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Feb 12, 03
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i dont understand...
i seriously dont get it. I have a billion problems going on right now, its just stupied. BUt i'm not going to get into detail on that.. those of u who know me know how bad it is.
For the past 6 months i have been telling my parents that i cant stand this town and that i need to get away (i live in campbell river) i just need a break from everything. For the longest time i tried to convince them to let me move to van. but they wont let me till i am 18 and/or have finished school. which i know isnt that long only like another 6 months or so. I have been getting super depressed latly, to the point where i wont talk and i will just sit in a corner in my room and stair at the wall and cry. They have made me go see a councler n stuff, but i really dont see how telling a complete stranger my problems is going to do me n e good. But i figured i would give it a try n e ways. I told her some stuff, just kinda sumed everything up, and u know what she said to me "u seem like a strong girl u can get through this" OMFG if i hear "ur a strong person" one more time i'm going to flip, even the strongest people have their weakest moments. So yeah, I was talking to my mom and i asked if i could go and stay with a friend in van for the rest of the month, because i just need some time to myself, i need time to figure stuff out and i cant do that here with everything thats going on. She knows how i feel and i understand why she wont let me move there and i have accpeted that. BUt now i ask her if i can go for a few weeks, and i highly doubt that she is going to let me go, she said that i wont want to come back. she right i probaly wont want to come back, but that doesnt mean that i'm not going to come back .. i just REALLY REALLY need this. I dont understand why she wont let me go, i home school so i can bring it with me, she let my sister go to Japan for 10 days when she was 11 and she let her go to italy for a year when she was 15. In march my 11 year old bro is going to Japan for 10 days, but she wont let me go to vancouver for more then 6 days!! i just dont get it. Everyone else gets to escape but me, she said i can go on an exchange if i want, but at this point in my life i dont want to. I dont understand... all i am asking for is some time to myself, some time to figure out how to live in my world that has been crumbling apart for the past 2 years. I just need some time... Am i asking for to much or being completely un-reasonable? 
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Feb 12, 03
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Well your mom may see this 'staying with a friend' thing.. not a 'get away and be with your thoughts' thing. Just a lets go out and party thing. And she has every right to think that, cause what do you do when you comeout here? You go to a Rave. From what I've seen and read. If you were to ask her if you could stay in a hotel or a hostle for the week and just relax and get your thoughs together.. she may see that diffrently..
Sure you may have explain to your mom that you are just gonna reflect on your thoughts the whole time, but who's to say thats what your gonna do when your with a friend for a week? I'd say look for another option where it doesn't involve a friend and see what she has to say.. I bet she just might losen up a bit and give ya the break you want. But I don't know the whole situation. So I could be wrong.
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Feb 12, 03
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she knows that i am not going to party... because i'm broke ass right now. But i do see ur point. I think the main reason she doesnt want me to go is because she is scared i wont want to come home, she isnt ready to let go yet.
I really dont know what to do, because i swear if i stay here much longer i'm going to either sink into a deep state of depression and end up on anti depressants or kill some one! I just need a BREAK thats all i want!!!! aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm going to lose it
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Feb 12, 03
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i think if you're that close to being able to leave you should try and just look forward to it and be as happy as you can be now. You will have the REST of your life to live wherever you want and do what you want. i would try and savour the time you have left and work on bettering yourself so you will be ready for such a move come june or whenever.....
i can understand being depressed, most of the shit in my life could be made into a full length film, but whut i've realized is that these days a whole shit load of people have big problems and you just gotta deal and work towards sumting better. personally i want to get the fuck out of this country, own nothing but my experiances and just live everywhere. if i can do that then i will have found escape
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Feb 12, 03
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Just because your a broke ass doesn't mean you can't party. I'm always broke and still manage to get out there and have my fun, whether it be raving, partying, chillin or whatever. Money doesn't always have to be involved to have a good time. AndI'm sure you know that and so does your mother. Remember. You mom was once your age too.
