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May 13, 01
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could it be love....?
Well anyways i'll start by saying at winterlove i met this girl named Sarah .It seems that it would be difficult to form any type of relationship with her though because she lives in Kamloops B.C This weekend i went up to Kamloops to see her and also spend Mother's day with my brother and his wife who live in Kamloops.All i have to say about my weekend is that Saturday night i went over to Sarah's house to party a little and spin (and what happened was simply amazing.This girl is one of the most blessed persons i've ever met she is surrounded by some of the most genuine people i've ever met as well. Anyways after the night was over i couldn't fall asleep because i couldn't stop thinking about her and when i woke up she was the first thing on my mind.Today i was able to chat with her a little and what i found out crushed me momentarilly inside,it turns out she has a boyfriend in Calgary....
Well normally this would instantly turn me off but i believe in my heart that i feel destined to be with this person.I now have told myself that her relationship might not last long and that one day i will have my chance.What can i say, i'm dumbfounded when i'm around her, everything logical about my thinking disappears and all i can do when i'm around her is act on my emotions.As i was leaving in the morning i cried..i thought that for the longest moment my heart had gone numb and i was no longer able to feel these strong emotions but meeting this girl has given me colour again to my dull world.As i return home i have left a piece of my heart in Kamloops...please take care of it Sarah i'm coming back for it some day. 
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May 13, 01
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holy fuck
ur a lucky mother fucker! I wish I could have enotions like that....the only time I've recently cried is when I was breaking up with my gf and she was tellin me how she truly loved me and all this nice stuff and she truly meant it....I got teary eyed cause I didn't care....fuckin makes u feel like shit....well hope destiny works out for u....
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May 14, 01
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Is it really dusty in here or what?
Jack-ass reply:
(not to be taken seriously*) Aww Pete found a new love.... Just flood her with gifts and chocolate and sweet messages... Rack up your credit card to $10,000 on her and then stand firm when you say " You owe me" ....LOL Sincere Lex reply: Thats cool man. Sometimes people meet someone who they want to be with and it really can change the course of their life. I know in some scenarios you'd be willing to almost give up anything. Keep on it Pete and give this one a 100% effort. Find out what's up with this other guy so u don't step on anyones toes. Over & Out ~Lex :D
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May 14, 01
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hey pete was this the gurl who was in the van with us? anyways all i can say is to be there for her......and when/if they do break up she'll remember that u have been there for her......have u told her how u feel? if u did ouch......if not then yeah become good friends and share things......like really secretive stuff.....it'll show her that u have trust in her......all these things will help out in the future.....hopefully....hope that helped
-adam
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May 14, 01
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whoa.
that sends chills down my spine reading, especially the last part. "As i return home i have left a piece of my heart in Kamloops...please take care of it Sarah i'm coming back for it some day. "
pete. i dont know much about love, or anything. but sounds like you feel something reallly special is between you 2.. so just hold on to it for a while and see what happens... just dont let it get to you too much.... neko dont know what to say. so i go.
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May 16, 01
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well i realized...
That maybe she doesn't feel the same way as i do, maybe i was being treated so nicely because i'm a dj from Vancouver.I didn't take any of this into consideration( cuz i always look at myself as being plain old Pete).I guess my feelings were so strong for her because i thought that she felt the same way about me.Maybe it was just a facade and that she just likes me just as a buddy in Van.
Maybe i guess i'll never know till she tells me...:032:
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May 20, 01
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Once again
Well it seems that all i am to her is a friend(she's planning on moving to Calgary to be with her boyfriend ),still has meaning sort of but i now know why people aren't as emotional as i am it just doesn't work.Slowly the child in me dies as i grow older and colder....:032:
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May 20, 01
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Sniff Sniff
I'm sorry to hear that Pete...I knew what she meant to you...and I knew you were hoping that she would come running to your arms...but life works in shitty ways sometimes...
I hate it most when you let your feelings get completely involved and you wish and pray (like you did when you were a child) and really nothing positive comes out of it. I guess I can say that I feel for you...I know what it feels like to really have your *soul* wanting/begging to be with that person...like you've found the last puzzle piece to finish your "life"...like you've finally found that individual that fills that void in your heart...right? But whatever you do...don't let the child die...never let the child die...the child inside of you is your passion, your spontaneity, your curiousity, and your drive for life... Big *hugs* to you...
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May 20, 01
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gahhhhhh
okay this is partly related to this topic. but with my own experience.. and.. uhh.. i just donnno if I wanna start a whole new thread on my own stupid experience.. so here I go rambling on... okay.. i just had the most incredible conversation with this guy.. and I just want to tear out my hair knowing that I had sumthing so great and I'll most likely never have it again... Sure I can Icq this guy, sure I could do that, only to be disappointed again.. juss to find out that he wasn't who i thought he would be... sum things are only meant to be for the moment... and maybe it's better to hold that memory of wut happened in ur "heart", and never even dare to try and get it back again... maybe it wuz just a wish granted only till 12 midnite, and after the 12th strike, everything just returns back to plain old rotting pumpkins, rats and cutlery.... (cinderella) AND IT HURTS SO BAD CUZ GUYS LIKE THAT ARE SO RARE!! don't wanna settle for the "next best thing" any more...
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May 21, 01
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I'm so sorry to hear that things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to hun. I know what it feels like to want to be with someone, but not be able to. I guess I just made the person closest to me feel this too recently. I broke up with my boyfriend last week, and it felt HORRIBLE. It really made me feel like I wanted to die, seeing how badly I hurt him. I care about him so much, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was be the reason for his pain. We're best friends now, and we still talk everyday...but every single time I hear his voice, think about him, or even do the things that we used to do/go to the places that we used to go, it hurts really badly. I've never been the one to hurt in a relationship. I've always been the hurt one. And this time, it was different, and I can honestly say that I HATE IT.
Give yourself time, and you will heal. I'm sure you'll find an amazing girl someday soon, that you will love to death, and she'll do the same to you. Just from reading your posts, I can see that you're a really genuine person, and you deserve to be with someone that appreciates you fully. Good luck hun!
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