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Coffee Lounge Talk amongst other community members. |
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Cheez-y pick up lines
we know you have 'em, wither you've used them or you've heard them from someone else, let's here 'em
heres some from me and jenna : - "nice legs.... when do they open?" - "do you work at subway? cuz you jsut gave me a footlong!" - "do your feet hurt? cuz you've been running around my head all day!" - "is your dad a terrorist? cuz your ass is da bomb!" |
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Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!!
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast! I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle. The only thing I want to come between our relationship is latex. I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings? Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here! Excuse me M'am, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grab her ass) Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread. |
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If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have a 5 cents.
Nice pants. Can I test the zipper? So long as we're in the theatre....why don't we get some play? If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you. We'll probably never see each other again, so let's screw. Can you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room. |
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He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you. He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did. Q: "May I have the directions to your heart?" A: "Yes,you make a left at 'Hell No' Ave. and leep going straight 'til you get to 'F.U.' Blvd. He: Your body is like a temple... She: Sorry, there are no services today. He: Can I put my beef in your taco? She: No sorry...I'm a vegitarian. He: Do you wanna dance? She: Yeah but not with you! He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants! He: I'd die happy if I saw you naked. She: I'd die laughing if I saw you naked! He: Hey baby, do you wanna go to my place and hang out (wink wink) She: No, I'm going to my boyfriend's to hang out! (wink wink) He: The name's Bond, James Bond. She: The idea's lost, get lost! Q: Does beauty run in your family? A: It obviously doesn't in yours! Q: What's your name sexy? A: Taken! Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? A: Yeah, but this time don't stop! He: Haven't we met before? She: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic. He: So wanna go back to my place? She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? He: I'd like to call you. What's your number? She: It's in the phone book. He: But I don't know your name. She: It's in the phone book too! He: So what do you do for a living? She: Female impersonator. Q: What sign were you born under? A: No Parking. He: So how do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilized! Q: What are you looking at? A: Oh. I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken. In reply to No, thank you: Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you! He: I'd really like to get into your pants. She: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there! Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here. A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I! He: So, baby, your place or mine? She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine! He:Your legs go clear up to your ass. She: Most peoples do! Q: Can I buy you a drink? A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! He: I know how to please a woman. She: Then please leave me alone. He:I want to give myself to you. She: Sorry, I don`t accept cheap gifts. "Haven`t I seen you some place before?" Response: "Yeah, that`s why I don`t go there anymore." "You look like a dream." Response: "Go back to sleep." "I can tell that you want me." Response: "Yes, I want you to leave." "Hey, baby, what`s your sign?" Response: "Do not enter...or stop." He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world? Q: Is this seat empty? A: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. "I can see forever in your eyes." Response: "But all I can see is never in yours." "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" Response: "No I think your excess weight is taking all the air!" "If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together." Response: "That is if you could, but unfortunately you can't!" "I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included." Response: "Thanks! Hey I saw your name next to filthy." |
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beavis and butthead
Uh, hey baby. Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come." You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever. Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it. Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby. What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh. Would you like carry my books for me? If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me? I can make you feel like I've never had sex before. My lips are registered weapons. I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it? If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public. If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree. If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine. If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down. Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for. Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me? You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it. |
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becoming a player
"Why don't you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?" "If you were a booger I'd pick you first." "I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button." "Come on sweetheart, why don't you just let me put the head in..." - what a classic "Mind if i stand here until it's safe where i farted" - submitted by Barry Thickk "You must wash your clothes with windex... because I can see myself in your pants!" - submitted by "The Richmiester" "Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No? Want to go upstairs and talk?" "Excuse me, is your name Gillette? cause you're the best a man can get" - submitted by B.J.F "I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you" - submitted by B.J.F "Wanna go halves on a bastard???" (Non-serious) - submitted by NeoPlasmaX "Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?" First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say "I'm sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream!" - submitted by Jason "The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my crib and spread the word." "I'm not actually this tall, I've got this bad habit of sitting on my wallet." "Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!" "Excuse me. Do you want to f**k or should I apologize?" "I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so... you might as well be there." "What's your name? Where you from? Do you plan on giving me some?" - submitted by DZINERLUV "Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway." "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?" "What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply." "Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours." You say "Do you want to do a 68?" she says "What's that?" you say "You go down, and I'll owe you one." "Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "f**k it". " "Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" "Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under." "Sex is like Pringles: once you pop, you can't stop. " "Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it. " "Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart." "The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name. " "Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room." "I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down." "What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long?" (smile and wink) "I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast." "Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?" "I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears. " "Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?" "I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good." "If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?" "What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?" "You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad." you say "You look just like my first wife" she says "How many times have you been married?" you say "never". "If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever. " "you say "I'm sorry, but you owe me a drink" she says "Why?" you say "Because I dropped mine when I looked at you" "If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit! " "If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world." "Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? " "When God made you, he was showing off." "If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. " "My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?" "When I'm older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. " "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." "Do you remember when you were a little kid and you wanted a toy really bad when you went to the store, but your mom wouldn't let you get it, no matter how much you begged?? Well that's how I feel about you." "It's not my fault I fell in love, you're the one who tripped me! " "Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change? " "Love ain't nothin' but sex misspelled. " "I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours? " "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?" "Hey baby, is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would like to tap that ass! " "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" "How about you come sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that "pops" up!" "If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?" "Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?" |