WWIII-won by the UKG scene?

[jmzD]

In these troubled times, world leaders and oppressive dictators everywhere are crying out for solutions to global conflict. We know a lot of presidents, prime ministers and tyrants out there religiously read RWD, so we have put together a comprehensive guide to winning World War 3 UKG style...

1. Never mind all the nuclear bollocks: Form a crew.
Everyone knows crews are the hardest people on earth. Nuclear weapons and oppressive regimes are no match for a rabble of tuff talking MCs in matching Avirex coats. George Bush and the ‘More Oil Crew’ clashing Saddam and the ‘So Scudded’ Family at a huge rave in the UN building in New York would sort the men from the boys one time.

2. Start your own station.
The media can be your strongest allies or worst enemies during a war. So why risk it! Start your own pirate! By pumping out the latest extremist beats on ‘Al Qaeda 100fm’ or bussin’ some heavy country and western on ‘Demented hick oil-spiv radio’ your sure to win the hearts of the people and brainwash the masses into needlessly destroying other human beings in the name of greed and power. Bo!

3. Chemical warfare.
Forget anthrax attacks on the US. Forget sanctions that kill half a million innocent Iraqi people. If you really wanna get the opposition where it hurts, then mess with their drugs. By simply getting to your arch rival’s supply of bolivian marching powder and cutting it with whatever crap you can lay your hands on, before long they will be so disorientated, paranoid and confused, they won’t even be able to tie their shoes by themselves let alone wage war.
Also by distributing really strong Es for free on the streets of your own country, you’ll soon have an ‘up for it’ army who feel like they’ve known ya your whole life, love ya and are bang up for having it large with the opposition. Sorted!

4. Let the enemy know you’re flossing.
Wars are all about fronting, so ditch the grey suits/military uniforms/dirty old robes and get your god-damn swerve on! By fronting at all times in Mosch, Versace and Prada with some iced out chaps and platinum teeth, you’ll beat the enemy both in the trenches and on the catwalk. And more importantly, look better than them at P.Diddy’s next party...

5. Defect to the other side.
When it looks like its going tits up for a UKG artist, it’s not uncommon for them to defect to another crew. So if you do think you might be on the back foot, just jump ship! Join the other side whole-heartedly, before long everyone will accept you and forget where you came from. Or if you think you can’t cut it in the scene no matter what team you’re on, play the final UKG trump card and simply claim you were an R&B artist all along! It’s that simple! So grab your mic and your records, soon the world will be yours and all these imitators and fassi-o’s will be at your feet. Realise!!!

[jmzD]

oh yeah...

[Sammy Skillz]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH best evvvvvver....

UKG4LIFE, playah. thuggin it UKG stylezzzzzz.

besides, everyone knoes that if this were to happen, me and MY crew the Face-Breaking Crew would take over the world. trust.


caitlin lets suit up in our crew's uniform...akademiks and guici.