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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
seksy
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
specialkonrd is an unknown quantity at this point
honda jokes

anyone know any good honda jokes so i can piss off my buddy that loves his prelude?

i only know two good ones

"souping up a honda is like racing in the special olympics. you might win, but you're still retarded"

"if speed kills, honda drivers must live forever"
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
JVL Fantasies
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
yourlilbaby is an unknown quantity at this point
very cute
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
JVL Fantasies
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
yourlilbaby is an unknown quantity at this point
these are gay but i found them on a web site/




AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented



BMW Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Bimbette Motor Weapon
Break My Window



BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer



CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time



DODGE Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Dear Old Dad's Geriatric Ex



FIAT Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!



FORD First On Recall Day
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Forget On Race Day
Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Fixed On Race Day
Fought Off Recall Demands
Found On Road Dying
First On Rust Development
Fork Over Repair Dough
Founded On Reservation Dump
Ford Owner Really Dumb
Fumes and Oders Readily Detectable
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Found On Rubbish Dump
Frequent Overhall, Rapid Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Dilemma
Fabricated Of Recycled Dung
Flintstone Or Rubble Driven
Fireball On Rear Denting
Failure Of Reasearch and Development
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fails On Rainy Days
First On Road to Dump
For Old Retired Dudes
Found On Roadside Dump
For Only Retarded Drivers
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
Found On Russian Dump
For Off Road Death
it Freaking Only Runs Downhill
Fat Old Rusted Dog
Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)
Frigin Oakies Really Dig it
Funky Old Road Dog
Found on Road Ditches
Fails On Rainy Day
Found Only 'Round' Dumps
Found On Repairshop Driveway
Forged Out of Recycled Dumpsters
Fixed-up Old Repossesed Dodge
Found Old Rebuilt Dodge
Found On Railroad Dead
Found On Railroad Deserted
Forget OutRunning Dale
Fools Only Read Directions


GM General Maintenance



GMC Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?



HONDA Had One Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else (Ken Shields view)



HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...



MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along



OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every
day.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover
Equipment



SAAB Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
Sorry Arsed Auto Builders



TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto



VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners



VW Virtually Worthless
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
karma: *****
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Sh4n3 is an unknown quantity at this point
how about you point otu that his prelude won't beat anything short of a shopping cart
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
JVL Fantasies
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
yourlilbaby is an unknown quantity at this point
ok well his home made joke is better lol
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
karma: *****
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Sh4n3 is an unknown quantity at this point
i only speak of the truth

gotta love em 20 hp... 500, 000 valve 3.5 cylinder 40,000 rpm redlining engines!!!
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
seksy
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
specialkonrd is an unknown quantity at this point
hah i like how the list doens't contain nissans
<-- 240sx

he's got an 88 prelude s
but yeah next time we're at a store ill grab a shopping cart and be like lets race hahah
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
karma: *****
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Sh4n3 is an unknown quantity at this point
that race is SO unfair... at least put some wind resistance on that shopping cart so it's more equal
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Oct 08, 02
seksy
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
specialkonrd is an unknown quantity at this point
ill make a spoiler out of cardboard
more honda jokes:

Hondas are like tampons.... every pussies got one.
Hondas: sometimes you don't even know you race them
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
hosehead
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
inkster is an unknown quantity at this point
oooh. straight lines. how badass.

come out here, little man. i'll show you what speed is.

i'll also introduce you to a little thing called centripetal acceleration.

hoo.


haw.
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
seksy
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
specialkonrd is an unknown quantity at this point
huh?
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
.......
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
mister-peenutt has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Quote:
Originally posted by inkster:
oooh. straight lines. how badass.

come out here, little man. i'll show you what speed is.

i'll also introduce you to a little thing called centripetal acceleration.

hoo.


haw.
hey smart guy. what do good drivers try to do to the race track to get faster times? TURN IT INTO A STRAIGHT LINE.

you moron.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh CENTRIPITAL ACCELERATION... wow such a big word makes you look smart... i learned about it in grade 12

:Peenutt:
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
*~*PLUR b*tches*~*
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
RiCeY is on a distinguished road
Honda's rock dude! *hehe* I own one... It must be a Azn thing too...I swear 90% of Azn's must own a Honda... :tounge1:
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Kraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the rough
I drive a 98 Prelude... it's perfect for what I need.

2.2L in-line four cylinder, 195HP with 156 ft. pounds of torque @ 5250 RPM... after all, it is a four cylinder.

Factory 0-60 is in 6.8 realistically though closer to 7. I like it, certainly wouldn't race it unless I did some mods to it which I don't have the $$$ to do.