But yeah, you may not wanna come home, but does that mean.. your not going to? I think not. Cause I'm sure you love your mom, right? So you will go home if your asked.. or she'd probably come out to get you. Or could it be that your mother doesn't know the friend your wanna stay with or their parents? Let you mom speak to them, convince her and tell her anythign she wants to know.. tell her you will check in and what not.. just so she knows you alright. Sure you don't know what to do now.. but I'm sure you will think of something.... I dunno.. perhaps ask your mom for a get away with just you and her.. some mother daughter bonding. Tha could work.. just once your out that house door you and you mom leave everything behind for the weekend and enjoy a relaxing weekend! I'm sure that will settle your nevers. :)
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Feb 12, 03
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I hope you start feeling bettermsweety...di you try talking to u'r mom about the fact that u would come back...u probably have but some times talking about things like that can help!! Or maybe find a diffirent place to go...not that we wouldn't love to have u here but u'r mom knows that u luv van and that u want to be here so maybe theres a friend somwhere else u can visit??
But yeah life can b verry tough at times...just remember that u have friends that are ther for u!!
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Feb 12, 03
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Wow close to graduating and you hate the place you live in to the point of being depressed?
Honey, I hate to tell you this, but almost every young person experiences this. This is no excuse for you not to graduate and leave town for a month because doing either will only be a bandaid solution.
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Feb 12, 03
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refuse to be the victim - so you can't leave - so what? Leaving never helps in these situations, you must take on your demons one at a time - Being called a strong person really means nothing if you are just grittting your teeth and going through a situation without dealing with it -
Its okay to fel alienated from those around you - But its not okay to have the 'why me' metality take life on - easy to say, hard to do. Allow yourself to feel sad, graduate - take on the world it's hard to really offer aadvice when we don'tknow everything that is happened - find someone you trust, or the counsellor and try to find workable options for your situation Things may take time but you must work on them Jingles
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Feb 12, 03
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It's about 4 1/2 months until you graduate, assuming you will graduate at the end of june like most people in high school. (not to sure with the whole homeschool thing?)
anyways, think about it this way.. if you leave now and screw things up, like myra said it's just a bandaid solution. In the end it'll take you even longer to really figure it out. I hate where I live, I want to get out blah blah.. but I see it this way, if I screw up what I have going now, ontop of the 4 1/2 months I have left.. I'll have to do another 6 on top of that. So why add another 6 months of this, that I don't really need. If I just continue on, and deal with everything. I'll be out of there sooner.. Talk to your counsellor more about your problems. Maybe she/he can help. They'll never help if you go in there with the mindset that it will never do anything. You have to be willing to let them help you, because no one can help you unless you let them. And maybe this counsellor isn't the one for you.. try a different one maybe.
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Feb 12, 03
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Your problems don't go away if you are somewhere else, they'll be the same kind of problems everywhere you go. This is just an empty and shallow escape.
Your mom has every right to not want to let you go, you do realize that this is your last year in high school, most likely the most important year. With you so close to finishing, she's probably worried that you're going to throw that all away to go live in Van with some person she probably doesn't know. This is played under the assumption that your mother doesn't know this person you are staying with, but just imagine what it must sound like from her point of view: "Mom, can I go to Van for a week because I'm *depressed* and stay with someone you don't know that I probably met off the message board but seems really nice?" Now I'm assuming a lot here, but if my daughter was going to a city to stay with someone I didn't know, I wouldn't let her. If she has no money, who's she going to get the money to stay there from? Her parents, or a little friend we call oral sex. My advice: sucker it up and deal with it. It's 6 months, big fucken' deal. You've dealt with it for so long, 6 months is nothing. Every teenager goes through this, boo hoo, depression, teenage depression happens to everyone, it's no different for you.
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Feb 12, 03
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vanessa we all love you and if you talk to your mom and explain it to her in lame terms cause parents don't understand...then may be she will lighten up.....and if you wait 6 months it will just keep getting harder and harder for her to let you go.....i went through the same thing except i move from van to a smaller town(still don't know why).....and it ws hard but my parents got over it and so will yours you just have to give em time.......all the bes tof luck to you and if you ever need to talk i am so here
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Feb 12, 03
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Quote:
It's true though. No amount of runnng away will solve anything. the only real way to deal with a problem is to face it head on. Trust me on that.... problems are an everyday occurence in my life. You should only be so lucky that your parents are at least willing to try and help you out. I had to go to a counsellor when I was younger too and it really helped. You have to let it help though. You'd be surprised how good it feels to just let everything go to a person who has no bias or pre-formed opinions. Your counsellor may say you're a strong person... prove her right. If you stay and deal with your problems you'll be an even STRONGER person for it. Good luck.....
