A little something

[LiveOnJim]

Alright this is something i wrote quite awhile ago, I've been writing for awhile but I never really share my stuff... I was going through a stage where I was quite anti-social so it would explain the vibe of the writing.As I walk down the tunnel of black
The small black buldge from my ears says, “ I wish I could eat your cancer”
I don’t hear the world but only see it
I feel my stomach turn as I watch humanity
I have become death and the world is now the destroyer
Still my feet patter down the cold hard cement of society
Being watched, being trained, being taught
Only of what others see is right and “cool”
Only to be blinded with thousands of hands over your eyes
You feel the clamminess of their palms but now they’ll never leave
You cannot escape what they have created
I can see what many others don’t
I burned the blindfold of ignorant society
They fought and I won
The prize a truly free life of individuality

[Ragga_Wh0re]

.emo.

im so fucking sick of reading such sullen poetry.

even the most ugliest emotions can be better articulated then that.


poetry like this flashes images of self mutilation through my head and black eye liner whilst fall out boy plays faintly in the background.

[tiedye]

it's not a poorly written poem, but she's right. . . depressing poems are lame. It's too easy to be negative.

[cutienikki]

Yea but she explained at the top that she was going through kind of an "emo" state. So you can't really sit there and call her emo when she already said she was.

[Euro Dollar]

Flowers for the poet!

[LiveOnJim]

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

.emo.

im so fucking sick of reading such sullen poetry.

even the most ugliest emotions can be better articulated then that.


poetry like this flashes images of self mutilation through my head and black eye liner whilst fall out boy plays faintly in the background.

Well first off if you would have read what i wrote at the top , then trying to come off as a smart ass, and pretend like you know so much about poetry, you claim your work is intensive,inspiring when all you can do is slam other peoples stuff, second this is a thread where people can put any of there writings , I would highly doubt you would take into consideration your stuff, its hard being a emotional prego bitch that can redicule everyone else b ut themselves. You think my stuff is shit? Well why dont you ask the poet I took classes with and asked me if she could publish my writings, emo stuff is lame hey man at least I have emotion about how really shitty people can be , wow maybe this poem isn't just commen sense about half the fucks that don't even know what writing is. You claim emo isn't anything what do you think half of the worlds poems are written on, I really could care less of what you say considering you just make this more of a poem but reality, ragga whore go find a blow up doll to take all of your low self esteem out on it , its not my problem you don't know what a birth control pill or condom is. Do me a favor and piss off!

[Ms.Tarantula]

Originally Posted by Euro Dollar

Flowers for the poet!

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHHAA

omg omg

hahahahahahha

[tiedye]

nicely done, LiveOnJim

[Ms.Tarantula]

LiveOnJim: I actually quite liked it....

she just gave her OPINION on your writing.

and then you personally attacked her about her pregnancy.

it takes balls to post creative writing on fnk.. we all know that, so kudos to you for doing it. but dont expect negative feedback, whether its given in a harsh tone or not.

[cutienikki]

Originally Posted by tiedye

nicely done, LiveOnJim

yea man she knows how to slam people back she dont take shit from anyone. :) that's why i love her shes just one big bitch if you get into her face

Good Job man!

[LiveOnJim]

Originally Posted by Ms.Tarantula

LiveOnJim: I actually quite like it.

Thanks Ms. Tarantula and Tiedye :)

[cutienikki]

Originally Posted by LiveOnJim

Thanks Ms. Tarantula and Tiedye :)

and me too :(


Regga_Whore: what do you THINK is poetry?

[Ragga_Wh0re]

poetry is fucking redundant,this "piece" is a prime example of how fucking redundant poetry is.

liveonjim,the way you got your panties in such a wad and proceeded to personally attack me just goes to show how fucking insecure you are about your writing and it also goes to show that you have no fucking confidence in your writing at all.It also goes to show that deep beneath that facade youve so carefgully created you know your work is shit and that youre lackluster at best!

oooh some fucking writer that comes a dime a dozen asked to publish your shit work!let me grovel at your feet and exault thee.

I roll my eyes in your general direction you insignificant fleck of fecal matter.

show me some real talent pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!for the love of christ!

[Ragga_Wh0re]

ps:

im not pregnant anymore:)

[Ms.Tarantula]

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

poetry is fucking redundant,this "piece" is a prime example of how fucking redundant poetry is.

liveonjim,the way you got your panties in such a wad and proceeded to personally attack me just goes to show how fucking insecure you are about your writing and it also goes to show that you have no fucking confidence in your writing at all.It also goes to show that deep beneath that facade youve so carefgully created you know your work is shit and that youre lackluster at best!

oooh some fucking writer that comes a dime a dozen asked to publish your shit work!let me grovel at your feet and exault thee.

I roll my eyes in your general direction you insignificant fleck of fecal matter.

show me some real talent pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!for the love of christ!

I hope your child inherits your wits. <3

[cutienikki]

Are you really mad at her because of the fact she keeps slamming you about ur life or because her poems "suck" ....

u know this is fnk, not worlds best poems...and the fact is that you should relize is that okay maybe people arn't good at writing "properly" to YOUR standards however everyone is different. If you don't like her writing then dont fucking read it. Plain and simple. Again if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all really.

