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  #1 (permalink)  
Old May 24, 08
ebbomega's Avatar
1up motherfucker
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
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"This job'd be great without all the @#$%ing customers..."

This site is gold:
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old May 24, 08
mapleleaf4ever's Avatar
sweet sensi crew
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
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lol good link!
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old May 24, 08
rip sc "love never fails"
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
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this is a good one! I have tons of dumb customer stories :S
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old May 24, 08
no clouds in my stones
 
Join Date: May 2001
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Wowwwwwwwwww my favourite, WHAT THE F?!

Better Ask The Halibut First
Restaurant | Berkeley, CA, USA

Customer: “I’d like the halibut. Is there any way you can make that vegan?”

Me: “Other than by making it not be a fish, no.”

Customer: “Good point.”
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old May 24, 08
Sonic Nacartic
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Sykonee will become famous soon enough
8)

Customer: “I suppose I should order some internet.”
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old May 24, 08
no clouds in my stones
 
Join Date: May 2001
galaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the rough
This is from my store today. I recognized her immediately as someone who was a pain in the butt a few days earlier. Here's the conversation as I listen from a distance:

Cashier: Clearance items are a final sale. Unfortunately, I cannot refund this item.

Customer: But the girl who rang me in said I could refund it if my sister didn't like it.

Cashier: But the cashier stamped your receipt "FINAL SALE".

Customer: So that means I can't refund this.

Cashier: Correct. That is our policy as stated at the bottom of the receipt and on our refund policy here (shows sign on desk to customer).

Customer: (starting to get angry) BUT THE GIRL TOLD ME-

Me: Excuse me. Can I see your receipt?

Customer: (hands me the receipt)

Me: (looks at receipt) Interesting. I'm the store manager and I rang you through, and stamped your receipt "FINAL SALE" because this bag was on clearance. In fact, I specifically remember telling you that you wouldn't be able to refund it if your sister didn't like it, and you told me that you would risk it and keep it for yourself if she didn't like it.

Customer: oh...umm...right...alright...well...I guess I'll keep it then...

LOLS. I was nice and gave her an exchange, but seriously, WTH do customers lie?!
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old May 25, 08
laska's Avatar
lolrat
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
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"So pork, is that like, a fish?"
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old May 25, 08
ebbomega's Avatar
1up motherfucker
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxie View Post
LOLS. I was nice and gave her an exchange, but seriously, WTH do customers lie?!
She got it returned right (albeit an exchange)?

That's your answer: Because they get away with it.
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old May 25, 08
MissBehavior's Avatar
tee hee!
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ebbomega View Post
She got it returned right (albeit an exchange)?

That's your answer: Because they get away with it.
Working in retail, you have it drilled in that "the customer is always right"; the CUSTOMERS believe that they are always right (even when they are blatantly wrong), and because of this, the industry acts as an enabler of shitty behavior. Customers also realize that the more they act like a fucktard, the more likely they are to get their way because A) Employees don't want to get in shit, and B) Employees would rather that they get their way, stfu and gtfo of the store so they don't have to deal with it any more.

Personally, I don't get paid enough to listen to someone have an adult tantrum.

Last edited by MissBehavior; May 25, 08 at 02:43 PM.
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old May 25, 08
no clouds in my stones
 
Join Date: May 2001
galaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the rough
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissBehavior View Post
Working in retail, you have it drilled in that "the customer is always right"; the CUSTOMERS believe that they are always right (even when they are blatantly wrong), and because of this, the industry acts as an enabler of shitty behavior. Customers also realize that the more they act like a fucktard, the more likely they are to get their way because A) Employees don't want to get in shit, and B) Employees would rather that they get their way, stfu and gtfo of the store so they don't have to deal with it any more.

Personally, I don't get paid enough to listen to someone have an adult tantrum.
LOL tantrums are amusing, I just call security

but really, as the manager I have the discretion to allow an exchange, which was just fine because the bag was in perfect condition and could easily be re-sold. What I don't get is why she would lie instead of just telling my cashier the truth!
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old May 25, 08
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
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i'd rather shove rusty aid infested razor blades up my cornhole then work customer service jobs again.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old May 26, 08
Erin's Avatar
ToBeARockAndNotToRoll
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
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Awesome:

Me: “Hello, this is ***.”

Caller: “Is this %%%%?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

Me: “It’s okay…goodbye.”

(They hang up, but seconds later, the phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, this is ***.”

Caller: “Is this %%%%?”

Me: “No, you’ve dialed the wrong number again.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(The hang up … phone rings again.)

Me: “If you keep hitting redial, you’ll just keep getting the same wrong number.”

Caller: “How did you….oh!” *hangs up*
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old May 26, 08
NinjaBoy's Avatar
Full moon Sway
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
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I write scripts for a living. Couple weeks ago, i send one that I client decided to write back to him.

Me: "It's too long, cut at least 7 seconds from it"

Him: "Okay, I'll cut a bunch out."

