would you go out with someone with a disability?

[PwInCeSs]

I was just answering the general question...

[ebbomega]

Honestly, dude, by the way you talk about her it sounds like you really do like her, you've just got a hangup on the disability.

My honest, straight-from-the-heart advice is to just let things happen and see how it progresses. I understand if you're not into it but you sound like you like her personality, looks, you enjoy conversing with her... but you've got a hang up.

Face your fears man, otherwise you'll stand around wondering what if and that is no way to happiness.

I could be way off - I don't know you really, so who am I to judge? But so far you've gushed about how great this chick is but you don't want to be involved, and the only reasoning I can find is because she's deaf. If you let that block your way then you're closing a door that you may not want to.

Just my thoughts. Do what thou will.

[jenai]

you guys have outdone yourself in this thread.

no thread of mine can compete with the sensitivity and respect the tone of participants of this thread (who are mostly male) that this thread lacks.

how dare you equate obesity with the physically and intellectually challenged!

[fritz]

are we really expected to be so open minded all the time?
can people be altruistic while still being honest about their desires?
if someone's differences impede a balanced relationship is anyone surprised?

i mean, maybe you should be making a thread listing someone's potential positives, because it's easier than judging people by what they don't have

[PwInCeSs]

I dont think he was trying to say they are equal, I understand his point (altho i think it was drastic levels) Would you date a obese person? could you fall in love with a 400lb man or women? Alot of people wouldnt, witch is judging someone on how the physically appear.
Our society looks at disabled people as different, heck they do "genetic abortions" well after 20 weeks if you find out your child is downs or any other disability that can be found while in the womb.

[-evil-duerr-]

Originally Posted by jenai

how dare you equate obesity with the physically and intellectually challenged!

in case you missed the beat, that post wasn't supposed to be taken 100% seriously. I was making a point by using grossly exaggerated comparisons, I've already simplified it for the people who are on some laughably pretentious agenda.

Originally Posted by -evil-duerr-

I don't think the issue is that any of us think less of disabled people, it's simply an issue of compatibility.

really/. i have to repeat myself?

[-evil-duerr-]

Originally Posted by fritz

if someone's differences impede a balanced relationship is anyone surprised?

apparently some of the people in this thread are. I don't get it either.

Originally Posted by fritz

are we really expected to be so open minded all the time?
can people be altruistic while still being honest about their desires?
if someone's differences impede a balanced relationship is anyone surprised?

i mean, maybe you should be making a thread listing someone's potential positives, because it's easier than judging people by what they don't have

Im not saying that ppl have to be open to dating anyone. What im trying to get accross is that anyone of us at any point of time could be blind, deaf, or be put in a wheel chair. So could our partners. Not to mention as we get older, there are a lot of desises that can effect us mentaly. What im trying to say is, dont make a big deal about it. If your uncomfortable about right now than dont lead the other person on. But you also need to put your self in the other person's shoes because at any time anyone of us could be effected with a challenge or diagnosis that the world still perceives as different. So quite making such a big deal about it and it may not seem soo "different" or "disability" like.

[j3rk]

There was this girl at the rogers video i used to go to which only had one arm. She was cute. I had the hots for her. It was the weird hots, like fucking your cousin.

[Webber]

Originally Posted by R Wellbelove

A spin off of what prozac said, everyone is different and really, its the norms ability that makes the anti-norm a dis-ability. Im really shocked that someone even calls someone who is deaf or blind a disability. Its amazing what ppl who are deff, blind, or have physically mobility issues can actually do. Some things they can even do better than most "normal" ppl.

... what would you call being deaf, blind or physically impaired?

it's a disability - Anything that puts one at a disadvantage - so they would be disabled.

[ebbomega]

Yeah, um, sorry Rhia, I'm with webber. If you don't call it a disability, what do you call it? It fits the definition, and just because the connotation has been overextended (particularly in the field of mental health) doesn't mean that someone with a blatant physical disability isn't disabled....

[esoter1c]

Blind people are all secretly psychic telepathics.

[tiedye]

Is this any different from not dating someone you don't find physically attractive even though they're mentally your type? Come on now. We all have our shallow qualities. This one is just easier to turn on people to make yourself look good.

[cubed]

Honestly, I don't see why I wouldn't.

If I clicked with someone enough for me to want to spend time with them I don't see why I wouldn't.

There's a lot more to a relationship than the mere physical aspects of it. If anything ever happened to my partner I'd certainly stay by them. Just because something like that could it happen, it doesn't change the person they are or the person I grew to love.

[ebbomega]

Just gonna say that I'd totally tap the deaf chick from Weeds if she was like 5 years older.

[fritz]

guys if i ever lose my amazing good looks in a horrific ethernet cable to the face accident, dont feel obligated to date me out of pity

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Honestly, dude, by the way you talk about her it sounds like you really do like her, you've just got a hangup on the disability.

My honest, straight-from-the-heart advice is to just let things happen and see how it progresses. I understand if you're not into it but you sound like you like her personality, looks, you enjoy conversing with her... but you've got a hang up.

Face your fears man, otherwise you'll stand around wondering what if and that is no way to happiness.

I could be way off - I don't know you really, so who am I to judge? But so far you've gushed about how great this chick is but you don't want to be involved, and the only reasoning I can find is because she's deaf. If you let that block your way then you're closing a door that you may not want to.

Just my thoughts. Do what thou will.

plus he can vicariously satisfy my curriosity as to what sounds deaf girls make when they have orgasims.

