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Nov 28, 01
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Psychiatric help
I was talking to my good friend Liza last night about a party that I had gone to with her on last Friday. We had been drinking and had both had about enough between the two of us…everyone there was a bit tipsy.
But anyhow that’s not the point I was trying to get at. You see… I see myself as a different person then what I was say last year. Weather that’s my choice, or im hiding it from myself, or im growing up its unknown to me. I guess to explain it a bit im a bit more reserved then what I used to be. I don’t say the things I used to say…im less bouncy. The point is when I drink I end up being that person again. I end up doing or saying thing that I know deep down inside are embarrassing and you know at the time it doesn’t bother me…and I know that everyone is going to say that yes, people do change when they drink/do drugs. But does it bother people all the time??? I mean its like ill be at a party and I wont really do anything and ill think back on the night and just wish I hadn’t been there. I must say that I am a lot more self-conscious then I was three months ago and I don’t know why. So no it’s not all about doing drugs or drinking it’s the way I feel when I do thing. It just makes me think that the way I act bothers people. Maybe that people wont like me for who I really am. Some one care to explain what I am feeling? And why did this only happen like three months ago??? 
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Nov 28, 01
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But being under the influence is no excuse. Its understandable if its done once, but many times its kinda the persons own fault. When mistakes are made there are consequences. Sometimes the person is lucky enuff to get a way with there own stupidity. U know what I sometimes think people get drunk for attention. These people shouldn't get attention, but they do from a small amount of people. These people are kind people who get taken advantage of. Why do people get drunk and high? Lets be honest. Not cuz licor is good its cuz there uncomfortable with themselves.:035:
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Nov 28, 01
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I think that reason u have changed is because of all of the things that u have experienced in this 3 month of ur life. U have probably done so much in these short month then u have done in any other part of ur life. Change is good no matter what it is ... it is what u do w/ it that deterimes if it will be good or bad for u and the ppl around u. The fact that ppl might not like the way u have become is their fault it shouldn't matter what they think because it's u who has to deal with this not them .... and i think that u should just forget about them because they are probably in the same place they were three month ago.
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Nov 29, 01
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You know what?
It IS in you to be bouncy and open, the way you were a few months ago. If alcahol brings it out in you, then that means it's still in you. That's a big misconception with all types of drugs. Some people like the way they act when they're on a drug, and they think that the only way they can BE that way is by using that drug. They're wrong. Whatever the drug brings out in them is in them anyways, and it CAN be brought out. I found that out myself. I used to use crystal back in the summer of 2000. I liked what it did to me. it gave me an edge in my personality, it gave me self confidence. or at least I THOUGHT it was giving me all that. But I learned that that was all inside me anyways, and that I didn't need shit to bring it out. Now I am pretty much the way I was on crystal, (minus the unnatural sketchiness of course). It just goes to show. If you like the way you are when you're drunk, then, with some time, you CAN make yourself act more that way normally. It's not something that happens over night, but it can be done. I feel like I'm rambling now, so I'm going to shut up. I hope this all made sense. (damn you alcohol)
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Nov 29, 01
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I get drunk and high because I like the way it makes me feel. PURE OUTRIGHT HEDONISM. Dispute that. ][nkster
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Nov 29, 01
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You are growing older and processing more of your environment at once. The scope of your thinking is expanding and you are taking a lot more into consideration when making your choices. The way you understand cause & effect is deepening.
You are seeing and feelings things you've never felt before. You may be having certain "realisations" or "feelings" for the very first time (i'm speculating) or foreign emotions that you aren't sure what to do with yet. When you first realise this is going on, you might get depressed or confused about what happened to your simple joyful outlook, and long for the "bouncy" days when the opinions of others mattered less. With your ID growing in complexity, what you seem to miss is actually becoming your "inner child". You still have it in you. And though artificial means may offer roads back to those feelings, they are only short lived blindfolds. You are going to have to embrace and discover this new person you are becoming. Once you do, you'll find natural paths to bring out the person you thought you lost. Spiritually, one could say that you are developping a greater sense of karma, and there's nothing wrong with that, as your are only the sum of your thoughts. Everything will eventually fall into place, you probably just need to "go with the flo" for a little while as you put these new pieces together. Pertinent discussions with close trusting friends will most certainly help. It's all good. Cheers Lace :Kimmie:
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Nov 29, 01
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as for girly here, why dont you try a sober month and see how you are feeling afterwards.. feel free to ship me any alcohol and whatnot you get passed your way. i could use the extra money selling them to minors..
