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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
Island Cookie
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
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Bad Temper?

Ugh.

I feel like I can go from totally calm to instant rage with very little provocation and it's becoming a really big issue with people I care about. Anyone have any good recommendations on how to keep calm?
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
sup?
 
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Meditation in the morning will do wonders for you. It's really hard to be affected by external influences when you've centred yourself beforehand. It also helps deal with any internal issues that could be affecting you.

Also, when you're getting angry, just close your eyes, breathe naturally, and count each breath (inhale 1, exhale 1, inhale 2, exhale 2...). You'll notice immediate improvement.
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Old Nov 28, 08
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Get a punching bag - boyfriends aren't suitable enough punching bags. I am kinda interested in taking some muay thai classes. Channel that rage and aggression into something else. Then again, it could just make you more aggressive and angry.
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
nope.
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
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i have the same problem, the drop in classes here are so useful:

Tilopa Buddhist Centre - Home
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
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Just don't get exposed to gamma rays, that will just make things way worse.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
not colbert
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco_Whore View Post
Ugh.

I feel like I can go from totally calm to instant rage with very little provocation and it's becoming a really big issue with people I care about. Anyone have any good recommendations on how to keep calm?
are u irish?

(bill o'reilly's on jon stewart right now. o'reilly's pure anger.)
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
Island Cookie
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
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^Nope, French.

It's going to sound sooo dorky but we came up with a "safe word" like people into S&M, so that if I'm starting to get really upset I say the safe word and they know to just back off for a few minutes so I can compose myself...

I think meditation/yoga could help a lot, I've really been lacking in those areas lately. Thanks!
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
nope.
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephen_c View Post
are u irish?
that is an unfair stereotype and i will kill you
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
i really look like this!
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
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I personally find that I lash out at people after I've allowed some things to build up over time. I find that it helps if I just gradually let out the steam by letting the people around me know exactly what's bothering me (calmly). If there is noone to talk to, I also write down my thoughts/feelings to help me organize my thought processes.

I also find exercising to be really therapeutic. When I'm pissed about something I'll do a really intense work-out on the stair climber and think it through. Then I'll do weights to release all that tension from my muscles.

Don't forget to do something nice for yourself. :) It always cheers me up when I cook for myself or tidy up my apartment. Self-pampering makes me feel better and cleaning/cooking can be therapeutic.
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
DONT BE BITTER BE BETTER
 
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yoga/breathing exercises help, but also remember to do a bit of self reflection to realize what your triggers are. it's really helped me when i can be like UGH I AM PISSED OFF AND HERE IS WHY EXACTLY BECAUSE MY VALUE SYSTEM IS LIKE THIS and then i can make a rational decision weather i am being mad for a real reason or i'm just being a crazy bitch.
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
dumb it down, would ya?
 
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i always find that killing a small animal helps out a lot.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
DONT BE BITTER BE BETTER
 
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hobo's are slower, easier, and more plentiful in urban areas.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
DESTROY EVERYTHING
 
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getting plowed on the regular usually helps most girls.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
'latinum respect.
 
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I have an extremely bad temper. I think there are so many preventative things you can do to curb your stresses and make you more relaxed like meditation/yoga/exercise/sex, but there's always that one moment when something can make you SNAP and turn into someone you don't even recognize.

You can find ways of teaching yourself to step away when you start feeling angry, like coming up with an image in your mind that makes you happy and feel calm (mine is an army of running pugs btw).

Sometimes despite all of our best efforts things will still happen that make you well up inside with rage. The best thing that I can pass on in that situation is to walk away. Walk away to find somewhere that you can be alone, without distractions and practice deep breathing through your nose into your belly for as long as it takes. What's worse than being angry is taking it out on someone you care a lot about and then feeling awful about it after.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
dumb it down, would ya?
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rawb View Post
hobo's are slower, easier, and more plentiful in urban areas.
i was going to suggest that but didn't want to come off as an asshole.

post script-you're an asshole!
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
taco.
 
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I don't have a temper, I do get frustrated with people a lot and I just try to explain myself to them, if it doesn't get better I just step away and deal with the fact that somethings just can't be resolved.

I need yoga, but it's just not in my budget right now.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
mapleleaf4ever's Avatar
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I have a bad temper but I stick with the ol' "Bottle it up and let it loose once every five years" method.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
'latinum respect.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrie View Post
I don't have a temper, I do get frustrated with people a lot and I just try to explain myself to them, if it doesn't get better I just step away and deal with the fact that somethings just can't be resolved.

I need yoga, but it's just not in my budget right now.
on yoga journal's website you can download free podcasts of yoga classes. their website even has video to go along with it in case you need a visual aid for the moves. you don't need to pay to do yoga :)
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
STOLE YOUR BIKE
 
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annoying
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
taco.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss.myra View Post
on yoga journal's website you can download free podcasts of yoga classes. their website even has video to go along with it in case you need a visual aid for the moves. you don't need to pay to do yoga :)
my place isn't yoga friendly, cats like to scratch the mat. =(

it's hard to relax when you spend your time stopping cats from being cats.

I am really working on my budget and in the new year I will try to add yoga. I have a gym membership and it's doing me good
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
not colbert
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robyn View Post
that is an unfair stereotype and i will kill you
lol. go kill the rats keepin u up at nite.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
tiestn vancorstenfold
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco_Whore View Post
Ugh.

I feel like I can go from totally calm to instant rage with very little provocation and it's becoming a really big issue with people I care about. Anyone have any good recommendations on how to keep calm?
1 word with 3 letters.
dub
or ambient

When im in a shit mood and I cant go diving. I turn on some ambient or just overall nature sounding CD's (ask Stevie, he's got tons!) puts me to sleep quickly and calms the blue ocean
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
not colbert
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
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k y'all, help me understand cuz i don't have a bad temper.

is it an inherited trait? do ur parents have bad tempers?
where's ur source of sudden anger comin from?
product of upbringin?
missin component in ur life?
too many disappointments?
an unhealthy life style?
cheap condoms?
migraines?
or somethin else?
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
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The answer to your question is "yes".

Nature vs. Nurture is one of the longest-standing debates in psychology. The best answer anybody has ever been able to give in the whole debate is that human behaviour is a result of BOTH.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old Nov 28, 08
DONT BE BITTER BE BETTER
 
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also if you are angering a lot it sounds like your overall stress level is very high.
like other people have said, physical exertion through sport or exercise helps not only keep you from being that girl, but also will make sure you never get a bootydo
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