jaded writing

[stranger]

heres a poem i wrote, tell me if your like it.


today summer turned to fall
i remember the radiating warmth
that once enveloped me.
im left feeling jaded,
and lost.

Back to the routine.
another day, another game
all so trivial.
all so frivelous.
the same animalistic scene.
egos collide.
I am lost in this world,
I have no place.

But my sun which guided me
like the north star,
has set on the horizon.
She once comforted me
in such stressful times.
i have no release.
my thoughts silenced,
i hold on to my sanity
and take away my voice

wiltering flower, my sun grows cold.
wrap myself in my blanket to strengthen,
that in which i hold dear to my heart.
And pray for the day
that spring brings back,
my lover to me.
my angel in my soul.
my heart that makes me warm.
The three things i lost
when summer turned to fall.

[junglequeen]

interesting but the last paragraph didnt seem to tie in
it needs to be developed earlier - the idea of three losses that is

i like that the north star is personified