When I got it back, what he had done, was deleted all the periods and made it one long sentence. And wrote "Read fast" at the top.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old May 26, 08
ebbomega's Avatar
1up motherfucker
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
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.. because anybody really remembers anything the micro machines guy says aside from "Remember if it doesn't say Micro Machines on it, it's not the real thing!"
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old May 26, 08
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
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I've always said, "NOTHING, and I _mean_ nothing will lower your opinion of the Human Race faster than working in the service/retail industries."

It's amazing how some people can actually continue to breathe.

Frosty
(holds a low opinion of humans, in general)
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old May 26, 08
no clouds in my stones
 
Join Date: May 2001
galaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the roughgalaxie is a jewel in the rough
^ it's like the facebook group "I have worked in retail and thus have lost all faith in humanity"
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
MissBehavior's Avatar
tee hee!
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxie View Post
^ it's like the facebook group "I have worked in retail and thus have lost all faith in humanity"
Yeah, I'm a member of that group. :P
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
Well, that's your opinion
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Mangle will become famous soon enough
Customer: "Hi, I need to buy the Pro Tools software"
Me: "What were you thinking of getting? M-Box mini? M-Box 2 Pro?"
Customer: "No, just the software."
-------------------------------------------
Customer: "Do you have an emm-one-dee-one cable?"
Me: "No, but we've got plenty of midi cables."
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
-->Tightcore Trucker<--
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Bitchin will become famous soon enoughBitchin will become famous soon enough
Haha This Site Is Awesome
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
NinjaBoy's Avatar
Full moon Sway
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangle View Post
Customer: "Hi, I need to buy the Pro Tools software"
Me: "What were you thinking of getting? M-Box mini? M-Box 2 Pro?"
Customer: "No, just the software."
-------------------------------------------
Customer: "Do you have an emm-one-dee-one cable?"
Me: "No, but we've got plenty of midi cables."
Although it may be common knowledge for people with a production background that Pro tools requires an Mbox. Most of the population doesn't know this.

Just sayin'
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
hogan knows best
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
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after spending most of my working life in the service industry I can honestly say that I think I just found a new favourite website

aaaaaaaaaaaand BOOKMARKED
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
Well, that's your opinion
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Mangle will become famous soon enough
Quote:
Originally Posted by NinjaBoy View Post
Although it may be common knowledge for people with a production background that Pro tools requires an Mbox. Most of the population doesn't know this.
Just sayin'
True, but it's also the first thing you'd find out if you actually did any research into the product you're trying to buy. Most of the population doesn't research anything before they do it, and, since everyone has the internet, there's no excuse for that except laziness and/or stupidity.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
ebbomega's Avatar
1up motherfucker
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
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I thought, as the sales clerk, it was your job to educate and inform them on the products they are interested in purchasing.

At least that's how I always did it when I was in retail.

I'm with Ninja on this one.

The m1d1 bit was kinda funny though.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
hogan knows best
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
.muffy. has a spectacular aura about.muffy. has a spectacular aura about
Angry Old Woman: “Excuse me! I am very upset because you sold my young grandson pornography!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pornography.”

Angry Old Woman: “Get me the manager now!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Angry Old Woman: “Your pervert cashier sold my grandson pornography!”

Manager: “Are you sure about that? We don’t sell anything like that here.”

Angry Old Woman: “Do you think I’m stupid? I saw it with my own eyes! It had naked women and he told me he bought it here with no problem!”

Manager: “Could you show me on the shelf what it was?”

(She goes over to the magazines, and points at Maxim.)

Angry Old Woman: “It was this one! See right here! Where any child could see!”

Manager: “Ma’am, this magazine is not pornography. Granted, the women are scantily clad in a few pictures but they aren’t naked and there is no age restriction on its sale.”

Angry Old Woman: “I know pornography when I see it, and this is very offensive. How could you sell it to young children?”

Manager: “Well, actually our store policy dictates that we won’t sell this to a young child even though it is still legal. How old is your grandson?”

Angry Old Woman: “He’s only sixteen!”

Manager: *rolls eyes* “I don’t want to offend your moral beliefs, Ma’am, but if your sixteen year old grandson wants to look at women in bikinis there is no force on earth that is going to stop it, seriously.”

Angry Old Woman: “The power of Jesus can stop it! The power of Christ should compel you to remove this magazine from your shelves!”

Manager: “Right…real quick, ma’am, before I get back to work, can I ask you a question? Does your grandson have internet access?”

Angry Old Woman: “What does that have to do with anything?”

Manager: “A lot, and I think that the power of Christ should compel you to learn how to look up his browser history. Have a good day.”



*dies*
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old May 27, 08
NinjaBoy's Avatar
Full moon Sway
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangle View Post
True, but it's also the first thing you'd find out if you actually did any research into the product you're trying to buy. Most of the population doesn't research anything before they do it, and, since everyone has the internet, there's no excuse for that except laziness and/or stupidity.
Yeah, research... like asking the local person at the music store who was hired to help and educate customers...
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