. doesn't ask a lot of questions.. and makes me think that he doesn't love me at all..... I guess I kinda envy those peeps who have parents and wants to know more about their life.
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May 01, 01
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Azn sweet e... erica cheer up please =O*) I know how you feel.. I was in your position before.. i wanted to move out soo badly.. get out of the house.. go anywhere but live at home facing my parents everyday yelling at me like they disown me or something.. dont worry we all know asian parents are like that.. my parents always tell me about their past.. like when they lived in hong kong.. school was harsh.. life was harsh..I dont care.. This is canada.. i was born here.. so i live by the rules here.. not yours.. parents just never understand..it just really pisses me off.. me and my mother dont get along.. but i always ignore her.. all i do is when she comes home.. i say hi.. than bye.. and thats about it.. because when i start a conversation with her it always ends up like were argueing or something.. my parents piss me off sometimes too.. just ignore them.. no matter how much you hate them..moving out is not the best way to solve your problem.. it could make it worser.. we all need our parents.. who is going to be there for you when you throw up? who is going to hold your hair? who is going to take you to the doctor and feed you medicine? whos going to tell you what time your going to take your medication? whos going to cook for you? whos going to support you? whos going to always be there for you no matter what? love your father and mother.. they may not show it.. or you may not show it .. but deep down inside they really care about you erica.. and deep down inside of you.. you love them too.. SO DO NOT MOVE OUT.. if you dont want to see your parents.. just close your door and lock it.. listen to some music..
I hope I helped you a bit =O ) Take care
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May 01, 01
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Erica, I must admit that you may be in the wrong here.
When I was your age (or everone on this boards age :029: ) I was a major SOB. When I look back I was a rebel without a clue and I shake my head at how stupid I really was. You have to look at the world from their eyes and then you will understadn what they see. My younger sister is in a situation just like you are in, and honestly, I'm going to punish her SEVERELY for giving my parents lip. If you decide that you can survive on your own then do so, but IMO, you can't just come and go as you please and feel that you run the household. They are your parents and you have to give them the respect that they deserve. Trust me, the real world isn't as nice as it seems when you take your parental buffer away. You would be surprised at how much shit they deflect our of your way that you don't even notice. Here is a perfect example: Go out and price out just how much toilet paper, pop, chips and snacks would cost. Now add the cost of electricity, rent, taxes, other BS and it all adds up. I moved out a few times, lost everything I had and finally came home begging for a place to stay. They ended up letting me rent the basement of their new house HEAVILY subsidized by them. When I was on my own, I couldn't believe how my lifestyle changed and the cost of living in Vancouver! HOLY SHIT IT IS EXPENSIVE! My sister thinks she can live on her own and I find that a laugh. She works part time and makes less than what I pay in taxes for a year. Maybe I am old fashioned, but I do understand where you parents are coming from. You live under their roof, you play by their rules. If you don't want to do that then move out. In my opinion, those are fair rules. Take care.
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May 01, 01
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It's not like I'm completely ungrateful of them. It's just their rules, and the things they think about me, totally piss me off. I understand that my dad works his ass off to support our family...put my bro in school in the States...offered me the same opportunity. I have always been thankful to them, and a "good daughter." My mom used to be my best friend for 2 years, up until this year. I spent more time with my parents and family than I did going out and being with my friends. But this year, I had a boyfriend that they totally did not approve of (and had NO legit reason whatsoever), and made my life a literal living hell. It pulled me right back into the hole that I've been in for the past 7 years. I swear...no matter WHO the guy is...even if he goes to Harvard, is rich, and is Christian, they STILL would not approve of them. It's always a lose-lose situation. They also hate the fact that I party, but I'm honest with them now and tell them when I go. I've completely cut down, stopped some of my "bad habits", and have tried to pull my life around. But all they can do is sit there and accuse me of things that they have nothing to base it on. Like TOTALLY mean accusations...ones that hurt me SO badly. I really cannot believe that they think so lowly of me, when I really haven't done much to deserve those judgements.
As for moving out, I might not be able to, cause I gotta do school in the summer, and won't be able to pull off a full-time job. But I might move into a friend's house or something...I really cannot stand living here. It's causing EVERYONE to be stressed out. I literally cannot say a word to my mom without getting bitched at, or be in her prescene without feeling the REALLY bad tension in the room. I swear, I'm going mental...
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May 01, 01
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No your not going mental?
Dont let things get to you.. Control it.. Yes everytime I talk to my mom.. she tells me to shut up.. im like im trying to ask you something and you tell me to shut up.. than next time i wont ever talk to you again~!!
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May 02, 01
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I understand how you guys feel...especially you Erica. I know it's tough right now, and it feels like they don't understand you, or it feels like they're not really listening to you...but they are...trust me.
I used to have a real bad relationship with my parents...REAL BAD...I heard "We didn't have this...we didn't have that" story so many times, I almost pulled out my hair. And it felt like their values weren't completely parallel to mine because they were from another country... Honestly...I look back now and am kinda embarassed about the way I acted towards them. I felt like I could take on the world and was invincible, but really...I can't even do that now. You have to start giving your parents the respect that they deserve...even though you don't want to...because once you start, you'll be able to truly understand who they really are....does that make sense? :047: They love you...don't let that scare you...just reason with them...no screaming...no yelling...just talk to them. My parents are my bestest friends - they never lie, always tell the truth, and never leave my side
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May 02, 01
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My relationships with my parents aren't that great either especially with my mom, always quarrel.... a non-stop cycle that is.
