Cool things about being a man.

Gold Streaks · #1 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

Cool things about being a man:

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking ''He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in minutes.
37. The world is your urinal.

Ryan Ross · #2 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by Gold Streaks:

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

Unless your talking to a woman that is...

yourlilbaby · #3 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

ya but we chicks have the blessing of exeptional multiple orgasms on you men,... but otherwise yeah u guys pretty much have it made

Res · #4 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

#37 is tha best one........

Bitchin · #5 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

#38 Guys can write their name in the snow
#39 Guys have selective hearing

so yeha..

Blunted... some guys dont shuddup too,you know?

Gold Streaks · #6 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by retro1:
#37 is tha best one........

agreed.

crookedking · #7 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by yourlilbaby:
ya but we chicks have the blessing of exeptional multiple orgasms on you men,... but otherwise yeah u guys pretty much have it made

only if the guy decides to let you.

crookedking · #8 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by Blunted:

Unless your talking to a woman that is...

and remember people some women do have a penis.

crookedking · #9 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by retro1:
#37 is tha best one........

twenty seven is pretty good too though.

Hell they're all good.

linds · #10 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

only if the guy lets you?

ahahaha thats not true.

crookedking · #11 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by Bitchin:
#38 Guys can write their name in the snow
#39 Guys have selective hearing

so yeha..

Blunted... some guys dont shuddup too,you know?

writing out name in the snow isn't all its cracked up to be...once you've done it once, you don't need to do it again.

crookedking · #12 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by Gold Streaks:
agreed.

post number seven thousand!!!

**sNyx** · #13 (**permalink**) Sep 30, 02

I can WALK AND PEE!!! Like you cant top that.. CANT!

Bitchin · #14 (**permalink**) Oct 01, 02

#40 guys dont give birth

oliver · #15 (**permalink**) Oct 01, 02

WORD! haha!

crookedking · #16 (**permalink**) Oct 01, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by snyx™:
I can WALK AND PEE!!! Like you cant top that.. CANT!

walk and cum.

Gold Streaks · #17 (**permalink**) Oct 01, 02

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

lol! so true. why can't women be like this?

yourlilbaby · #18 (**permalink**) Oct 02, 02

lol not only if the guy lets you.... lol
wel if hes jsut plain bad in bed then... lol i kidding

walkin · #19 (**permalink**) Oct 02, 02

werd to this thread
shit, i should have kept a list for every reason i had to say "and this is why i'm glad i'm a guy"
i must have said that AT LEAST 250 times

being a guy is great, no denying that fact :264:

Global · #20 (**permalink**) Oct 02, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by yourlilbaby:
ya but we chicks have the blessing of exeptional multiple orgasms on you men

If the guy has any idea what he's doing
So hard to be better at it than girls
well it wasn't really that hard just lotsa parctise....

*STARFISH* · #21 (**permalink**) Oct 03, 02

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

HAHAHA
uh no.
backseat driver wut?
i dont think so.

yourlilbaby · #22 (**permalink**) Oct 03, 02

lol well if u have the right guy its all good... but then i guess it depends

lucy · #23 (**permalink**) Oct 08, 02

Bitchin, you speak as though giving birth is a terrible affliction...women do have the choice whether or not they want to...and quite often they are delighted to do it.

My Version:

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. Unless the interviewer is a woman.
3. Your last name stays put. Woman are not required to change their name.
4. The garage is all yours. Well whoopee.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Unless you are my brother-in-law
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. Not a credit to you, a discredit to the mechanic.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. But you would feel good if someone did notice.
10. Same work .. more pay. Not a credit to you, a discredit to society.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments. Yeah, just love to be exposed to some stinky guy yanking on his crotch.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. Salt makes anyone retain water.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. I look at guys chests when I talk to them...:)
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. My boyfriend would beg to differ.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time. HAHAHAHA, right.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. HAHAHAHA, right.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. Unless you are my dad.
20. You can open all your own jars. Whoopee.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. You should be ashamed for this one.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. Anyone can buy boring ass underwear for ten bucks a pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. I bet your mother would.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Really? So can I.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking ''He must be mad at me." Anyone who thinks this would have to be a little insecure.
27. No maxi-pads. Well, adult diapers might make an appearance when you turn 70.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
become lifelong friends. Didn't that Cookie guy have a fit when this happened to him? I read that somewhere...
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt. Righty tighty, lefty loosey...no biggie ;)
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. That is just sad.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. And you are proud of this why?
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in minutes. Nope, I have seen guys wander around for hours trying to find gifts for friends and family. Women always know what to get.
37. The world is your urinal. I guess anyone could pee where and when they wanted to...women just have more sense than to make a display of their excretions.

jmzD · #24 (**permalink**) Oct 09, 02

Things that suck about being a guy:

The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper,
you're not allowed to cry.
Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.
You have to wear ties.
You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
"Women and children first."

boozydaclown · #25 (**permalink**) Oct 13, 02

boyshave penises and girls have vaginas

men dont bleed every month
men dont have cramps
men are aloud to be fat
men dont have to shave
men dont mind when other men fart
men dont care about other mens feeling
men dont have womb before there name
men can run for president

but the one thing we need is women why i dont know we just need them like air mmmmmm women