Yes criticism (sp?) is important however its how you express urself...we bitch at you because of the way you express yourself for bitching at us for how we express ourselves even if its "emo" or whatever...

people tend to sterotype shit when they don't understand it.

[Ms.Tarantula]

Originally Posted by cutienikki

Are you really mad at her because of the fact she keeps slamming you about ur life or because her poems "suck" ....

u know this is fnk, not worlds best poems...and the fact is that you should relize is that okay maybe people arn't good at writing "properly" to YOUR standards however everyone is different. If you don't like her writing then dont fucking read it. Plain and simple. Again if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all really.

Yes criticism (sp?) is important however its how you express urself...we bitch at you because of the way you express yourself for bitching at us for how we express ourselves even if its "emo" or whatever...

people tend to sterotype shit when they don't understand it.

they are BOTH bitching at EACHOTHER for the way they express themselves.

[LiveOnJim]

Originally Posted by Ms.Tarantula

LiveOnJim: I actually quite liked it....

she just gave her OPINION on your writing.

and then you personally attacked her about her pregnancy.

it takes balls to post creative writing on fnk.. we all know that, so kudos to you for doing it. but dont expect negative feedback, whether its given in a harsh tone or not.

Oh yeah i completly understand that, but you dont think in any way shes being a hypacrit, most of my poems are about what I'm going through at the time or the feeling I'm having, or even a person that has so insprired me, so you don't think by her critisising my poem shes personally slamming me?

[LiveOnJim]

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

poetry is fucking redundant,this "piece" is a prime example of how fucking redundant poetry is.

liveonjim,the way you got your panties in such a wad and proceeded to personally attack me just goes to show how fucking insecure you are about your writing and it also goes to show that you have no fucking confidence in your writing at all.It also goes to show that deep beneath that facade youve so carefgully created you know your work is shit and that youre lackluster at best!

oooh some fucking writer that comes a dime a dozen asked to publish your shit work!let me grovel at your feet and exault thee.

I roll my eyes in your general direction you insignificant fleck of fecal matter.

show me some real talent pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!for the love of christ!

What are you just jealous that I was offered it and you weren't that must bug you dosent it?, why because you sit here for days on in now that you have time and "write", you dont even know what writing means to alot of people and to sit here and make a opinion about everything you see is wrong, if you like to act like a publisher get off your ass and stop choking on your words. And you want some talent why dont you watch some tv shows like Americas got talent because to me talent is wearing sparkle shoes and singing on stage talent has nothing to do with poetry I have no fucking idea where a "writer" would ever consider talent soooo important, if anything I just think your insecure about your writing on how everytime someone posts something I dont think I've ever seen you write something nice, I think you have lack of insparation and your too narrowminded to write, you have to keep an open mind not open legs, remember I've told you that before. And I remember how awhile ago you sat there and called me a member of the machine hey well I thinking the only machine I'm from is not the one that is nearly as big and materialistic as yours.

[LiveOnJim]

[quote=cutienikki]and me too :(


Of course you man, *GIVE ME SOME CHEDDAR!!*

[cutienikki]

[quote=LiveOnJim]

Originally Posted by cutienikki

and me too :(


Of course you man, *GIVE ME SOME CHEDDAR!!*

CHEDDAR! :D

[Ragga_Wh0re]

wqe`regoin down down la-loo-la-le-ra and shuggah we`re goin down swinging!ill be youre numba1 wit a bullet,loaded hand gun YEAH COCK IT AND PULL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





hypocrite

one who puts on a mask and feigns himself to be what he is not; a dissembler in
religion. Our Lord severely rebuked the scribes and Pharisees for their
hypocrisy (Matt. 6:2, 5, 16). "The hypocrite's hope shall perish" (Job 8:13).
The Hebrew word here rendered "hypocrite" rather means the "godless" or
"profane," as it is rendered in Jer. 23:11, i.e., polluted with crimes.

I dont see how im being hypocritical?

[Ragga_Wh0re]

can you logically explain to me how Im materialistic because i said you blow nads at writing?

Im having issues trying to wrap my noodle round that one lemme tell ya!

[LiveOnJim]

hahahaha omg I seriously don't remember the lastf time I've laughed so hard, you actually had to look up in the dictionary what hypacritical meant , lmfao goes to show you where you find of your wits up your ass! I feel bad for people who rely on the dictionary! And as for the whole machine thing look up on cutienikki's thread "if only" your trying to rap your noodle around it ?? Your the one that said it to me first , stop trying to make excuses up for yourself face it low life you will never get past the shit under my shoe

[LiveOnJim]

And as for making mockery of people who actually do slit there wrists, thats gone way to far your a pretty nasty person if your lead to do that, one of these days thats going to come back and haunt you , I believe in karma and one of these days and something bad is going to happen to you or maybe even your child so if i were you instread of being a mother who will critisize maybe something her child might become one day , take it as your last breath and do soemthing good to help your karma points not bury yourself deeper, get over it you'll never become and accomplish half of what i have , just shows how low you can get when you make fun of someone that you might have had a dealing hand in with what they do to themselves.