Sep 05, 04
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^yeah his brother is krusha!
good luck on trying to chuck it all over his face guy! 
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Sep 05, 04
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DJMarkPaul - you write some crazy stuff sometimes; crazy like, "i don't know what the fuck you're talking about" stuff.
This was pretty interesting though. I got the impression the rhyme scheme wasn't the focus of this, it works in some places, it's weaker in others but overall a nice affect. If you're happy with what you've written, fuck everyone else. It's not something that's gonna go down in history as a literatary masterpiece, but it aint shite either, in my mind anyway. The only beef i'll mention is using words/references like Quote:
Good job. Keep writing. -max
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Sep 05, 04
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Quote:
hahahahaha thats funny,in a creepy kind of way.
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Sep 07, 04
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Goat: Thanks man, you don't know how right you are!
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Sep 07, 04
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.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
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Sep 10, 04
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^Just a clever name I see, go home smarty pants.
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Sep 10, 04
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Hey Mark...
I don't get it either. I googled Mach 33 and found nothing significant. Care to elaborate on it a bit? Oh, and as a side note, you posted this here, and opened it for critisizm... Nothing is perfect, so quit your whining. It's ALWAYS worth your while to hear out other people's suggestion. I do agree with everyone, that, for a WRITTEN piece, the rhyme scheme could use some work. Spoken as word however, I imagine the rhyming goes over a bit better. But yah. Don't be a bonehead.
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