Sean, go talk to your doc!!and see how it is... explain to him/her everything.. even tell them that you have 'experimented' with drugs and so on, cause they cant tell anyone cause its breaks their confidential thinggy..(I cant think of the name of it)... also!Think about last year.. were you in the exact same state last year and so on..cause if you were like this last year at the same time it could be seasonal depression of some sort!
but about the bitter and jaded thing.. I dont quite see it in you, but then again.. I dont hang out with you much, heck! Irarely see you even
so yeah.. but you could be over annalysing yourself.. and not know it! bah, I rarely annalyse how I am.. cause I dont like to and I had a friend tell me I'm a bitch and sooo jaded and shit... then I realized it and sorta changed.. but not really.. so it could be working for ya in another way.
But yeha, I could probably type forever.. and I wont.. so yeah.. whatever.. you know the digits ;)