I figure my next car will be a BMW 330 and then eventually an M3 --- those are just sick! Audi has some nice cars as well... I would consider those. I saw a beautiful AMG CL55 the other day... a couple of weeks back, I saw a brand new CL600 - that was AMAZING! -- 362HP 5.8L V12! - 391ft. pounts of torque!
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
Res Res is offline
union/fnk/twisted
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Res is an unknown quantity at this point
my rice burner is stock :soak: :soak:

u guys are hurtin my hondas feelings LOL

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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
Gravity Slave
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
MC Hammered has a spectacular aura aboutMC Hammered has a spectacular aura about
The best honda joke is this:

DJ Honda :finger:
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
Res Res is offline
union/fnk/twisted
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Res is an unknown quantity at this point
^ bahahahha lol hahahahha
ROFL
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
seksy
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
specialkonrd is an unknown quantity at this point
lol
he's worse then the car
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
WAT.R.U.GONNA.DO.FIRE.ME?
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
djalto is an unknown quantity at this point
honda's kick ass dude...what other car can u fill up for $20 and get at least 500 km...lol...not some crappy ass "domestic" car...lol
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
seksy
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
specialkonrd is an unknown quantity at this point
no
honda sucks
u can fill up my nissan and get almost that much
u can fill up my freinds toyota and get almost that much
u can fill up my freinds geo metro and get twice that
u can fill up my freinds vw passat tdi and get almost 3 times that

civics are ugly and slow
and ugly
and slooowww
i drove a 97 civic dx a few days ago
all i coudl think about was that i totally realize now why people put so much money into these things...its cuz they are so fucking gutless
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Oct 09, 02
.......
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
mister-peenutt has a little shameless behaviour in the past
^^^
they put money into it because they want to.

i put 20bux into my car and i can get over 600km's to a tank.
i drive a "honda" and most likely can mop the floor with you in a straight line and on the track.

you may not know the reasoning behind why people put money into hondas.. but i'm still wondering why you put money into a spoiler that looks like its made out of scrap metal put together in someguys backyard.

and why would you compare a desiel motor to a gas? of course the desiel will get better gas consumption.

thats like saying i can fill up my insight and get 80mpg.


:Peenutt:
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 02
hosehead
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
inkster is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally posted by mister-peenutt:


hey smart guy. what do good drivers try to do to the race track to get faster times? TURN IT INTO A STRAIGHT LINE.

you moron.


uhhhh. no shit?

it's called taking the apex of the corner. go in high. bring it in at low through the center part, then come out high. by creating a larger turning radius, the car can go faster with less friction needed to keep the tires on the road.

i think you kinda missed my point anyways. i was alluding to reality that most riceboys who take pride in the "speed" of their car, couldn't even come close to holding their own on a course with actual curves on it. this is especially so in the vancouver area where the riceboy culture is primarily centered around richmond. a city of DEAD STRAIGHT ROADS. highway 99 is really the only road anywhere near vancouver which allows for actual *driving* conditions where skills much more advanced than "keeping the wheel straight" and "flooring it" are put into practise. otherwise, meh. massive novelty spoilers, and glowy things on the dash board mean fuck shit all when it comes down to knowing your car, and also knowing the road.

Quote:

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh CENTRIPITAL ACCELERATION... wow such a big word makes you look smart... i learned about it in grade 12
i did too. :)

i just included that as it was a good way to reference the radius vs friction force thing.

oh, btw, i was racing a brand new bmw around cameron lake last week. he could only catch up to me in the striaghtaways. but then again, i never go that fast on the straight aways.. they're boring. if anything, they're like breaks until the real fun beings again.

if you ever come out to the island, msg me. we'll go for a spin on highway 4. good times.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 02
Celebrate or Suffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
SEAN! is a glorious beacon of lightSEAN! is a glorious beacon of lightSEAN! is a glorious beacon of lightSEAN! is a glorious beacon of lightSEAN! is a glorious beacon of lightSEAN! is a glorious beacon of lightSEAN! is a glorious beacon of light
Quote:
Originally posted by mister-peenutt:


hey smart guy. what do good drivers try to do to the race track to get faster times? TURN IT INTO A STRAIGHT LINE.

you moron.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh CENTRIPITAL ACCELERATION... wow such a big word makes you look smart... i learned about it in grade 12

:Peenutt:
hahah i love it when real car guys come into conversations like these...

hahah like a fwd honda could out turn a fuckin 240 anyway...those things are know for their handling ablities, 50 50 wieght distrubution dope suspension geometry and rwd drive make the 240sx a dope buy for a performance enthusiast on a budget...certainly a far better choice then a civic or even preldue of the same vintage.

ohh and inkster, the bmw owner didn't know how to drive...i wouldve handed u your ass. :)

Last edited by SEAN!; Oct 10, 02 at 12:23 AM.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 02
seksy
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
specialkonrd is an unknown quantity at this point
not to mention i lowered it with progressive springs and have have aftermarket swaybars
sure, ill race u down 99 :P
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 02
.......
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
mister-peenutt has a little shameless behaviour in the past
progressive springs aren't geared towards performance.

they're geared to give the car a more "agressive" stance.. they are "progressive" because of the way they are bent into shape.
they do that because it gives better ride and aren't too stiff.

did you buy shocks? probably not.

race you down 99? pfft... take it to a track there buddy.

you can race yourself all you want on the highway.. i'll just watch the news to see how well you do. or you can post about how you lost you N because you were stupid.

or go out to boundry bay airport on the days that they open for autocross if you wanna prove something.. and get a time.

but then again. you're sweet spoiler might give you an advantage because of the added downforce at like 60k an hour... probably like 49newtons worth of downforce. WOW.

:Peenutt:
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