Friends after relationship?

[KrisisID]

How do you go about being friends after a relationship? I could never figure this out. How long after the breakup (that you would end) would you call back to hang out? or would you call?

[-evil-duerr-]

Originally Posted by KrisisID

How do you go about being friends after a relationship? I could never figure this out. How long after the breakup (that you would end) would you call back to hang out? or would you call?

you wanna talk to the girl? call her.
but you better make sure there is no more tension left, or else you are just gonna score yourself an agonizingly awkward evening/afternoon.

[MissMarz]

ummm i say def a wait a little while before attempting to be friends again.
it depends on how long u were together and how deep u were in it...

also depends if u even want to be friends with the person.. and if its mutual...

for all u know u may want to be friends, but your ex hates your guts... in that case... just let it go... let it go!

but if u do want to be friends... take it slow.. and stick to group settings at first so you're not pressured to hang the whole time...

there's also the occasion where you might end up hooking up again just because thats what you're used to... and imo - that almost NEVER works out. its just a viscious circle...

[MissMarz]

obviously....
i just made the same mistake recently... got back with an ex...
mmmmmm that lasted not even 24 hrs lol.
they're an ex for a reason

[NinjaBoy]

Originally Posted by -evil-duerr-

you wanna talk to the girl? call her.
but you better make sure there is no more tension left, or else you are just gonna score yourself an agonizingly awkward evening/afternoon.

Do not be afraid to use high fives to ease the tension. Multiple times per sentence if nessesary.

[-evil-duerr-]

why didnt I think of that?

duh, high fives!

[muzique9000]

It is possible, but you need time to decompress.. Get over the fact that the relationship is over first no matter who's at fault. Analyze it, yourself, and what you want to do now, and make yourself a better person from the mistakes you made (yes we make them), and *learn from them*.
Afterwards depending on your relationship i.e. you were married, bf\gf for years or whatever, just lay low, lick your wounds, and rise up from the ashes my friend!
Believe me the pressure will build up and someone will have to contact the other person (based on type of relationship you had), and if not, big deal. Keep moving ahead.

[TrixX]

my best friend in the whole world is my ex! we've had times where we haven't hung out as much and the more time goes on and the more people you meet and the more seperate your lives get the easier it gets. you either will fall back into the friendship or you won't. its not something either of us ever had to work on. we just love having each other around, i don't have as much fun with anyone in the world except for him!

[ebbomega]

Usually a decent amount of time apart is what's needed.
How much time? As much as it takes to get over them... Cuz if you're trying to hang out with them and be all pally-pal without being able to at least veil yourself as over them, drama is guaranteed to ensue. Note that veiling doesn't mean telling them a billion times that you're over them. In fact, that's surefire evidence that you're not.

[SEAN!]

sometimes it works sometimes it dosnt

TIME.

It really depends too on what happened with your relationship. If there is unfinished business or feelings to be let out than you will probably go through a roller coaster of drama trying to get it dealt with before you can actually be cool with each other again.

I don't think you can really set a set time either. I think what needs to be done by both parties is to restart your life with out that person. I think the hardest part about ending a relationship is the routine you had WITH that person and their constant presence. There fore keep them out of your life until you have fully managed to be your OWN person again with out depending on them.

[dj_soo]

just no

[Gusto]

as with any human relationship, it totally depends on the people involved. sometimes someone needs to apologize or someone needs to be forgiven. sometimes people are just dicks.

i've never had an issue being friends with an ex, but there is always a period where things need to be resolved first. it doesn't have to be a long time if you face the issues. but time does heal most wounds and sometimes just giving it time is enough.

[rawb]

I FIND THE BEST TIME TO ASK WHETHER YOU WANT TO TRY BEING FRIENDS IS DURING SEX WHILE YOU'RE STILL GOING OUT

[KrisisID]

thanks.

[Speechless]

"I think we should be friends."

"Friends with Privileges?"

"No... just friends."

"FUCK YOU BITCH!"

[Guineveire]

I think it really depends. I'm only friends with one of my exes who I was with for 3 years and even then, sometimes we piss eachother off. Not even in the jealous type way though, we're both happy for eahother finding new love, so I cant explain it.
Sometimes we go 2 months without talking and then play catch-up.

Like previous comments above it takes time. And I think healing too.

[GSG9]

it rarely works. i am only friends with one of my exes.. and i only keep her around cause shes a hairdresser.

other than that, it never works.

[wishbone]

the only ex-to-friends of mine are the ones that it was sort of a fling thing, or never got too serious but were still sort of involved.

The rest....well, even if they want to be friends, it's way too much work to make it happen. And really, what benefit will their friendship bring? /utilitarian

[veN]

Yeah... NO.

Some people make a go of it, but I've no desire to. I'm not angry or hurt anymore, so I practice civility when we cross paths (either online or IRL), but I have enough great friends who don't cause me grief/frustration. I'm with Yoko on the clean slate frame of mind.

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by dj_soo

just no

agreed. I think it's a bad idea.
I mean, if you dated for a couple of months, sure. But a significant, long-term relationship will most likely come along with faaaaaar too much baggage to have a healthy friendship afterwards.

[Revolver]

lovers are meant to be lovers.

friends are meant to be friends.

ive had alot of relationships over the years. one,extremely serious and close to marrige and others casual to semi-serious.

some of them i still talk to and see every once in a while but lately that feels more like exs keeping tabs on one another rather then real friendship. I find that the more time has passed, the more of a friend an ex can become.

but discussing relationships can be so subjective because everyone is different, and every relationship is different. theres no clear line about any "rules" to a relationship and thats why people get so wound up about relationships and spend thousands of dollars on books,seminars,self help ect.

so i say keep it seperate but dont be completely shut off or opposed to the idea....

...cause this guy sings the epic "HOW CAN WE BE LOVERS IF WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS"..and i heard he's done pretty good with women.

So for those of you who say "NO", does that mean no contact, out of my life, ill say hi, but dont really care what your doing in your life any more?

OR

Im over it, laugh at all the bad things, it was fun, im happy to talk, happy to listen, happy to hang out, I like to know how your doing and hope your well, and the only reason we dont hang out is because were so wrapped up in our own lifes and our own friend ship circles that we just dont have the time to keep in touch anymore.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by R Wellbelove

So for those of you who say "NO", does that mean no contact, out of my life, ill say hi, but dont really care what your doing in your life any more?

OR

Im over it, laugh at all the bad things, it was fun, im happy to talk, happy to listen, happy to hang out, I like to know how your doing and hope your well, and the only reason we dont hang out is because were so wrapped up in our own lifes and our own friend ship circles that we just dont have the time to keep in touch anymore.

I'd guess the former. The latter describes like 90% of the people I'd consider friends.

[Liqwid]

omg i'm sure theres a SACT about this......

ask carrie bradshaw