But hey, is always good to learn to understand your parents personalities, sure this procedure is gonna take some times but is worth trying. Once you’ve realized their personalities, u will learn to negotiate with them better, learn to avoid arguments and not to mention, able to judge and appreciate their purposes of bitching at you…every person deserve respects especially your parents, after all your mom risks her health to gave birth to you, your parents raised u with efforts, times and yes, money as well. Move out can be a temporary solution for you but it certainly won’t do both parties (you and your parents) any better especially u, so what if you’ve got a full time job…supporting yourself aren’t easy, easy to say but not in REALITY. You will encounter financial difficulties soon & etc. In this real world, can be cruel cuz there’s no such thing call ‘second chance’…people won’t bother to show mercy to you and giva damn. In result, the one that will giva damn about u when you’re at the dead end are your parents and your siblings. One-day your still living in their house, you still has to follow their rules, you might disagree but again, is reality so learn & bare with it. Take the hatreds out, take tremendous amount of energy to battle & hate your parents. Ask yourself, does it worth it? Instead, try viewing the arguments in their perspectives and seek ways to improve it...judge who's fault is it & see if there's any improvements that can be make. My relationship with my mom is improving cuz I take my times to seek ways to solve it out. - GoodLuck -
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May 02, 01
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haha......
erica. i moved out for a bit. i get kicked out every month or so. i can be sucha bitch. i wont deny it. but hey. they had you. they shoulda known what they were getting into when they let the spermy get into the eggy. mom pretty much is typical everything is alright i'll just nag but my son/daughter can boss me around cuz i have no real say type mom. i dont get along with my dad. cuz i live in a asian household. school is very important. they want me to go to UBC or SFU. they just want to have something to brag to their fuckin' friends about, i'm not a fuckin' trophy. fuck. if they want me to go so bad. they go. i'm not going. i dont wanna go to either of those. but they'd rather force their opinions on me. and i'm a stubborn cunt and wont let others push me around... which gets me kicked out, running away, sneaking out and whatnot. i'm a lil punk. but i get it from my dad.
there's a fine line between discipline and stupidity. and until my parents mature and stop breaking my stuff or taking away privilidges and learn to listen to me, talk like civilized ppl and not restrict me. i'm not gonna even bother giving them the time of day. call me a bitch, ungratful brat, stupid cunt, or whatnot. but i'm too stubborn to follow their rules. i was a hard labour and i was never ready for the world. but they put me here. so we're all gonna suffer with me. parents. cant live with them. cant move out till you can back it up financially. FUCK.
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May 02, 01
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meh Parents...
my dad...he's totally clueless with wutever i do...i can leave the house for a week and he wouldn't notice..(its happened before)..the only time he gets in contact with me at all is when my mom bitches to him about me so then he can bitch at me too...oh..that or he likes to tell me how dumb i am and how i'm not like my older sisters...and he wishes i would be more like them..but i dun't really care wut he thinks...he lost my respect a long time ago..~ my mom...she's more clued in then my dad is...she'll notice if i don't come home...but other then that..i think she gives me enuf freedom...but then again..it makes me think she doesn't care since i get it so easy....but then again...i dunno..she's so outta my life...like she don't know any of my friends names..or numbers or where they live...she thinks i have really bad friends rite now or sum boyfriend that i'm keeping from the family or sumthing...i dunno...she tells me all the time that i've changed and she doesn;t like it and how i wasn;'t like this before and how she wants me to be back to how i was... they may luv me and put up with me cuz i'm their daughter but wut i hate the most is that they don't love me for me. omg..there's my lil rant.. but with my mother....i do get in arguements with her...she took my gr.7 phone book last week when i was at tokemon and was gonna call all the numbers to see where i was...luckily she didn't...but it would be pretty funny if she did since i don't talk to any of those people from that phone book cept for one person...haha... i ran away once...but was founded after a while...at first...i had my bag and i didn;t know where to go..i was jsut wanting to get outta my hell house and never go back but even just staying with friends and stuff made me knoiw how hard it was just not having them...maybe u need time away... hmm..compromise is a big word that goes along with the whole family thing....compromise and communication...they don't like alotta the things u do and that they think u do...u gotta talk to them..and not only clear it up....but if it don't work...thats when u just shut them out...cuz their being ignorant dumbasses...if they wanna bitch at u..sit and take it but ignore it all..let it all go in and rite out again...or actually..don't take it...why should u take shit for stuff that isn't even applicable to u?.. moving out is a big thing...it means ur all on ur own and stuff.....and it all sounds really tough...i mean...even if ur parents are idiots...stay with them as long as u can...cuz in the long run...u know they'll be there for u..~ i dunno...sorry my i ranted and went off topic...but yeah...parents...blah..they just suck..cuz we don't understand their view points and maybe don't want to or care to..?..but at the same time..they don't wanna know our views either so yeah~
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May 02, 01
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The thing is tho...I TRY to get along with them. They hated the fact that I party, so I didn't go to any since Heartbreaker. I went to Winterlove and Slinky, but only cause it was my boy's last parties here before he goes back to Chicago for either 4-8 months. I've changed SO many things in my life, to conform to what they want...so that I can please them, or make them happier...cause I know that once I get along with them, my life will be helluva lots easier too. But even though I've made all of these changes in their favour, they STILL act like that towards me. They accuse me of all this totally FAR OUT and mean stuff, and I have done NOTHING to make them think those things. Nothing I ever do is ever enough. I've just come to the conclusion that for the next few months, I'm not even going to try. Only talk to them when they talk to me or when I absolutely have to. Say hi, bye...but not even try to start any conversations. Cause even when I try to talk to them about good things, it ALWAYS turns into a flaming arguement. I'll just lock myself in my room or in the basement and hibernate. No more shit, cause I can't take it anymore.
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