lF THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END WHAT WOULD BE THE MOST FUN ARMAGEDDON
LISTEN NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW THIS BUT ME AND GOD ARE PRETTY TIGHT. HE USED TO BE A MASON WITH MY GRANDPA, AND WHEN MY GRANDPA DIED HE LET HIM INTO HEAVEN EVEN THOUGH HE'D BEEN AN INSURANCE SALESMAN. GOD IS TOTALLY CHILL LIKE THAT. ANYWAYS WE HANG OUT SOMETIMES.
ANYWAYS WE WERE PLAYING BASKETBALL LAST NIGHT AND THE GAME GOT PRETTY CHIPPY (GOD WAS KIND OF BEING A DICK MAKING HALF COURT SHOTS ALL NIGHT AND TALKING SHIT, BECAUSE HE CAN). ANYWAYS HE TRIED TO CROSS ME UP AND AS HE WENT BY ME I FOULED HIM KIND OF HARD. I THOUGHT HE WAS FAKING BECAUSE HE'S BEEN KNOWN TO BE A BIT OF A FLOPPER. ANYWAYS I WAS ALL LIKE
"FUCK YOU YAHWEH YOU LITTLE BITCH GET THE FUCK UP"
ANYWAYS HE WAS PISSED AND SAID
"OH YEAH? IM A BITCH? IM GOING TO DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN AND LOVED IN YOUR LIFETIME. I WILL STAMP OUT HUMANITY WITH LITTLE MORE THAN A GENTLE SIGH FROM MY LUNGS, AND YOU SHALL KNOW MY WRATH BY THE FEAR I PULL FROM THE CORNERS OF YOUR NIGHTMARES AND MAKE FLESH IN FRONT OF YOU."
ANYWAYS THAT KIND OF WAS A MOOD KILLER AND A LITTLE TOO HEAVY, SO IT SORTA ENDED THE GAME RIGHT THERE. I DONT THINK HE MEANT IT AND OVER BEERS AFTER HE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS SORRY HE GOT SO VENGEFUL BUT HE HAS HAD TROUBLE LATELY WITH AFRICA AND SHIT AND WAS JUST STRESSED OUT. HE ALSO TOLD ME THAT HE CANT REALLY TAKE IT BACK BECAUSE THEN HE LOOKS LIKE A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE OTHER GODS (A LOT OF THEM HAVE NO PROBLEM WIPING OUT A RACE OF PEOPLE).
BUT, BECAUSE HE'S A CHILL DUDE HE SAID I COULD END HUMANITY ANY WAY I WANTED, WHICH IS A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ME AND SOMETHING IM TAKING REALLY SERIOUSLY. I NEED SUGGESTIONS ON HOW I COULD KILL EVERY MAN WOMAN AND CHILD ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH BUT NOT HAVE THEM BE MAD AT ME IN HEAVEN (I KNOW WORD WILL GET OUT AND I HAVE A HUGE FEAR OF ABANDONMENT).
TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ VERSION: I MADE GOD MAD HOW DOES I END THE WORLD IN THE MOST GENTLE AND ENJOYABLE WAY l
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