[the girl of ur dreams?]

[omega_image]

sorry if this comes out as super confusing and dragged on, but i need to get this off my chest...

k, well this girl i've had a huge crush on for the past 2/3yrs gave me a ring ding last week and actually asked me out. supp, she's felt the same way, but she's either been involved with someone, or i was.....anywho im at a point right now where i know what im looking for, i want a relationship, not just "hanging out" and having sex......i want something more....and what gets at me the most is i dont know what she wants....i did talk to her about how she feels about the situation, she kinda avoided the topic, which in my books doesnt look to promising.....mind u it is kinda soon to be asking (since we had our "1st date" last week)

its just so frustrating, finally finding someone, someone i've wanted for the longest time.....and not knowing.....or worse having it, yet losing it due to different wants (hopefully u understood that last sentence) i am just super frustrated right now, cuz i dont wanna push it on her since its early......yet at the same time i basically need to know.....and if i ask her now i could loose it, where as if i wait a week i could be the happiest man alive......fuk im so confused....its to bad she's not on here cuz it would be so much easier for her to just read this. if only life were that easy, and another thing, if it does get serious, im moving to shanghai in sept. which just adds more confusion to the whole situation.....sorry for draggin u guys into this, but i could use some female insight......grr and it freaking sux that she lives so freaking far away....FUK.

[cinist]

wait a couple more dates and then spit it out!......you could always tell her that you are at a point in your life where you think you would like to find a relationship, and gage her reaction to that. See how she responds and go from there. good luck! and remember the other person is always feeling shy too!

[yoko*]

^the thing that caught my attention the most was the shanghai bit... It would be different if you were just staying there for a while, but you're moving. Sounds like she's some one that meets your standards very well if you've liked her for 2-3 years. If you fall hard and start something serious with her, it might just make it harder for you to both let go and end up in a lot of heart ache. At this point you have the choice of backing out while you still can.. That, or you can start something that will possibly be the most amazing relationship you've ever had, and savour it for the fews months that is left until you have to leave to SHanghai.. But ask yourself if it's worth the heartache..

[bob]

good luck man...

just don't put yourself in a "i'll take her any way i can get her" situation... if you're really serious about wanting a relationship, and you're crazy about her--but she just wants something casual to pass the time... don't bother with it. don't lower yourself like that. always remember that there are plenty of fish and the sea, and my phone number is ... * :kimmie: *

[cinist]

wait your moving to shanghai? why? can i come?

[omega_image]

dont worry bob i still got it on speed dial.......

im moving to go to school, and to teach english....

[cinist]

^
thats great!

[MC Hammered]

The old monkey's brother says: "If you want someone bad enough to be in your life you will find a way to make it happen."

[sweet~kandy]

I would say wait a lil while....u may have to suffer through that time for now knowing the truth but im sure it will be happy in the end. And if she doesnt open up to u, give her lil hints that u really want to know her feelings... let her know that ur crazy bout her... ( if she feels the same way back, sparks will fly) :)

[sweet~kandy]

Originally posted by MC Hammered
The old monkey's brother says: "If you want someone bad enough to be in your life you will find a way to make it happen."

Yepp Yepp!!!!!

[omega_image]

i wasnt aware that he had a brother.....that damn monkey hasnt even sent me a post card since he's been gone...

but thnx

[sweet~kandy]

Adam ur a nice guy, I hope things work out for u.

[kersed]

adam,

is it the girl whos party you were at last weekend?
cause if so, well.......
either way, if youre gonna be moving, i'd suggest not getting involved into a relationship like that right now.

[u_kno_it]

U goin to shanhai man that sux, but if it's for ur own good then u should keep it up brother be succesful in life... :kam:

[omega_image]

:soak:

yeah kersed, u know who im talking about.......altho she is aware that im moving...

[bren]

i was in your shoes exactly for the past 6 months

heres my advice: dont push her - youll only push her away.

if its gonna happen it will - when she is ready. if shes not ready then take it slow - i know its hard and frustrating but its what you gotta do dude. good luck.

bren

[Kraig]

Leave her to me... errrrr I mean... Just kiddin dude. I've talked to you a lot about this already... Bren and a few others in this thread have made some great points.

Keep in mind through out it all, you only live once and as I said to you on the phone, "what have you got to loose?"

[MissBehavior]

mind u it is kinda soon to be asking

Maybe, but on the otherhand, just let her know you need to know what headspace she's in...

[Cowboy]

well im sorry but im gonna have to go a totally different direction on this one...i wouldn't tell her what youre looking for at all....as soon as u let a girl know that they are the only girl that you intend on sleeping with or being with at the time or forever whatever it happens to be....u have now lost control in the entire situation......its when a woman starts to feel secure that hse is most likely to transform into that manipulative, dishonest person she actually is....don't get me wrong this isn't with all women...and you might think im biased based on my most recent past....but this is not solely my opinion.....if u happen to listen to MOJO radio....there is a host they have on there called Tom Leikis...(sp?)...listen to his show for a week and ull see what im talking about...

i mean...i can understand jus seeing what she wants so you know what move to make from there...but i don't think you should be looking for something thats gonna tie you...ull regret it...for many reasons....the relationship will become too secure...and eyes will wander...jus leave the option open that you are free to date other people...and that will in turn create the opposite response from her......and considering youre moving soon, why would you want to set yourself up for failure....thats like emotional self mutilation.......if you allowed yourself to become a lil puppy that is........

what it basically boils down to is htis man......in order for you to get the best out of this situation is to jus take it for a ride...don't take it so seriously and that way if things leave off well when you do move...when you eventually come back...maybe she'll have been thinking about you the whole time....or maybe you'll have found someone even more worthy...and become the better person for it........just a thought..

corrie

[FuZzPaW]

"would you rather have loved and lost, or never loved at all?"

^it works here. i know where you're coming from, almost exacty.

it's all about experience, and either way you'll walk away with some knowledge about what to do next time.
but think of it this way...if you don't say anything, you'll probably always wonder if she was thinking the same thing...
and what if she is? and is thinking that you'll be pushed away if she says anything?

it's all about the "what if-s"...

[PHUNK]

i would have rather never loved at all.

sometimes its just not worth it.

[~snow*white~]

oh adam.....i'm sure everything in the end will turn out fine!
i think you should take the risk and talk to her about what you want. life is about taking risks. you wouldnt want what ifs for the rest of ur life now would u? see how she feels...work things out bw u two.
do what YOU want to do....what does ur heart tell u to do? what do ur feelings want? if they want her bad enough then u know to get her, but if they arent strong, then maybe u know its for the best not being with her.
think about the shangai moving thing after you deal with her?

i hope this helped a bit...but u have my #, u can always call when u need to.....take care and good luck!! =)

[meth0dical]

Originally posted by PHUNK
i would have rather never loved at all.

sometimes its just not worth it.

FUCKIN EH! so true man, it's pretty shitty. until you find the one you'll love for the rest of your life. then it's probably allllll good

[sungoo]

the way I see it.
If she is the girl of ur dreams, would you be willing to stay here for her?

if not, what makes you think she will come with you there...

It's too much baggage, but I doubt you'll listen to my advice as most people go after the girl.

[omega_image]

has nothing to do with wether she'll move, or if i'll stay here.....

sorry if my post was unclear......im not moving for good, for a few yrs....which i guess in turn still leaves the question is she worth waiting for? bah......