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Nov 29, 01
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thanx so much but.....
i really dont feel that im changing to be a better person and a diffrent person...im more self-concious then i used to be and i dont think that its a positive thing. and why would it happen so fast...i was talking to another friend tonite and he had said something about something really wrong happening in my life that effected my life and made me put up a wall...im thinking it must all come down to me finding out what that is.
or i could just being going mental and be very deeply depressed
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Nov 30, 01
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Surez there's times I wish certain things about me could be changed...But knowing it can't be done...I would do anything to be taller...*sigh* But this is who I am and what makes me...I've learned to accept this fact and move on with life...I'm very comfortable with who I am now...Of course there will be times I'll be uncomfortable with myself...I'll say things like I wish I was bigger...skinnier? etc...But more often than not I am comfortable with my body and who I am... I think it's unfair to say people drink and do drugs cause their uncomfortable with who they are?? I personally pop to enhance the experience of a party...I have go sober a few times and plan to continuelly do that...But point of this is that I don't think people who drink and do drugs are uncomfortable with themselves...Maybe a small % do...But not majority of people...
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Nov 30, 01
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Well hope things work out Megan...You know that your able to sort things out and find the real you and stuff...
If you ever need anything or someone to talk to...You have my # :Kimmie:
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Nov 30, 01
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Hmm.. what DJ4mula said..
I agree/disagree with that.. to an extent.. some ppl do drink and do drugs because they're uncomfortable with themselves.. But not everyone does. Most ppl do it because they like to. They like how they hfeel or what it does, etc, etc. Not because they're uncomfortable with themselves. But there are also some ppl out there who i know do it because they are uncomfortable..and by drinking or whatever it helps them loosen up and just have more fun. Enough bout that tho.. I don't really know what to say... I mean what you do when your drunk, or what you say.. it's all just coming natural. It's just the alcohol makes you lose your inhibitions.. so you get this confidence really, you don't care so you'll just say it.. or act that way. But it's how you are deep down. It's just it's hidden normally. I know with me, it's something I'm dealing with.. but when I've been drinking.. or something.. I'll say things to ppl.. not mean things.. okies sometimes their mean, but they're all things I actually mean. It's just I can't bring myself to s ay it normally. I try to be more confident but it doesn't work. So, if your like that when you drunk, your prolly still like that. Just when your sober now, they'res something holding it back. Maybe a problem on your mind.. or something that's happened lately... ya i know this post was pretty pointless.. i'm not too sure what to say... it's all been said I guess.. Just, you are going to change from how you were a few months ago. Things are constantly happening, more experience, more knowledge.. and all these things will change you.. to a certain extent... i know this was pointless.. but i dunno.. just felt like saying it. I hope you get things figured out for yourself and back on track.. =]
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Nov 30, 01
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its the whole thing that i dont like myself when i drink..i dont like the person who comes out..
and you know what... its not even about me drinking...or drugs.. its about how i feel...i thought about it and even when im sober that i look back on a day gone by and wish i hadnt been there...or said something or just that i hadnt been there.. argh!! nevermind!
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Nov 30, 01
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In most cases that I hear about, people drink/do drugs, they START OFF because it is fun, but then they do it too much and it develops into a need/dependency.
Don't let this happen to you. It's not fun needing a chemical to keep yourself happy.. Shrug? But depression doesn't usually SUDDENLY show up, if you are 'clinically depressed' you will probably find that you have been that way your whole life, kind of putting a damper on things. Maybe you have S.A.D [Seasonal Affective Disorder] Something that tends to get people down in winter, the darker months of the year. Well whatever it is, keep control of yourself, and don't have too much substance abuse. >:) zarlon
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Dec 01, 01
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Quote:
My god, you just put the entire point into one answer. Nice!
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Dec 01, 01
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I don't think you're depressed. I think your just having a series of self realisations. It can be confusing at times no matter who you are. That's why I think it might be a good idea to go hang out with some of your close friends and talk about it. Not in a problem searching sense, just a general introspective to get a better bearing on things.
Cheers. Lace :Kimmie:
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