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Feb 12, 03
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I'm not trying to run away from my problems at all. Also by me going to vancouver for the rest of the month wont affect my school at all, because i do it all over the internet and as of right now school is my first priority.
I just need some time to think and being in here right now is not giving me that option. My mom does know the person i will by staying with and i do understand that everyone has problems, but everyone deal with them differently. Staying here will not do me any good at this point, i need a break. My mom understands to a certen point, but she is worried that i'm not going to come home. I will come home, like i said i'm not trying to run away from my problems i just need a break to figure everything out. Am i making n e sence?
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Feb 12, 03
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No offense hun but you're not really making sense.
Everyone goes through this "I need a break" routine. It's part of growing up. I know I did it. Fact is that not many people get the break that they're searching for. Honestly, it's best if you tough it out and move later. I hate to try and generalize but in my experience not many 18 y/o have enough life knowledge to really know what's good for them. I'm sure that'll piss some people off but I'm not saying all, just not many. I know that when I was 18 I didn't know shit about what was good for me or not....now being 25 I can look back on it and realize how stupid I was when I was younger. You have your whole life to escape the strangle hold of your parents. Deal with it now and go later.....
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Feb 12, 03
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stay the fuck in campbell river. You realize that basically if you leave right after highschool even, your best hope for a job will probably be a secretary or server or some shit since you wont have any college, nor will you be able to afford college at that wage. Nor will you be able to afford a car in the near future.
I could stand to leave my house too. But i dont. you know why? Free food, free hydro, free insurance, free housing, free cloths, free everything. I wont even THINK about leaving until i get my shit together and figure out what the fuck im gonna do with the rest of my life. If you leave from there, you will go NOWHERE. Come hell and high-water, you wont even have anyone to BORROW money from.
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Feb 12, 03
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Actually, i forgot to mention something. I live in a coop. The rent here is C*H*E*A*P
im not moving out. My parents can move out lol. I'll have a three bedroom townhouse for the price people pay for like a 1 bedroom apartment in one of those piece of shit wooden apartment buildings.
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Feb 12, 03
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Whatever happens, I hope you can keep a good relationship with your parents. Be nice to them.
Maybe you can try and convince them to let you go by telling them they can keep in touch with you online when you're on the computer doing you schooling and they can see what going on with you and make sure you're still coming home. Going to a new place doesn't make thing perfect. I know that from experience. But sometimes you do get away from situations that are bad or that you don't like. It's true that sometimes the same thing could happen in the new place you move to but at least you get a new chance. For months when I was in Florida I was sitting in my room thinking about how I wanna go see Canada and now it's finally happening :) That's the same thing you're doing - thinking about going where you want, but please don't cry. Try to feel good and think about that nice day in the future when you will get to go where you want. Maybe if two weeks is too long to ask them to let you go for then maybe you could ask them to let you go one week or a shorter time and your mom could talk to the people you;re staying with and tell them to help see to it that you come home. But I don't really know that much of what the situation is so I really can't say for sure what you should do. Either way just don't get too depressed and stop yourself from being happy.
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Feb 12, 03
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See, your sad because you're bored.
Go out and get counter-strike. Not alot of girls play it, but its HELLA fun. I can sit there all day and play it happy as fuck
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Feb 12, 03
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Quote:
Angst.... melting..... Brain! Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!
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Feb 12, 03
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Stick it out honey!
I hate my village of victoria, its super hard when you know the worl is huge and you only have like 70 years to expore it all, and 40 of those years you are gonna be old. Your almost done high school, just finish it and go, any time away from school is tough on the marks, and you cant tell me your actually going to keep up w/ tha work. stickin it out is the best way to go, i went to europe for the summer last year it was fuckin brilliant. work hard and play hard. you cant have one without the other, and taking breaks from life just procrastinate things and problems. good luck with it all!
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