[hardstylin]

Originally Posted by tiedye

Is this any different from not dating someone you don't find physically attractive even though they're mentally your type? Come on now. We all have our shallow qualities. This one is just easier to turn on people to make yourself look good.

I wont even date a girl that doesnt smoke pole.

[tiedye]

Originally Posted by hardstylin

I wont even date a girl that doesnt smoke pole.

I thought those girls went extinct with colour TV.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by SEAN!

plus he can vicariously satisfy my curriosity as to what sounds deaf girls make when they have orgasims.

ALRIGHT, LET'S BRING 'EM KIDS!

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
So she can moan with the other.

[robyn]

i'm going to start dating them exclusively

[Grapes]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Just gonna say that I'd totally tap the deaf chick from Weeds if she was like 5 years older.

Remember the deaf girl on Seinfeld? :love:

Originally Posted by Webber

... what would you call being deaf, blind or physically impaired?

it's a disability - Anything that puts one at a disadvantage - so they would be disabled.

To be honest im being at the most recent level of political thinking here... so really I guess there isnt a word to really describe what where talking yet. Diagnosis is probably the most technical political term. And the only purpose of a diagnosis is to help ppl understand the situation your in and receive proper funding and support.

The problem I have with the word disability is that it basically says that a person is at a disadvantage. However many ppl who are labeled disabled have been able to prove wrong, and that they are in so many ways just as able as the rest of the "norm". I feel the same way when I was diagnosed with a Learning disability. The thing is, it was never a disability, I just learned differently than the norm. I still graduated and seem to be able to hold a high gpa. I dont even like the word different, because how different am I really? The only reason I learn differently is because the majority of the time in school I was never tot in the way that I learn best.

In the end it all boils down to peoples perception of "normal" or majority. The only reason they're different or at a disadvantage is because your comparing them to your own ability. If stairs where never invented... ppl in wheel chairs would never be at a disadvantage.

So who ever got to decide what the norm was?

[jenai]

Originally Posted by PwInCeSs

Would you date a obese person? could you fall in love with a 400lb man or women? Alot of people wouldnt, witch is judging someone on how the physically appear.

I have; and no one compares to a fat lady. They have hearts of gold usually.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by R Wellbelove

To be honest im being at the most recent level of political thinking here... so really I guess there isnt a word to really describe what where talking yet. Diagnosis is probably the most technical political term. And the only purpose of a diagnosis is to help ppl understand the situation your in and receive proper funding and support.

Sorry, Rhia, but I'm gonna call "WALKING TO FAR INTO THE WORLD OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS"

Handicapped is bad, Retarded is bad, now we can't even say disabled? Orwell would cry.

The problem I have with the word disability is that it basically says that a person is at a disadvantage.

THEY ARE AT A DISADVANTAGE.

Lack of an arm, lack of sight, lack of hearing... these are all disadvantages. People with these disabilities have to OVERCOME those disadvantages in order to reintegrate themselves into society... Helen Keller couldn't communicate with anybody until Anne Sullivan broke through to her. Blind people require use of a cane or a seeing eye dog.

However many ppl who are labeled disabled have been able to prove wrong, and that they are in so many ways just as able as the rest of the "norm".

They don't prove them wrong, they prove that they can exist in society despite their limitations. But that's not the same thing as not having limitations. VERY few people who are handicapped are able to integrate themselves into society without special assistance, at least at first.

I feel the same way when I was diagnosed with a Learning disability. The thing is, it was never a disability, I just learned differently than the norm. I still graduated and seem to be able to hold a high gpa. I dont even like the word different, because how different am I really? The only reason I learn differently is because the majority of the time in school I was never tot in the way that I learn best.

And now we get right to the heart of Rhia's bias.

Again, we're not talking about a learning disability. My main problem with psychological "disorders" is that a fair number of them aren't in fact disabilities at all, just a different way of thinking or personality. ADD kids are probably some of the best resources of random information you'll ever care to meet.

HOWEVER, there's a world of difference between someone with a different behaviour from the norm, and someone who lacks a physical ability (hence the term: dis-ability) that they have to overcome in order to integrate into society.

In the end it all boils down to peoples perception of "normal" or majority. The only reason they're different or at a disadvantage is because your comparing them to your own ability. If stairs where never invented... ppl in wheel chairs would never be at a disadvantage.

People in wheelchairs have plenty of disadvantages without stairs. How well can they rock climb? Can they get up a mountain without assistance? How well can they manoeuvre on a beach? In a bog?

So who ever got to decide what the norm was?

Society. Sometimes we get it wrong, I agree. And learning disabilities are probably the worst for it (Fuck, Einstein and Edison both had learning disabilities too). But to say that someone who lacks a major physical characteristic of their body (such as senses, mobility, etc.) are able to do anything that anybody can do without any assistance, even if just at the early stages, is ridiculous.

Before stairs there weren't wheelchairs anyway. How did people without legs get around back then? Ability to overcome a disability is a product of the exact same society that labels these disabilities. For animals in the wild, if you get so much as a broken leg, go find a cozy little place to curl up and die because that's about all you got left to do.

The word "disabled" or "disability" is not derogatory. It is not intended to do harm. If we start trying to censor words like that then we're just refusing to acknowledge its existence. This is ridiculous.

I get your empowering stance, and I fully support it. But that stance should not include trying to eliminate non-discriminatory language. You admitted it yourself - if we can't call it disabled, we don't have any other words for it. So why not just call a spade a spade?